MIL & FIL are literally obsessed with their two sons. They think their children are literally the greatest in every sense of the word. My brother in law met a lovely girl who had a child from a previous relationship. I met her and her then 4 year old who seemed really polite and lovely. After the meeting, MIL went on about how spoiled the daughter is. God knows where she got that impression from, but never mind. BIL has stepped in and taken on the father figure role. MIL now goes on about how he has made a huge impact on the girl. How he’s set rules in place that her Mum never had. How he makes her take her uniform after school where as her Mum never used to bother. “What a difference he’s made to her life, he’s given her rules and that’s what a child needs”. In my eyes she really discredits all the hard work her Mum did for those 4 years as a single mother. The only thing she says to the mum’s credit is “she really takes care of my son, last time I was there she brought an apple into him and told him to eat it because he doesn’t eat enough of that sort of thing”. Mil thinks I don’t take enough care of my husband (her other son) as we treat each other as equals and no offence but he’s not my child, I’ll not be telling him to eat fruit. PIL believe their boys should basically be waited on hand and foot and his parents reaction when they saw him put a wash load on was “why are you doing that?” They think their boys are literally the salt of the earth and they’ve made me feel like merely a vessel to carry their grandchildren, rather than a human being and an equal. Unfortunately, future SIL (although a nice girl) is quite backwards in the sense that she does everything around the house so my brother in law won’t lift a finger. I feel like a bit of an outcast in the family because I don’t fit their criteria of a stereotypical wife. Am I over reacting? I’m wondering if maybe I’m the problem here.