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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed by FB likes?

21 replies

YorkshirePud35 · 12/11/2017 22:28

The dreaded FB again.

My H works away sometimes and a few months back he had a ONS whilst working away. Trying to put this behind us and trying to trust him again.

A couple of weeks back I had a bad, insecure day and snooped through his phone to find a few messages from a very pretty woman he works with. They were just friendly messages which mentioned how she was on his next work trip away for 4 days.

I had a look at her FB page and noticed how he 'liked' everyone of her selfies, but coincidentally didn't like any of her with her DH. H is now on a trip with her and a few others and just seen a pic of them all together with their arms around each other and he is stood next to her, of all the ones to stand next to.

I feel really annoyed at the minute.

OP posts:
WhatwouldAryado · 12/11/2017 22:31

He doesn't sound very committed to your marriage. What a sleaze.

Ilovelampandchair · 12/11/2017 22:31

I'm sorry to tell you that A man that has a ONS when away with work is unlikely to have done it just the once. You clearly don't trust him. Probably with good reason. I would personally keep snooping till I conformed my fears or had enough information to trust him.

NancyDonahue · 12/11/2017 22:57

Did he confess about the ONS or did you find out?

LadyDeLaFuente · 13/11/2017 00:23

I wouldn't like that one bit. People can argue til the cows come home that, in this case, he hasn't done anything wrong - just liked a few photos - but I personally think it's a lack of respect unless she's a good friend or he is just generally trigger happy with the like button (towards men and women).
Probably nothing has happened but I wouldn't be surprised if he fancied her and he should be making you feel secure after his ONS, not liking women's pics for all to see!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 13/11/2017 00:28

FB likes aren't the problem here; your husband is.

snotandbothered · 13/11/2017 00:40

Sorry OP. At the very least fancies her, which can't be helped, but he is happy for her to know he fancies her, which equates to testing the water.

ahhhsalmonskinroll · 13/11/2017 02:36

Bloody hell. Get rid of him op. You can’t spend your life like this. He sounds like a pig. Messaging women on fb after a ONS? Absolute sleaze.
He doesn’t have to cheat on you again for you to end it you know. You can just be done, because you’re done.

GreyTree · 13/11/2017 05:38

Sorry OP bit I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. I think your relationship with him is coming to an end. Have some respect for yourself and get rid.

YorkshirePud35 · 13/11/2017 06:28

I didn't think it was just me being paranoid then, he seems to fancy her.

He doesn't like things very often on FB, doesn't even click like on any of my selfies that I put on.

Her page isn't private so I can see every pic he has liked and they're all of her on her own.

OP posts:
YorkshirePud35 · 13/11/2017 06:30

Nancy yes he did confess because he thought he'd caught something.

Apparently I should be honoured he confessed 😡

OP posts:
InfiniteSheldon · 13/11/2017 06:35

Put a comment under a pic he's liked saying oh you've only liked species how strange should I be worrued as you are away together for four days?. Game players like things to be secret don't accept secrets not even flirting and you stand a chance of changing the way he views you.

InfiniteSheldon · 13/11/2017 06:43

Selfies not species!!

Ohffsmalcom · 13/11/2017 06:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IHaveAnOutie · 13/11/2017 12:35

Sorry, but it sounds like he only confessed because he had to (re: STD tests). He doesn’t sound very trustworthy. I imagine there are more ONS that he’s not told you about, but he had the decency (!) to wear condoms the other times.

Caulk · 13/11/2017 12:37

Talk to him.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 13/11/2017 12:45

OP, is this a relationship you’d want for your daughter/niece or friend? Does he build you up, respect and support you? Life is too short and you won’t get any time back. Think long and hard about where you see your future x

mumofthemonsters808 · 13/11/2017 12:48

Does she like a lot of his pictures ?, only fbook liking tends to work on a I like your stuff you like mine back basis.

toolonglurking · 13/11/2017 15:46

Get out now, he sounds like a player and like he only confessed to that ONS because he had to. I'd put money on there being more ONS that he hasn't admitted to.
Sorry.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 13/11/2017 15:50

Put a comment under a pic he's liked saying oh you've only liked species how strange should I be worrued as you are away together for four days?. Game players like things to be secret don't accept secrets not even flirting and you stand a chance of changing the way he views you

Why would you even suggest stirring up trouble in his collegues marraige? What ridiculous world do you orbit?

snash12 · 13/11/2017 16:56

You H sounds very untrustworthy.

RemainOptimistic · 13/11/2017 17:02

I love that the shagging is totally fine but liking selfies isn't Hmm

What are you getting out of this living arrangement?

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