To think I can be gorgeous again?

[Pinkpowerofthought]

I'm 27. Four stone overweight. Because of this I haven't bought myself clothes for ages and ages. I got to the point today where I literally had ran out of trousers apart from my stretchy black pair and decorating joggies. I went to Matalan and bought a new jumper, jeggings, boots and a handbag. I looked around and saw all the lovely clothes that i loved but didn't see the point in wearing because I will still look massive.
I've never had my nails done. My eyebrows aren't professionally shaped but do get them waxed once in a blue moon. I've never had my nails done.
My hair is blonde using a home dye kit from nice and easy and it's boring. It's a bob. I shower and leave it wet to dry naturally...it always drys looking greasy.
I never wear makeup anymore.
I used to be bloody gorgeous. Good figure. Long blonde hair. Fashionable and slim.

I'm 27 ffs and I'm embarrassed to leave the house.
I have a lovely dp who loves me for who I am but I feel ashamed of myself. Especially when his mum and sisters all look like they make an effort with themselves.
I need help and advice.
I have a really physical job so I need to eat a lot of protein and carbs. (Postie so walk about 10 or 11 miles a day) I haven't put weight on sinse starting the job a year ago but I haven't lost any either, probably because I'm still eating shite.
I don't want to be frumpy and fat. Help!

Of course you can! You're the same little blonde hottie on the inside you're just not carrying yourself the same way.

Small changes every day, get that confidence rebuilt!

Treat yourself to a spa day & shopping trip with a good friend who will tell you when you do look good in something (and believe her! she means it!) Keep a memento of this day somewhere where you will see it often to remind you that you can look and feel great and it will inspire you to carry on with your long-term plans

If you can't afford anything else, get some properly-fitted underwear. It not only makes you feel great (which will make you look great in itself) but a good bra can make you look loads slimmer

Agree with reppin over weight + good bra = amazing boobs

Also if you go back to fabulous hair, that is what people will be looking at.

YANBU

I had a moment of clarity last April that I had really let myself go, and I've totally turned it around. New updated hair, new updated (but simple) makeup, in much better shape, and I've lost 39 pounds so far.

My advice is to make a list of ALL the reasons you want to make these changes, and then read through it every day so you stay focused. I agree that WW works.

Hope this doesn’t come across crazy superficial but when my eyebrows are tinted + shaped, and my hair blowdried nicely I feel so much better in myself. I have around 2 stone to lose (probably 3 if i’m being really honest) but days my face and hair look good I feel much better. OP – pump a bit of money into getting a decent haircut, get the hairdresser to show you how best to shape it at home, maybe buy some salon-standard styling products, visit a make-up counter and say you want to purchase some new make-up to freshen you up a bit with a budget of £xx. Treat yourself to some nice things like that and get yourself into a positive frame of mind to lose the weight. I started spin classes a couple of years ago and the weight came off quick (just need to find the time to return now!) x

I can cut back on food but I don't lose weight. You walk 10miles a day that is a lot of walking. Is this brisk walking? What ypu may find helps is doing two exercise classes a week of high impact moves like Zumba.

I ate healthy and did two classes a week. Over a period of 6mths I lost 3 stone. With Zumba you don't have to be great in coordination as long as you are moving it helps.

Good luck

The wall of China was built with one brick OP

And you are YOUNG !!!

If I were you I would start with one thing at a time . So start with the exercise and healthy eating - then minor shit like hair and clothes later

Maybe start with a food and exercise diary and just track a normal week ???

Keep a food diary and cut out the takeaways. You're not even 30 yet so the weight will drop quickly with a diet alone.
With that much walking you don't need the gym it's the food intake you need to change.
For motivation stick a picture of your best pre weight gain picture somewhere you will see it.

Just do little bits for yourself. Get your hair done. Treat yourself to some clothes that you love that will still be fine when you lose weight (like accessories or those big wrap poncho thngs that are always around this time of year). I went through a phase like this after I had baby and I just had to do little bits at a time but it made me feel so much better.

See, you are lucky really because you do loads of exercise so can probably already eat more than most people.

You could lose four stone in a year easily - once you're in the right mind set and go for it you'll soon be slim again.

