Childcare - taking the piss or not?!

[user1485166754]

Couple I know through friends went to Ibiza on a boozy holiday this summer (they are aged between 40-55). They have a DS who the grandparents look after frequently (i.e.
Most weekends). Parents both work so in the school holidays the grandparents take holidays from their jobs to take turns looking after DS. Grandparents wanted a holiday on one of the weeks that they were scheduled to look after child so they took him abroad as they would have had him stay over each night at their house anyway. So my AIBU is - if you were the parents of the boy - would you feel massively cheeky to use a week of your annual leave to then book an adults only holiday to Ibiza with friends for that week when you could have gone with the grandparents and had a family holiday with you DS?!

So the grandparents planned and booked a holiday with their GCs, and the parents were left to their own devices and thought they would take the opportunity to spend some childfree time with their own friends, instead of going with the GPs and GCs?

I don't blame them in the slightest, I'm jealous! My DCs are 2 and 5 and I don't have any regular help from family, but if my family were willing (and more importantly able, which they are sadly not these days) to take the kids away with them I would love the opportunity to keep up my own connections with DH and old friends and feel like a person not-just-a-mum for the first time in nearly six years.

But kind of means that if they are using annual leave for Ibiza then they don't have enough left and GPs had to take more for rest of summer holidays

You could not pay me to have a 'family holiday' with either my parents or in-laws. Like, no amount of money in the world would make me ever do it. I love my mum and stepdad, but nope (and in-laws we are nc with anyway, but even if not, nope). None of us enjoy spending huge chunks of time together and we would all be miserable and never agree on what we wanted to do as we live very different lives with very different interests and lifestyles. I think it's lovely though for grandparents to spend so much time with a child (mine wish they could spend more time with ours but they live overseas). If they were happy with that arrangement, then I don't see the problem. Adult time away is so rare and so is one-on-one time with grandparents, so why not? When my family visits a few times a year, they have one-on-one time with our dd either just for the evening or overnight/for a weekend, and we go away. It's wonderful and we all enjoy it. If it works for them, great. I don't think it's cheeky unless someone is unhappy with it.

Yes they are selfish and cheeky. The fact their holiday seems to have been a surprise to the GP makes it an even bigger piss take. Regardless of GP agreement it’s really selfish to go on a week long holiday without your DC. Out of interest have they taken their DC abroad on holiday this year?

Sounds great to me!

**ZoeWashburne

Unless you are the grandparents or the couple, it’s none of your business.

You have no idea of what goes on in their relationship and it has no affect on you.**

Oh for goodness sake get a grip! OP just wants opinions not this “none of your business” bollocks.

My eldest would happily live with his grandparents and visa versa. tbh if he was the only child I could see gp wanting him that amount. We had stand up fight with mil as she wanted my eldest to stay fri night to Sunday every weekend when I worked ft.

I remember staying with gp every weekend growing up

I think it is a shame for their child, if they are working why don't they want to be with ds. Gp at great but dc need their parents time.
They sound like they are completely checked out to me and there is no excuse for that.
I suspect you know they have op and that is the source of your discomfort.

At - are

Zebra - no hey haven't - when they were telling us they said "well it's not like he's not getting a holiday this year"

A lot of grandparents feel bad for saying no to having their grandchildren so go along with it to make the child's parents happy. Trust me, I have experience of this.
I would definitely not be going on a separate holiday if my parents had my child. No way!

Greende17 “Oh for goodness sake get a grip! OP just wants opinions not this “none of your business” bollocks.“

Saying ‘it’s none of your business’, IS an opinion. We don’t know what’s going on in their family, nor any of the specifics. This just screams nosey neighbour peering out through the blinds wanting validation to pass judgement.

There are a million reasons this is perfectly valid. There are a million reasons they could be the biggest CF on the planet. There is no way we, or the OP, could possibly know.

I feel sorry for their DS. How old is their DS? Is he old enough to understand his parents won’t take a week off in the summer holidays to spend time with him but they are happy to take time off to go abroad without him?

Zebra - he is 6

Definitely old enough to understand.

If the grandparents would have preferred to go on holiday without the boy but took him as a favor to his parents to cover school holidays then it's a tad cheeky of them to have booked their own holiday. However if the GPs wanted to take him on holiday anyhow then it's totally fine

We're the grandparents incapable of saying 'no, we can't have him this week because we're abroad'? I'm not sure why this is all on the parents. I'm also not sure why the parents aren't allowed to have a child free holiday without being judged for it.

Ugh. *were

I really wish posts could be edited when autocorrect is being silly.