to want to give my two year old the best Christmas ever

[mancmama1614]

When I was a little girl, growing up my parents were really poor. However they saved all year for Christmas and used to spend up to £1k on each of us so we had loads of Christmas presents to open. We made loads of family Christmas memories too (Disney on ice, Christmas Eve hampers, eve-of-the-eve-of-Christmas-eve presents) and I look back on those Christmases with the fondest of memories.
Now, I am in a similar position to what my mum and dad were in when they were younger; my partner earns a good salary (I am a SAHM) however we are paying off quite hefty debts from our hedonistic twenties 🙄 so we are strictly on a tight budget.
AIBU to still go what some people would class as overboard at Christmas? So far the presents I have bought him are about 35 in total, I have spent about £350-£400 (don't count) but still want to get him all the clangers merchandise which will be another £150.
Added to this there will be visits to the santa train, Christmas parties at all the playgroups we go to and a winter wonderland trip.
His birthday is in January and we would like to have a big party for him and all his friends and also buy about 10-15 presents for that too.
Can I just add we aren't taking out any credit for this because I wouldn't be accepted for any anyway
All I see on Facebook and in the news are people only buying their kids one present, letting the grandparents pick up the slack or following that bloody soulless four gift rule.
Not buying for adults this year and me and my partner aren't buying for each other but we are buying for kids of friends.
Does anyone else do a Christmas like this when they are on a bit of a budget? Or any free trip ideas (ideally in Manchester) to add an extra special touch?

Are you on glue? Your child won’t remember any of it!!!

By the way while I'm sure your parents work(ed) hard and are lovely people who did their best by you and your siblings you did NOT grow up poor. Not with £1k worth of stuff to open at Christmas. Just no. And to be honest it's quite galling to have someone describe themselves as "growing up poor" and in the next breath saying they got that much stuff

Honestly, if I ever said the phrase "we grew up really poor but we were spoilt at Christmas" I'd be gutted. I'd rather an even spread of comfort throughout the whole year than penny pinching to try to save for a hugely lavish Christmas. So the idea that you are trying to replicate that really boggles me!

My younger cousins were always given loads for Christmas and my grandad would always say that they preferred playing with the cardboard boxes. Enjoy a relaxed time with your family and don’t worry about loads of presents

Absolutely ridiculous! And how boring for your DS...who wants to sit and open 35+ presents?!

You say you want to give your son the best Christmas ever, but what you're going to end up doing is actually ruining Christmas for him.

When I was a child, my brother and I got new pjs, dressing gowns and slippers each with a new disney movie we would sit and watch as a family on Christmas Eve. On Christmas morning, we would each recieve a gift from Santa Claus that was made out of wood, (dolls house, train set, etc) as well as gifts from our parents, which were always things like board games, puzzles, books etc, that we could enjoy as a family. Christmas was more about spending time as a family than mountains of gifts in our house and they were the best days!

I’d rather spend that money through the year and have a better standard of living than blow thousands at Christmas. It’s not all about having loads of gifts you know

My DS is 1.5 this Christmas. We are doing a few well thought out presents and spending time with family. I have been putting money away into an account all year that he can have as an adult. You do what you want, but I've taken to heart my cousins advice - dont bother with loads of gifts as they unwrap, put it aside with hands out for the next one. Quantity does not equate to quality. Good memories are great, but better for when they are older and can actually remember. You might think four presents are soulless, but they might just be the four presents that a particular child had their heart on.

Up to you, but I hope you have those six months of living expenses squirreled away in case your one income stops. It can happen to everyone and happens to most at least once.

Happily he won't remember either a big pile of tat or the worst time ever if you go under financially. I really hope it doesn't happen but it is clear why you have so much debt.

My mother remembers that as the terrible Christmas where all they could afford for me was a box of second hand books and is always astonished when I say that was one of the best presents I ever got.

I remember those christmases, my parents look back on them with horror. We loved them. Like the year, all they could afford for my birthday was a dressing gown my mum made for me. I bloody loved that dressing gown and had looked forward to getting it. I knew it was coming because my sister got one for her birthday the month before and I was so jealous. I remember coming home from school and immediately changing into my jammas just so I could wear it.