I'm in the middle of losing 4 stone. 2 down, 2 to go! The hardest part by far was getting in the right mindset to start. And part of getting into that mindset was starting to take pride in my appearance again, and realising I'm still attractive while I am overweight.

Like you, I had a lovely DP who fancied me rotten as well as lots of other positive stuff in my life - once I realised my weight wasn't the be all and end all, it didn't seem so scary and the pressure was off. I started to slowly lose weight a pound a week by tracking on My Fitness Pal.

I still have the odd takeaway, but I feel in control now - I don't use it as an excuse to eat junk the whole week. I really think I can keep up my new relationship with food once I get to my target weight range, it is the "new normal" to me which is great. But realising that I'm worth looking after is really the biggest improvement of all. You can do it, OP

Brilliant post @pinkpowerofthought.

I was feeling exactly like you - my ds turned 4 last week. I still haven't lost his baby weight cos it's his not mine
But at end of June I joined RH fitness and discovered that I wasn't eating enough! I've lost about 10lbs but feel so much better and am eating more and I bought some fab skinny jeans to say well done to myself a couple of weeks ago. It's not massive weight loss compared to others in the group but I've a sedentary job, it would come off you much quicker.

Course you can! Other than cutting down on the takeaways and booze, check your thyroid function is good as it can make losing weight tricky. I agree with the others, a good haircut and get the lipstick on!

Re your anxiety, have you sought out help for it?

OP I'm ten years older than you and was 4 stone overweight.

I decided I was going to start taking care of myself, even overweight. I bought nice clothes, started getting a haircut, put on lipstick.

Then I got into fitness. I am now 4 stone lighter, toned, and I still pamper myself.

You can do it but you need to start loving yourself now. For years I fell into the trap of 'when I lose weight'. It was only when I recognised my worth as a human being which is regardless of your waist size that the rest followed.

I bet you are gorgeous, inside and out. I see women far more stunning than me who are much bigger than me all the time.

We are tricked that weight loss equals happiness and self-care but it's the other way round.

I was you at the start of the year.

I'd gone from a slim 8/10 bright blonde confident sexy young woman.... to a size 14/16 bloated middle aged frump.

I was three stone overweight (conservative answer, more like four)

I was wearing shitty clothes that were ill fitting and scruffy because I wasn't me. My hair was a mess and I wasn't taking care with my makeup.

My DH was sick of it. He was sick of me moaning about it and being depressed about it.

I was forced into needing new clothes, as I changed job (not in the best Circumstances but wow such a positive change)

I'm now a size 10, four stone lighter , my hair is accidentally looking awesome and I've literally just bought an entire new wardrobe and loads of makeup.

Started: new cloths for work.
Eating less because I had less time to eat, was stressed and lost my appetite.
Increased activity level meant the weight fell off.
Husband took me to MAC for a makeup lesson so I revamped my makeup.

I emptied my wardrobe of anything that didn't fit (at the start) and that I was using to hide in. Replaced worn out underwear and tankers.

I literally had five pairs of pants, one pair of jeans, some work clothes and three vest tops. But they all looked better on me. Which marginally improved how I felt about myself.

And I built from there.

Just as one drop of water will erode the cliff, as a PP said, one brick built the Great Wall of china.

Start with something that gives an INSTANT boost, paint your nails....get your brows shaped, anything at all...and build from there.

It will come good.

Focussing just on weight loss is a losing battle ultimately because it takes too long, you stall and plateau and lose motivation. So you need a multifaceted approach which delivers long, medium and short term gratification.

Oh, and I'm 27 too

You can be gorgeous again NOW.
You can be thinner again later.
Stop waiting. Seriously. I used to wait till I was 'gorgeous' again (even though I didn't think I was at the time). I'd buy dresses to slim into. Wear baggy shit because I couldn't be arsed because I thought I'd look crap whatever I wore.
At 39 I managed to kick my eating disorder for good and made the decision to wear it anyway. Whatever it was. I then did a bit of plus size modelling which boosted my confidence no end.

I'm still not thin. I'm a good four stone overweight and I have off days. But mostly, I wear what I like. Sometimes I'm glam. Sometimes I'm scruffy. But I don't wait to be thin.
I go to the gym. Sometimes I eat healthily and sometimes I eat shit. So I'm still fat. However, I also look 10 years younger (so people say) because that fat pads out my face :)
I'll say it again though. I'm not waiting. Enjoy life now. Really.

