About friend...

[cutthegraa]

Yes I probably am being unreasonable but guess I want to get it off my chest.

A friend, who lives overseas, got cancer last year. Needed chemo and surgery. Her health care didn't cover it. She had no savings. She is late thirties, professional job. No particular reason for no savings other than she enjoyed good hols and spending her money. Fair enough.

But she couldn't afford to pay for cancer treatment. So her sister (UK) based got in touch with her friends explaining about cancer and the cost of treatment. Friends contributed large sums and her treatment was covered and thankfully she has been given the all clear, which is fantastic.

I contributed a significant amount. I don't have huge sums but I budget and save. We have kids.

So over the past year, since treatment, I've barely heard from my friend but every month I see posts on Facebook from lovely looking holidays. We haven't been abroad in years!

I guess it just rubs me the wrong way slightly that friends contributed thousands upon thousands for her treatment and she had NO savings and here she is still spending as before (she is working again).

I don't expect any payment back at all, that's not the issue. And I want her to enjoy life. But it just doesn't sit comfortably with me.

Maybe I'm just a crap friend...

I guess I thought she might be a little more prudent and start saving now (whilst obv enjoying life!) given the situation was she in. I don't think she should be living the life of a nun!

How do you know she's not saving? It's entirely possible to be able to afford to save some money, go on holiday, but not afford to pay for thousands of pounds worth of cancer treatment abroad all at once. Most people I know are probably in that position. If you contributed 'a significant amount' to her and can save but can't afford to take your kids on holiday and that bothers you, you might just not be prioritising your own spending properly? I don't know, it just seems a really weird way to think about someone you presumably care a lot about who had cancer.

As for this: She is callous posting photos of frivolous spending now though, wouldn't it be better to see her volunteering for charities and giving back to society?

Maybe she sees it as she's done her part, you know, being the one that had fucking cancer.

@pigeondujour she had no savings! None.