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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be worried that my 12 year old dd has read 'How to build a girl' by Caitlin Moran?

59 replies

ProofBy1nduction · 12/11/2017 07:55

My DD, almost 13, reads everything which is brilliant. She loves reading and has read most of my suggestions so far - the 'Anne of Green Gables' series, the Hungar Games, Malory Towers etc.

As she has got a bit older she has been reading more mature books for example the Adrian Mole books, and more recently 'We are all completely beside ourselves' by Karen Joy Fowler (which I was also a bit uncomfortable about.)

Last night I went to say goodnight and she said she had almost finished 'How to build a girl' by Caitlin Moran, and that it had a few weird bits in but everytime one came up she just swiped quickly through the pages.

I had downloaded the 'The Smart Girls' Guide to Growing Up' for her and I think she must have thought this was the same. Our kindles are linked so she has access to all the books that I have read which I had thought to be OK.

Anyway having skimmed over the book ( I read it a few years ago) it is riddled with talk of sex, periods, masturbating etc! I have had a sleepless night worrying about it.

Would you be worried about this? Do you censor your child's reading heavily?

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ProofBy1nduction · 12/11/2017 08:21

She is not my first but my eldest DS has not interest in reading anything whatsover (despite bribery, begging)

To be clear - of course she has had sex education! It is not the sex that bother me - it is the language and the context. The book is great but maybe be alarming for a 12 year old who is completely inexperienced in these matters.

Then again maybe it is a more realistic education that the sugar coated nonsense she is getting from other media sources.

Re The Hungar Games - I agree it is grim BertrandRussell.

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Sketchily · 12/11/2017 08:30

I absolutely bloody love Caitlin Moran. She’s a great role model in so many ways. The book teaches girls about being true to themselves, not to be obsesssed about looks, to like guys who are interesting and kind rather than cool and mean, to study hard. All of this and somehow making it cool to be like this. I might even get my boys to read it!

The only thing I might be a bit concerned about is the drugs. But I’m sure you can talk about that with her and it might be a good way of introducing the topic. I’d ask her what she thinks about the book, what she’s learnt, anything she doesn’t like in the book, what she thinks is positive etc.

BitOutOfPractice · 12/11/2017 08:30

You’re worried about your nearly 13yo reading about periods? Quite apart from the fact that she could easily have started them herself, what’s so awake-all-Night-worrying about a 12yo girl (it boy for that matter) reading about them?

As for the other stuff, I think you need a reality check about what your dd hearsxat school. She’s in year 8? I’d much prefer she read CM’s words in these matters than some misinformed 12yo.

MonkeyJumping · 12/11/2017 08:30

I've read it - agree the language is a bit adult, it sounds like she's just skimmed over anything she was uncomfortable with. Maybe just mention to her today that it's quite an open book and let her know she can ask you if there was anything she found confusing or had questions about.

I wouldn't worry.

Trills · 12/11/2017 08:35

to like guys who are interesting and kind rather than cool and mean

I love the bits where "Pete from Melody Maker" comes round and makes pasta while wearing cardigans and listens to her talk about her dramatic love life.

Lovely Pete.

ProofBy1nduction · 12/11/2017 08:37

BItOutofPractice - have you read the book? As I have said several times it is the context the subjects are talked about in I am worried about in, not the content itself.
The book is hilarious - the account of the girls' first period and the family dog running off with her sanitory towel to lick the blood off it is very funny but maybe a but much for a 12 year old.
Maybe not - I am glad everyone thinks it is fine beleive me.

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ProofBy1nduction · 12/11/2017 08:38

Apologies for typos

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OliviaBenson · 12/11/2017 08:40

Why is the dog bit abit much? I think you need to look at your thought process here.

ProofBy1nduction · 12/11/2017 08:41

Actually the bit with the dog might be from 'How to build a woman'....