I've piled on 2 stone since January when my dad died, fat face, horrible rolls of fat where I used to have a waist, eating sugared almonds and sweets have been my go to comfort food, so my teeth will be buggered next!

OP, how do you feel after you have had a big fat takeaway and wine and sweets? Like shit? It is literally only good for the few minutes it takes to eat and them you feel awful. Cook something nice at the weekend and find some competitive exercise you enjoy (badminton/tennis/netball?) and you will soon find that you are less inclined to turn to food that make you feel crap and look crap. I want food to fuel my body and make it feel good and as soon as you start making choices for the right reasons, you will do the same with everything else in your life too. You deserve the good stuff!!

You absolutely can do it if that's what you want, but you don't need to be thin to feel good about yourself.

Just a quick one - if you genuinely feel like your diet and activity levels don't add up with your current weight, make sure you rule out thyroid issues, PCOS etc, especially if you have other symptoms.

I can't advise on weight loss, I have no experience of this. But I do think that you need to find ways to reward yourself, care for yourself and deal with stress that are not linked to food. Being overweight shouldn't preclude you from looking lovely and feeling great. You need to find things that make you feel good about yourself and a self care regime, or a way of rewarding yourself that makes you feel good about yourself. For me its going to bed early with a cup of tea and a book I can't put down. I do this to loose myself and to detach from the stress. I also like spending time day dreaming, walking in the woods, having a massage, going clothes shopping and spending time on my appearance. These things make me feel relaxed, calm, happier and they improve my health and well-being, physically and mentally. I don't need crisps or cake to fill any emotional black hole. So, I think the first place to start is to break your emotional bond with food.

And yes, you can look gorgeous again, not that being thin equal gorgeousness anyway. Otherwise id be the most gorgeous person on the planet.....trust me i am not!

I think you don't need to "think you can be gorgeous again" and better start thinking you ARE gorgeous. Changing the way you think about yourself is honestly the best way to trigger healthy food choices and maintain a polished appearance. Because then you are taking care of your gorgeousness, which is way more positive and rewarding than just forcing yourself to loose weight and getting manicures.

Granted, it is not easy and I wish there was a manual but try reading about body positivity (lots of bloggers out there!) and maybe make a list of what you like about your body? And if you do not know where to start, ask your DP, he will probably have a bunch of ideas. Learn to love these features, you will see you will want to showcase them more and get new clothes/make up/accessories. It also serves as motivation to work out/eat healthy to maintain them! Good luck OP!

I was quite big when I was 27 (after having 2 dc's), I'm now 35 and back to a size 10, I go to the gym most days and eat healthy during the week, eat what I like at the weekends.

I haven't read the whole thread, I notice your drinking protein shakes on top of what you are eating? I only have a portion shake if it's for breakfast (instead of, not as well as) and because I am going to the gym and trying to build muscle which is what they are meant for.

My average day is:
Breakfast - Small bowl of porridge with a banana or a few raspberries.
Snack (only if I have been to the gym)- a piece of fruit or a biscuit.
Lunch - chicken salad
Dinner - salmon, veg and potatoes.
Evening snack - yoghurt.

At the weekend I will sometimes have a take away or eat out, maybe eat a piece of cake

Gym - I go between 3 and 6 times a week for an hour each time (half an hour cardio and half an hour weights), I walk quite a lot too when it's not raining and I have a few active hobbies but I do them less in the winter and spend more time doing nothing.

I feel more attractive and fitter than I did ten years ago. I still don't get my hair done or my nails but that's not something I feel is important. I wear nice clothes but no make up.

Pinkpowerofthought I could have written your post, I'm exactly the same but what I will say is me making the effort to properly dry and straighten my hair and slap a bit of make up on makes the world of difference.

Also having my eyebrows done (tinted and shaped) makes such a difference to how my face looks too

Great yourself to a haircut and colour, some good well fitting underwear, and a manicure. you will feel a thousand times better. Being overweight does not stop you from being gorgeous - I know this because I currently weigh 220lbs and am fucking stunning if you start taking care of yourself in little ways, which you deserve, you will start to take care of yourself in bigger ways too.