Group holidays - yay or nay?

[Findmysocks]

My Dh and his friends are wanting to go on a big group holiday. We all have kids near enough around the same ages and apparently it's going to be great all staying in the same villa. It will be 4/5 families in this villa.

My Dh was all excited when he told me about this the other night, then disappointed I didn't share his enthusiasm. Now he's pissed off and won't even talk about it. He'd messaged his friends telling them I thought it was a bad idea, I wanted a villa for ourselves and was worried that the kids wouldn't get along. Fair enough things I all said but I wasn't expecting my Dh to tell them that.

For me it sounds like a complete nightmare and my anxiety levels shot up at the thought. We don't see his friends very often, maybe once or twice a year at weddings or the occasional birthday. It doesn't sound relaxing to me, I like my space and feel claustrophobic being around large groups for long periods of time. I even get stressed out having family over for birthdays.

Please be honest and tell me if I'm overreacting and give me your stories, good or bad!

It depends on the people. One person in the group can spoil it for everyone. If you have a narcissist in the group who demands everything their way then it can be a very tiring experience.
We did it as a group of six couples. One of the ladies was a spoilt witch who demanded this that or the other. We either spent the time hiding in our rooms to avoid her ugly sulking face or doing something we didn't want to do.
The other people were great though and would go away with them again any time.

I'd try a bank holiday weekend first before anything longer

And definitely separate accomodation!

Glad your dh has seen sense, OP.

It would be a cold day in hell before I ever agreed to a group holiday.

First off, I'd be really annoyed if dh shared a discussion we had like that.

Secondly, I think your anxiety is completely irrelevant to this. Most people would not fancy sharing a living space with people they don't know very well and whose kids aren't particular friends with theirs.

We, and two other families decided to give it a go this year. We all get on really well and the kids are really good friends. However, we decided to go for a weekend just to see how it worked out before committing to a longer break. As it happens, it worked out really well but we all know one another and parent in a similar way with kids that are best friends and who don't tend to fall out.

I have, in the past, gone away for a weekend with large groups of people, some of whom I knew better than others. We generally had a great time but it was only a weekend and there were no kids involved. No way in hell would I go on a holiday in shared accommodation with people I don't know well, particularly with kids. In fact, I'd be reluctant to do it with separate accommodation unless there were very clear ground rules.

I think it really depends on the people. If the others are like minded and have very similar interests it could be great.
I love going away with my DH, BIL and his wife and the kids. We all are like minded and take turns with cooking, washing and watching each other kids so we can get a meal out as a couple.
However, we then decided to invite PIL'S. it completely changed the dynamic of the group and I would never go with them again. FIL has to watch what he wants on the TV every time, including the DVD that is on after the kids are in bed. MIL is very aware of every single calorie that she is eating, and will constantly ask me and other DIL how we could possibly manage a pudding. (Eh? I'm on my holidays!!!)
Never again with them. Ever.

Even if your friends are the nicest, fairest people in the world with the best behaved children ever, I think that some people will just not really enjoy group holidays.

I quite like a group holiday- but I'm happy to spend a week with not much personal time/space and not bothered about going along with others' plans if my ideas are in the minority. DH on the other hand really needs his personal space- he's happy to have me and the DC 24/7 but other than that too much of even his best friends makes him anxious and tetchy. He cannot see the point of doing an activity that we don't really want to do because most of the rest of the group want to do it.

The one and only time we attempted a group holiday (with people that we like a lot and no real dramas) he hated it and just wanted to go off and do something as a family (which I thought would look really rude). We joke that it's an only child thing but I think it's actually just a personality thing. He also has no interest in a 'lads' weekend away etc. If you're got a similar personality you probably won't enjoy it.

The idea of separate apartments with a shared pool sounds a great suggestion!

I would totally agree with this - I have shared villas and it hasnt been great to be honest. I have also been to places where we each have our own apartment and it has been absolutely brilliant - the children have had a wonderful time altogether and as long as the parents are all ok to spend time both together and separately then its fantastic. Depending on budget, I would recommend Sun Gardens in Croatia and Pine Cliffs in Portugal for this kind of set up.

We've done this and love it! And the children love it even more. However we are all laidback and also have similarish parenting styles/values. Also we didn't always do the same thing - and felt easy about saying 'we're going to do .... today. See you at later on.' Great memories.

No way, it’s far too risky unless there is separate accommodation. I don’t want to spend 2 weeks of my most precious holiday time treading on eggshells, trying to be tolerant of other people’s DCs or doing what others want to do. Chances are the other spouses were quite relieved too OP.

Jesus H Christ, I was having conniptions over having DP's friend over for lunch recently.

A whole holiday away with other people? I'm having anxiety shudders just thinking about it.

Did it (pre)kids with a large group of couples/ friends abroad in a villa and some of us have never been close since. Was horrendous. Also did for new years eve once, also horrendous. I think with 1 other couple you know extremely well, with kids- fine- and worked well for us.

But anything larger its just too many cooks/too many different parenting/holidaying styles. and will end in a clash of some sorts- even if just people internally seething and withdrawing from the group.

hell would freeze over before I shared a villa in this way. The closest we got was staying in the same hotel with friends. We all had separate rooms and came and went as we pleased, but I still hated the pressure to socialise. I come on holiday to chill