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Sketchily · 12/11/2017 08:42

Trills Pete is lovely, isn’t he. I hope my boys turn out like him. Wish he’d write a companion book for boys.

dancinfeet · 12/11/2017 08:49

I remember reading the entire Flowers In The Attic series when I was about ten, and Philippa Gregory's Wideacre when I was around 11. I learnt a lot from Judy Blume's Deenie book when I was around 9 or 10 - and than was aimed at young teens, so I don't think this sort of content in teen literature is anything new.

ProofBy1nduction · 12/11/2017 08:50

Pete is lovely I agree.

I think we are all getting muddled with 'How to be a Woman' though.
I am going to re-read both I think as they are so funny.

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LostInTheTunnelOfGoats · 12/11/2017 08:54

Well, if the girl with the dog nicking her sanitary towel was having her first period, then she was probably only about 12 herself Grin

I think it's fine. So much happen to girls this age and it just isn't spoken about.

My mum wouldn't let me read fucking Mizz at that age, but didn't seem to notice that I was reading James Herberts...

becotide · 12/11/2017 09:01

I would be far more worried about her reading chick flicky books where everything is fine as long as she gets married at the end.

Caitlin Moran is rude, she's not harmful or objectionable and her attitudes will shape a powerful young woman who won't take any patriarchal nonsense.

Trills · 12/11/2017 09:09

Oh I think we are getting muddled!

How to Be a Woman is the memoir/feminism/Pete in cuddly jumpers/bad musicians/every day you don't have something the size of a cat stuck in your cervix is a good day/etc.

How to Build a Girl is a story that is supposedly fiction (but clearly has a lot of her life in it).

I think you should give her the one she hasn't read, if she enjoyed the one she did read.

ProofBy1nduction · 12/11/2017 09:39

Ha Trills - I think I will.
I certainly feel much better so thank you very much for the replies. I think my inherent but mostly subdued prudishness got the better of me last night.

Caitlin Moran is rude, she's not harmful or objectionable and her attitudes will shape a powerful young woman who won't take any patriarchal nonsense

Becotide - that's is a brilliant thing to say. I hope you are right.

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C8H10N4O2 · 12/11/2017 09:51

As others have said - at rising 13 she will have likely already read much worse and at least Moran presents a positive image of women.

The Hunger Games has far more to worry about in terms of imagery.

roconnell · 12/11/2017 09:57

There's nothing in this book that she won't have heard before, I shouldn't think. It's not the best, but it's not the worst idea. No harm done. I'd be glad that she'd managed to get some reading on feminism done. Buy her Girl Up by Laura Bates, similar overall message but more appropriate for her age.

bridgetreilly · 12/11/2017 10:15

Let her read anything and everything she wants, OP. If she's not really ready for it, she'll skim or stop. And it's the safest way I know of starting to encounter more adult ways of thinking and living.

GrandDesespoir · 12/11/2017 10:20

But Caitlyn Moran i wouldnt be worried at all as long as she's on the mature side, had her period ect..

Does it really make a difference what her womb and ovaries are doing? Surely it's emotional maturity that's relevant, not whether she has started her periods.

Migraleve · 12/11/2017 10:24

And this is why we should check the content BEFORE our DC read the book. Seriously, it’s not difficult.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 12/11/2017 10:24

Fear of Flying at 13. So CM's better written memoir would be fine for me.

girlwhowearsglasses · 12/11/2017 10:29

Interesting. Am honking about what I should give 11yo DS to read for balance and a good perspective on gender politics. School has Hunger Games on its eco Mme fed reading list and now I’m thinking it might not have been ideal! He loves audiobooks and has Adrian Mole which I love, but what Sale it there that is coming from this direction for boys? He’s not going to want to read CM - though I don’t mind in a few years.

girlwhowearsglasses · 12/11/2017 10:30

Eco Mme fed? iPhone fail. That’s ‘recommended’ to human beings

ProofBy1nduction · 12/11/2017 10:44

Microleve - read my OP again.

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