That is definitely growing up poor.

Surely the memories of Christmas are related to family and food and doing stuff together. We always watch Sound of Music and sing along badly (and DS1 now knows all the lyrics) and we slob around and play games and generally have a good time. We go for a nice walk, go to Christmas markets and have great fun putting up the tree. We also watch the King's college carols together (my children are very musical unlike me) while sipping hot chocolate. It's the one time of the year we really truly switch off although DH as a medic might well be on call (and my DSis who is also a medic is on call this year). The kids get 4-5 presents, that's it. We choose them carefully and get stuff that gets used through the year. But I hope they remember the occasion, the silly hats, the jokes, the general family craziness, which costs very little to create rather than the gifts themselves.

I agree that if there are parents who can spend 3K a year on presents they were not poor or were poor because they made bad financial decisions.

Also if you spread out those 35 toys over the year he would appreciate them far more.
And of course, no one has said this, but in the U.K. (we are not originally from Britain) so much of this is dictated by class. The wealthiest often have the least presents and for those who live in poverty the gift giving frenzy represents something about the reality of their lives at other times. I am not judging either end of the spectrum, but clearly there is more to it than meets the eye.

You seem to be very focussed on the material things and on money, rather than actually doing nice things with him. He will enjoy making mince pies far more than he will enjoy a grands worth of branded tat.

my parents were really poor

used to spend up to £1k on each of us

we are paying off quite hefty debts from our hedonistic twenties

So far the presents I have bought him are about 35 in total, I have spent about £350-£400 (don't count) but still want to get him all the clangers merchandise which will be another £150.

Do you think your parents terrible money prioritization has rubbed off on you....?????????

To be honest OP, what's very obvious (and extremely sad) from everything you've said, is that this really isn't about your DC at all. It's all about you, the expectations you put on yourself, what you want. I really do feel that you need to have a long hard think about why you feel the need to do this and challenge the root of it. You'd be much happier for it.

Sorry but I think spending that much money on a 2 yr old is ridiculous. Our daughter is 2 in January and I plan to buy her 1 main present and then maybe 5 little £5 or less presents. It'll come in under £100. You know what will be her favourite "present" the box it came in!!

I think you need to realise the number of gifts or amount you spend on your child doesn't reflect how much you love them or how good a time they'll have. A few presents and a family day out, visit to Santa etc would make a lovely Christmas. Why not wipe some of your debts instead of blowing all your money on tat they'll never play with.

I bet this is on the Reddit troll forum thingy

I'd have thought he'd appreciate some life lessons and his parents not being in "hefty debt".

I earn what you've spending every day. DH a little more. The idea of doing all that you are is preposterous. One of ours wants something for his bike. The other a Switch. I baulked at the price of each of them.

There are so many things that you could do with the money which would benefit your child. A savings account. A big holiday when they're old enough to remember it.

I agree with PP that you sound like you need some kind of professional help.

Oh FFS. Get a grip!

I just asked my youngest ds who is 9 what his first Christmas memory was. It was coming downstairs to find that Santa had covered the lounge door with wrapping paper so he had to burst through. I did this when he was three. He can’t remember a single present from that year.

So far the presents I have bought him are about 35 in total, I have spent about £350-£400

You'd be better off going for quality over quantity, or otherwise your house will be overrun with clutter.

You'd be better off going for quality over quantity, or otherwise your house will be overrun with clutter.

True, that's averaging a tenner a present. You'd be better off getting him a nice balance bike or micro scooter and a helmet, which he can start playing with in the summer. And that's all.

It's upto you but 35 presents is a lot. He won't remember or thank you for it. My 2yo was very bored with it all after 3 or 4 presents.

I think you are setting your boundaries high and your Sons expectations will be high every Xmas when he gets older. Focus on experiences not presents.

Take half 3/4 of it back and pay off some more of your debts. Don’t complain when interest rates rise further and you get in more financial trouble. At least your parents saved for Christmas. At 2 most of my son’s stuff came from Nearly New. They don’t know the difference.