to ask what you'd do on a date night

[cjt110]

So lately, we have invested in spending some more time together. DH and I that is. I suggested we have some date nights, perhaps once or twice a month.

Doesn't have to be fancy or going out even. PreDS we would regularly pop to the pub for something to eat, a few glasses of wine etc. We'd talk the night away and enjoy ourselves.

Since DS we haven't really eaten out and of late things have been distant/strained. My husband is off this week and is decorating the house. I suggested I ask if my parents would have DS overnight at the weekend and we go out, to the cinema or such. DH said no cinema.

So, what do you do on your date nights?

We have been doing alphabet dating where you either pick a letter randomly or work methodically through the alphabet picking a date beginning with that letter. It's been fun coming up with creative date ideas because we'd usually just go for a meal or to the cinema.

Clever idea motheroftwojedi I'm not even sure where we'd begin.

I dont want us to just stay in at home but equally, staying at home with nice food is easier...

Do what you did before.if it's not broke don't try to fix it and all that. A meal and wine sounds lovely

I suggested I ask if my parents would have DS overnight at the weekend and we go out, to the cinema or such. DH said no cinema.

So what has he suggested?

We do things like play Scrabble or another board game, just sit and talk over a bottle of wine and a baked Camembert, have a nice dinner just the two of us, or watch a film.

Sloe Nothing as of yet. I followed up with that it was fine In 13 years of being together we've been to the cinema once because he hates the cinema and in fact, instead of me choosing, he can choose what we shall do for a change. Not had a reply yet

We take turns to look through recipe books for something new and tricky and either cook it together or cook for each other,depending on mood or if one of us needs looking after. Then we watch telly and drink wine. Simple souls, us!

Grouchy That sounds like bliss. We have been watching Stranger Things on Netflix. Reserved just for us. Neither can watch without the other and it's been lovely. Perhaps we can carry on with that as we are only just onto the second series...

But then, that's just normal shit. And means really we don't need DS to go to my parents.... Hmmm...

Of late we have had discussions about us and how we feel we've become distanced etc so I suppose the aim is quality time.

Mil always insists on 24 hours with the kids when she has them. Our last childfree 24 hours was:
. Christmas shopping for the kids (bloody bliss not having to worry where they were in the packed toy shop
. Afternoon
. Out for a couple of
. Dinner somewhere we definetly wouldnt take the kids
. Home for 9.30, watch a movie,
. Lie in with bacon sarnies and brews in
bed.
. Collect kids.

What about a pub with a pool table and a few games of that with drinks? Bowling. Ice rink.

I'd say go out for a pub meal or whatever kind you fancy. If you stay in and watch something it's no different to usual and there's no need to talk. If you go out you have a chance to reconnect and try to see if you're still heading in the same direction, make some plans for the future.

* But then, that's just normal shit. And means really we don't need DS to go to my parents.... Hmmm...*

Watch it naked, in the daytime

TBH I'd still send the child off to grandmas for the night and crack open the chocolate body spread

Do what you did before.if it's not broke don't try to fix it and all that. A meal and wine sounds lovely

I agree. Why not just do what you know you both like doing, particularly if the aim is to 'reconnect'? I don't really understand why you would suggest something that you know your husband hates...

HostaFireAndIce He hates watching series on TV but has been engrossed in Stranger Things since I asked did he want to watch it together...

Nap Your suggestion sounds great. Sadly, our time is usually from ^pm drop off til about 10am in the morning so not really chance for Xmas shopping :(

We got to the pub and have a few glasses of wine and talk, just as you say. It doesn't happen often, maybe once a month or every couple months but it's lovely. I wouldn't do the cinema or a box set or film at home, etc. as you don't get a chance to talk to each other (you can sit and watch tv and not speak any other night when you don't have childcare). It's so refreshing just to be able to leave the house in the evenings and feel a bit like your old selves again.

What about a pub quiz?

Things DH and I have done recently:
go to a gig of live music
go to a comedy night
go for a walk in the woods under the full moon
cocktails

comedy and live music gigs were definitely our best dates when DC were small as we got a lot of fun out of them, and got to enjoy each others' company again. Dinners or drinks in the pub could fall flat when you're knackered with little to say.

For Valentine’s Day a couple of years ago, I bought a blank scrapbook and decorated it. I called it ‘2014 - a year of dates for Rapunzel’sDad and Rapunzel’sMom’

I put a date idea every few pages, with a following page for pics we took that night and anything we had to say about the date.

The dates were things like: dinner, cocktails, coffee and cake, a cooking class, go-carting, an evening at home watching a movie with wine, tickets for a show. I’d pre-booked as much as possible in advance and organised the rest at the time.

We missed a couple of dates due to kids being ill and some unavoidable reason but we mostly kept to it.

Thats a great idea Rapunzels

I am going to leave it up to DH to decide what we do this weekend I think. Im always deciding stuff for us and it's about time I stood back and let him take charge as I can be a bit overbearing

Me and DH sat down and made ourselves a date night jar. Date night is every Saturday once the kids are in bed, and one Saturday a month we try to get a babysitter and go out. It was really quite fun coming up with ideas. We've separated them into indoors and outdoor dates, just all written on pieces of paper and folded up and mixed up in a jar. We pick one every Sunday so we can get things in before the Saturday if we need too. They range from board games, to baking together, to doing YouTube dance lessons. The idea was to do something other than watch TV! Perhaps you can both sit down and come up with some things if your DH isn't very creative on his own.