To be a bit hurt by this?

[NoSmilesHere]

I probably am, but I'm just feeling a bit hurt.

I work in an office of approx. 12 people. No one socialized out of work but we all get on really well in the office. For the past 3 office birthdays we've had, we've had cake and cards for the person in question.

It's my birthday today and I wasn't expecting a card or cake or anything like that, but I've not had a single person say wishing me a happy birthday. They'll know it is - birthdays came up in conversation on Friday and mine was mentioned, and we're all FB friends - I'm not a big FB user but mine buzzes me whenever it's a birthday for one of my friends.

I know it's not a major issue... I think I'm just feeling down as none of my family has said anything at all, and I've had no cards or anything through the post. I'm just feeling a little unloved.

I've only ever worked in places where the colleagues buy cake for the birthday person, not the birthday person bringing it in. The office I work in currently funds it - i.e. gives 10 pounds to someone in the birthdays team, so they can pop out and get a cake.

It's clear from the OP that this is the way her office works, so would be odd for her to change their office tradition now and buy her own cake.

Sorry OP, I would be hurt by this too. Maybe they have genuinely forgotten?

Ah OP that’s rubbish, maybe they really have forgotten, I’d tell them!

Happy Birthday, OP! Sorry you’re hurt by colleagues seemingly forgetting. Unless something has happened or their horrible people I’m sure they will all feel awful when they remember. In the meantime, get some cake in and try to enjoy your afternoon.

Do you have any plans outside of work? Z

Happy Birthday🎈 🎉🎂🎉🎈

I mention my birthday now, am sure they will pop out and get something at lunch! Probably forgot due to it being straight after the weekend. Did you contribute to previous birthdays?

Happy birthday!

In our office the birthday person brings the cake in, why don't you nip out at lunchtime and get one. (Will make them feel a bit shit for not getting you a card too!)

Happy Birthday by the way!

Every place I've ever worked, you bring cakes in on your birthday.

They forgot, why not remind them and see what happens. Or just remember they are work colleagues, not best buddies so it isn't up to them to make up for the fact your own family don't seem to care.

Happy birthday 🍰 🥂

In most places you do take your own cake/sweets in on your birthday to share. Bit mean they didn’t get you a card though

TBH how would they know it's your birthday, unless HR send out and email reminder or something - which would be a massive breach of Data Protection.
presume? I'd rather hear from the OP how birthdays are generally organised rather than presumptions.

Right in the OP:
"They'll know it is - birthdays came up in conversation on Friday and mine was mentioned, and we're all FB friends - I'm not a big FB user but mine buzzes me whenever it's a birthday for one of my friends."

You're at work so you are obviously not 7 - birthdays really this important to you??

You're at work so you are obviously not 7 - birthdays really this important to you??

What a helpful reply. Only on MN do I see this attitude, the minute you hit adulthood you shouldn't care about your birthday...why not? Life is pretty dull and repetitive for a lot of it, why shouldn't someone celebrate their birthday?

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday OP

The exact same thing happened to me earlier this year. It was my 50th and I was at work, no-one wished me Happy Birthday or acknowledged it in any way, I didn’t have the money to buy any sort of cake for myself, et alone anyone else

A week later it was another lady’s birthday, the staff canteen was decorated for her, ad she got flowers, cards, cakes and presents. At teabreak her and her two cronies sat and ate the cakes, but didn’t offer me anything

Like you I wasn’t looking for presents or cards, but a simple Happy Birthday would have been nice

I did feel hurt, so I totally get how you feel

Nice work, strange!

In the paranoid and anti-social world of Mumsnet, it is normal to assume that teenagers stealing sweets are cutting them with drugs, or that someone having a laugh on ebay is committing some kind of elaborate insurance fraud. Outside of this culture, however, different rules appear to apply. In some modern offices, it appears to be normal to wish one another happy birthday, and perhaps also to celebrate with paper cards, sugary cake, and small gifts simply because it is generally considered a nice and thoughtful thing to do. One can see elements of older rituals of gift-giving here, which bind together the giver and receiver in a network of social ties, which translate into something the Britons call "friendship". Gift-giving, however, still lags behind other cultures like the Chinese, where exchange is considered a critical element in polite social relations of a more casual type.

Happy birthday! I hope you have a great day

Could they maybe be planning on giving it to you after lunch?

Previous poster who said you’re obviously not 7, are birthdays really that important to you... You absolute grumpus! I’m mid thirties and love celebrating my birthday and am always happy and try to make an effort for family, friends and colleagues when it’s their birthday.

It’s irrelevant what the procedure is for birthdays in other workplaces - what’s important is that in your workplace a cake is bought for the birthday person and they haven’t done this for you. I would be upset too if they made a fuss of everyone else but didn’t acknowledge my birthday. YANBU.

FWIW, I’ve worked in places where birthday person buys their own cake and in other places where cake is bought for you. Either way, I would want the same treatment as everyone else.

Happy birthday OP, go and buy yourself something amazingly fattening for lunch and enjoy yourself

Who pays for the cake if not the birthday girl/boy?

I've had loads of jobs and it's always the person whose birthday it is who brings the cake.

Salemslot, I think OP has misunderstood and the reason there's no cake for her birthday is that she didn't bring it, as others have on their birthdays.

Another one who will go with the when it is your birthday you provide the cakes!!

What’s this??? ........ 🤢 .... it’s a pea ...... a’pea birthday
🍰 🎈

Happy birthday 🎁🎉🥂

Go buy a cake and eat it all yourself. 😁

That's rubbish OP!
Similar thing happened on my last birthday, no cake or cards or anything except a little card from one person!
Then I realised it was because it's normally me who either makes or organises cake... and now I feel slightly less inclined to make an effort for other people!

To those that are saying that the birthday person provides the cakes

What if you can’t afford to?

My family don’t really do birthdays but an aunt sent me a £20 gift card with the instruction to “buy yourself something nice”

I had to use it to buy food for the DC and me otherwise we’d have had no food at all for the two weeks til next payday

So no cake at all for me, not even a 40p doughring from the Baker next door to work

It's not compulsory zukiecat. I quite often don't bother because TBH I'd rather not have the fuss.

The standard of cakes varies anyway based on what people want/can afford to spend and no-one blinks. Sometimes it's posh cream cakes, sometimes a bag of Tesco cookies, sometimes a box of Roses, or nothing.

If you have a collection to buy cakes and you can't afford to put in, that's far more awkward IMO