I'll try and keep this brief...
Hubby and I had a massive argument last night (one of many over recent months) and accused me of failing as a wife.
The back story is we have been together 11 years, married for 4 and up until our child was born relatively happy. There was one minor indiscretion on his part where I caught him sexting another woman a couple of months before we got married but we worked through this.
Since our child was born we seem to have done nothing but argue. Hubby works shifts, a mix of days and nights, while I went back to work full time when our child was 6 months old, they now go to nursery full time. During my maternity we argued a lot, as if I hadn't done something around the house I would be accused of being lazy and not doing anything. This could be after having a bad day with the baby or having been out at baby groups etc, but he still would barely lift a finger round the house.
Going back to work has been a struggle. DC still doesn't sleep through the night at 16 months old, and can be up 2 -3 times a night. I do all the night settling as due to hubby's shifts he is often not there anyway, and he is a really bad sleeper when he is there so it's just easier for me to do them. I'm up at 6am, at work after drop and a 45 minute commute for 8am, not home much before 6pm.
DC has had really bad separation anxiety with me. Although they are fine when dropped at nursery (usually get a kiss and a wave goodbye, the odd grumble on a Monday!) if I leave the room when at home they will cry until I come back, even if hubby is in the room. I try and work round this, and let them come with me in the kitchen or try and get them to settle and watch a bit of TV, but hubby's way of dealing with this is shut the gate and let them scream until I'm done with what needs to be done. This just breaks my heart and I think there must be a better way of dealing with it but we can't seem to find a compromise. I know he is upset that they are a mummy's child but I have tried to say it's a phase that will pass (hopefully!)
We also argue over the housework. I generally do most of it, wash bottles up, do the washing up, the washing, take the bins & recycling out, put clothes away, where as he occasionally cuts the grass and that's about it. Whoever is home first will generally cook dinner, but when it is hubby all he does is moan about how I haven't cooked for him in so long and how he does everything.
So last night we had another argument as I didn't hear something he had said, and then DC caught their head on a table (not hard) so I went to go and check they were ok and comfort them but hubby told me to leave them and if they were hurt they would come to us! We then had a massive row as I didn't hear something else he said, and was called a selfish, horrible person, who is harming out child in the way I act and that he doesn't know why we are together and that I'm a bad wife!
We don't get a lot of time together. I try and make time for him after DC has gone to bed, even if it's just watching a TV show, but apparently I should be jumping on him on every night as that's what all parents do when their children have gone to bed! We have had a few days out together recently and a couple of afternoons to go for a meal and we usually get on fine then, but as soon as it's the 3 of us it feels like it's a war zone.
So not brief at all haha, just wondering if anyone has any advice as I'm really at breaking point!!