Probably am but...

[shitrainbows]

I don’t even care. (Fully prepared to be told that I am and interested to hear opinions- h nice posting in AIBU)

I’ve been so down lately and it’s not getting better so...I’m taking the week off work and having some time.I’m taking time to get my house in order and get on top of the chores, time to prepare fun stuff for the DC to do when they get home from school, time to prepare nice meals, time to look after and be kind to myself and sit watching Tv or reading with a cup of tea and blanket in my pyjamas.

I feel bad that I’m going to be letting my colleagues down but I really need this time to get myself better.

Now what the hell do I tell my boss? I’m due in tomorrow and the rest of the week.

Also, how your colleagues feel has got nothing to do with it and sometimes you just need to put yourself and your health first. So do not feel guilty about taking this time.

Do you think it is normal to be crying at tiny things and struggling to get up in the mornings? Is it normal for you?

If not then there is a reasonable chance you are suffering with depression.

The cure for depression is NOT to disengage from your normal activities...which can do far more damage than good.

What will you really do at home all day? My guess would be sit and cry and spend ages wondering why everything is on top of you and you are so hopeless at coping. This is of course nonsense...but its what I would do if I took a day off when feeling very low...

And a day spent feeling useless and like you've let your colleagues down will leave you so very much lower than if you had gone into work.

On the flip side, if you spend the day doing things you enjoy, seeing people who make you feel more upbeat then it won't be wasted!

if you are in the UK, you can self-certify for 7 days/ 1 week.

I don't see the difference between physical or mental illness here.

I have done this for 1-2 days if i really need it.

I think it's perfectly ok for you to take this week off as sick leave
You've identified you're feeling poorly MH wise and you're taking positive action to see if you can self improve this week. I think your plans for this week when off are very sensible. Self help and self care at it's finest.
You can self cert for the first 7 days so no gp appointment or consultation is needed
If you still don't feel too good after the 7 days then speak to your gp to see if you would benefit from another few weeks

being poorly from MH is just as a valid reason to be off than if you had a physical illness
If you had flu we would be telling you to rest up, drink plenty of fluids, etc etc
Your mh has taken a dip & you're sensibly taking this week too see if some self care can help

I don't see the problem?????

Sickness bug.

Some other contagious illness.

Have a nice week and enjoy!!

Do you not need a doctors note to take a week off sick?

Why don’t you just book a weeks holiday. Otherwise I think you need to go to the docs for a sick note at least.

Doctors often won;t give a note until you've been off a week (unless you pay) you can self certificate for the first 7 days

a doc note is not required to be off sick for a week
Self cert covers a week

Ah, ok,,,thanks

@Morphene No this isn’t normal for me at all. I’m not sure that I’m depressed though- I’ve never really thought about it as I have nothing in particular to be depressed about. Although I guess sometimes there isn’t a reason for it. I will have a look at the nhs website for signs and symptoms.

I struggle to get up and get going but I have been getting up and getting the DC to school and myself to work I just feel a bit empty, deflated and vacant. I just feel like I’m ‘winging’ it. I said to my DP that I’m not quite sure how I got through last week. I’ve been out for the morning window shopping and it’s been ok but I’ve come home now to sit down and relax before the school run. I’d go to bed if I could though. I’m so tired that my eyes are stinging!?

I think perhaps I will start by having a day or 2 off work and see how I feel. Hopefully after that I will feel a bit better.

Thank you for the advice and opinions so far.

Interestingly, I came on here wondering the same thing. There's been a lot of stress recently as a family member is ill, and after a pretty horrific weekend (I got about 3 hours sleep last night), I rang in sick today with a "stomach virus". We have a 48h rule so I have the option of taking tomorrow off too.

I feel guilty, although there's noone who will end up picking up the slack, as I'm the manager. I work in an emotionally demanding job and there's no way I have the emotional resilience today. Ironically for the field I work in, I don't have the kind of relationship with my boss where I can say this, so I'd rather not.

I've spent most of today asleep so far, and plan making a big batch of soup this evening to keep me going until I am back up to full energy again.

op Its good you are taking a look at the symptoms. If you are feeling very low for a specific reason then that isn't depression - that's a normal response to bereavement or being made redundant or getting divorced or whatever has happened to you. Depression is feeling low for extended periods of time, such that it is interfering with your life (eg. making you skip work!) in the absence of a recent provoking external circumstance.

This isn't to say that depression isn't precipitated by life events...it certainly can be in many cases, but it is to say that the response to those events results in mood disorder rather than recovery.

I am not explaining myself well today!

The point is that it is perfectly possible to fall into depression when there is apparently nothing awful going on in your life.

It is a cyclic reinforcing disorder in which feeling low causes you to disengage from fun activities and everyday interactions, which plunges your mood even lower.....

It is characterized by avoidance behaviour...doing things because you are avoiding other things...not going out with friends because you 'don't feel up to it'....doing lots of busy work to avoid being alone with your thoughts...and endless self-critical rumination when you ARE alone with your thoughts.

The pathway to recovery lies in re-engaging. Fighting the inner voice saying you would feel better if you stayed in bed (you might in the short term but certainly NOT in the long term), and getting out amongst people and the things you enjoy in life.

btw, I'm not saying you definitely should go to work - it really depends on whats happening with you and I can't tell that from here!

But if you DO take time off, use it constructively to recover - go to the GP, use the time to actively build your mental reserves by spending time on things you enjoy and beneficial interactions with people.

Don;t allow it to be a further disengagement, or a chance to slip further down the depression spiral by spending all day feeling guilty about your co-workers or navel gazing about how you wish you were coping better....

You sound like me. I feel really overwhelmed with things lately. Spent all day today food shopping, cleaning the house etc whilst dc were in school and feel a bit better for it. I hate this time of year too, I know by January I'll be really down. I personally don't think you're being unreasonable, sometimes it does all get a bit much. I'd go to your docs and maybe get signed off for a week. Or take emergency annual leave if you can? It's so much easier, even with all the publicity/ awareness around it, for other people to understand a physical illness than a mental one.

I'd go to the GP and get short term supply of sleeping pills, take a few days off, let work know how stressed you are.

You need to see the GP to cover your back.

Then hopefully you'll be able to think properly about long term strategies.

If you feel like you need to 'recharge' then by all means do so. You're no good to your employer if you're exhausted, not focussed, etc.
Just make sure you find ways to recharge in everyday life after these few days off.

If you’re tired and want to get on top of house stuff, take annual leave.

Some of my colleagues do this for similar reasons. General tiredness, behind on personal admin. It’s great having to manage my own stresses, job, house, as well as picking up their work every time they are off work chilling.

Thinking about it I was really struggling after a death and work let me take days off as annual leave if I had a teary one.

Can you speak properly to your boss?

I won't judge you. You must be at the end of your tether. If you do take week off however, make sure you use it wisely and do all that you said you'll do. Otherwise you'll only feel worse the following week. See your GP if you're feeling overwhelmed

@MistressDeeCee I think perhaps I was being OTT this morning when I posted about taking the whole week off (everything seems much worse in the morning!) I think I may take a day or 2 to hopefully get myself feeling a bit better and see how I go from there. I don’t want to sit around crying I just want some time to recharge. Funnily enough I’ve been feeling achy since this afternoon with a headache, achy neck and earache so not 100% physically either.

@lookatyourwatchnow I do feel bad for my colleagues but to be completely honest all the week at work I was pretty useless and just did the bare minimum which made me feel even worse about things. I’m going to take a day or 2 and just be honest with my boss and hope she will be understand.