To feel rejected by my mother?

[FairyOnTheChristmasTree]

Short story is my mother who I live with married her Albanian boyfriend who she met over the internet just months after they met. He asked her and I believe he was only after a visa. He has eventually got the visa and has been over in Manchester living with us for 3 days now. He is the most arrogant, nasty piece of work you are likely to find but my mother is blindly in love and is treating me so badly alongside him. Basically now his family and him comes first and she does not care at all it seems about her own family yet each time I talk about moving out into my own place she says I would never do it even though I have a well paid job and I'm fiercely independant. I think she is just controlling. I am looking to move out now, disown them both and get on with making my life nice again but of course it takes time.

Today I was let out of work early and have just got home. The living room curtains were drawn and the door locked and bolted so it was obvious what they were up to. I know I'm probably reacting on this count but I feel uncomfortable that my mother and this dog are doing it all over the house where I spend my time. The second is I when my mother opened the door and saw it was me she said 'what the f**k are you doing home?' nastily when she knows I usually come home early when business is dead which is almost every day these days.

I'm posting daily about the problems I have with her but I really was at breaking point. Now, with the support of mumsnetters, I am making my life better and working on getting away from these grade A wan*ers but if I don't rant and bottle it up it will make me burst with anger and upset. Thanks for 'listening'

Do you hsve childcare needs that make it easier to stay with your mum. If not, then soon as you can, leave. If you want to be really vindictive towards this man, then phone immigration anonomously.

Oh fairy another crappy day, so sorry, rant away my love xx

Fairy, grown up children aren't supposed to live with their parents. She is entitled to her privacy, however stomach churning that though might be. And you are entitled to have your own life, you will both be happier when you are out of her space and have somewhere you can call your own.

depends what culture, grown up children live with their parents in many parts of the world, its we who are odd really!

it does sound as though your mother needs some space though fairy. when the inevitable happens (and I only say that because I have seen so many of these sort of marriages fall apart), she will doubtless need you, so the less you wind each other up now, the better.
it is completely miserable sharing a house with a couple who are shagging like rabbits.

and you know wotzaname, it was going great too. I even enjoyed work today and had a nice lunch. It was great then soon as I get home I want to sleep and not wake up again.

And both of you gscrym and carmenere are right. I do need to move out and I certainly am. I've moved out before to live with my friend when I was 18 and it was great but she called me up every night telling me to come home and eventually I gave in. I'm definately leaving soon as I got somewhere. I am excited to be able to look forward to a new start somewhere.

just look at is as another reason to make you want to go.

Good luck Fairy. I've been following your story but never posted before.