to want to shake my husband awake

[strugglingtosleep]

We’re currently living with the in laws and are all in one room

Dd woke up just under two hours ago and has fought going back to sleep ever since. I’ve been sat here trying to get her back to sleep with no offer of help from my husband, apart from the odd complaint when I’ve whispered and begged dd to just give in and go to sleep (apparently I’m shouting at her, which is rubbish as there’s 2 other adults in the house, who I’m being very careful not to disturb, so I’m sat here in silence otherwise) or where I’ve asked her not to punch me (she’s going through a weird phase of pinching me as she falls asleep). I’m definitely not shouting, not even saying these things in a normal voice.

Bearing in mind I was awake most of the night because I couldn’t settle because of a hospital appointment dd had today and then started having rolling panic attacks. I eventually fell asleep somewhere between 4 and 5 and dd woke at 6.30. I asked my husband to take her downstairs so I could grab an extra hour or so before needing to get up and he mutters under his breath about me getting a lie in, despite him knowing that I was up for so long in the night.

I’m so tired and so fed up of being the one to sit here and struggle with dd in the night while he snores away next to me. He knows full well that I struggle to sleep at times yet his sleep seems to be more important than mine (even though he doesn’t work at the moment as he’s been out of work for a few months, but is waiting on a start date for a job that he’s been offered through an agency).

Aibu to want a bit of help or even support from him on nights like this?

If she pinches me then I’ll say to her sternly “don’t pinch me, it hurts”, or if I’m getting worked up because she’s fighting me I’ll practically bed “please just go to sleep”. I don’t raise my voice though because there’s other people in the house that are sleeping too. It comes across as if he gets stroppy for me speaking and waking him up

Please stop defending yourself, it sounds like you handle your child amazingly. He has no right to “tell you off”, especially when he’s doing nothing to help you.

If he’s doing 6am - 2pm, take advantage of that for a nap and make it a regular thing that he gets your dd up on his return is you can have a few hours in the afternoon.