How much screen time do your children under 12 get?

[Pikachuwithyourmouthclosed]

Screens are the cause of 99% of the arguments in our house. I'm obviously getting it wrong.

I'm interested to know how much yours are allowed on screens, and how you manage it?

I have 3 children aged 6, 9 and 12.

We have one tv and they have an x-box attached to that, the 12 yr old has a phone, and they have 2 DS thingies.

They don't go on screens Monday to Friday morning.

Friday afternoon is a free-for-all once we get in from activities at 5ish and they usually play Minecraft together for a couple of hours.

Saturday morning they get up early and watch Youtube videos.
The rest of Saturday and all of Sunday they want to spend on screens but often we have other things to do.

I'm getting a lot of flack from them - apparently I'm too strict and I "arbitrarily" say no when there's no good reason why they can't go on screens. I don't like fighting with them about this. I suspect I might be a bit unrealistic. But if I give them an inch they take a mile - it's really hard to compromise and find a middle ground when what they want is unlimited access to all screens, all day every day. And they're so bloody grumpy after being on screens - really unpleasant and unkind to each other.

This afternoon ds sobbed and sobbed because I said no to playing a video game. I just didn't see the need - the sun was shining, we were all out in the garden, dh had tied up some hammocks and rigged up an old swing. We were having a nice time outside. Except of course, we weren't. Ds was having a miserable time, and would much rather have been inside playing Spore.

How do you do it?

30 mins week days
I hour weekends, or a film on one day and nothing the other day

If she wanted to use my iPhone or her tablet she might get 45 mins of it was more active and learning related

That said we do use the TV more- we do children’s exercise videos off YouTube and use it for music a lot as well as having news or E4 on in the background. Now trying to use the radio more instead.

I don’t restrict my 12 year old (almost 13). Other than when it has to be off for bed time. He is home educated so we use the laptop for that but as for free time, he can use his iPad and consoles when he wants. He doesn’t choose to do it all day every day though because he’s knows it’s always there. He’ll go out and play in the garden sometimes, he’ll play board games with me or build things with his Lego. He never watches tv, he’s just not interested in that, except when we watch a movie together. He uses his iPad to FaceTime and text his dad (we’re separated). We sometimes play console games together. His screens don’t rule his life, there’s no conflict over it. He has his iPad in his room overnight listening to relaxing music and is fast asleep before I go to sleep and it all works just fine.

As much as they want. I really don’t care.

They can learn from a screen you know - fine motor skills, problem solving, words, songs, colours.

My girls are 16 and 13 and share a bedroom where they have a smart tv with access to you tube and Netflix and a dvd player. They also have smart phones.

Ds is 10 and has a smart tv in his bedroom with access to you tube and Netflix, an xbox 360 and an xbox one. He has a hand me down smart phone. He also has a tablet which he uses for games, you tube and Netflix.

None of them have restrictions such.

The girls are in high school and are left to manage their time. They always get their homework done, go to bed when tired and get up as soon as their alarm goes off for school.

Technology for ds is a life line. At present he cannot go outside to play or call for friends as he can't walk far and is unsteady on his feet. He therefore plays online a lot with friends from school. He is on a phased return to school, going two hours in the afternoons. So the only restriction he has really is that he must be downstairs by 7.30pm on a weeknight but is allowed to watch his tablet. Once I have set up his feed at around 9.30pm he goes to bed (sleeps with me at the moment due to his overnight feed). If he's tired it's lights out otherwise I let him have half hour of tv while I read.

DCs 8 and 10, half an hour a day each on kindle or wii. Ad hoc time on laptop for learning websites like prodigy (they are home educated).

TV isn't limited at all really except that we don't put it on in the mornings during the week

Mine are 4 and 2. Pretty much unlimited tv, which is probably way too much, but they do wander off if they're bored.

IPad time is a big infrequent treat, maybe an hour every fortnight or so. It turns them into devil children, so they don't have it. They're a bit young for games consoles, they don't know they exist yet!

Mine can have screen time in the morning IF they are completely ready (but no Xbox ).
No limits the rest of the week, but evenings are jam packed with clubs, so not a huge amount of free time.
Weekends are a problem -we are normally busy on Saturday (football, shopping, visiting family) but on Sundays its a nightmare trying to get DS (8) to do ANYTHING other than Xbox. DDs (11) screen use is more subtle, but she has whatsapp beeping away constantly on her phone and is getting very teenagery !

Totally agree with LouBlue on this - I won't be putting a limit of TV for my DD. The more restrictions you put on something the more appealing it is. I've worked with children for many years and found that children who have TV restricted at home are glued to it, those who are used to the TV take notice and continue in their play.

I’m sorry but that’s bullshit. If you have TV on in the background it interferes with speech development and social interaction. If from day one you never make screens a big factor in family life they don’t become fixated, they just learn other ways of entertaining themselves. They don’t go over the top when given access, in fact mine complain about how much their friends are on screens during play dates.

There are a lot of studies to show screen time is correlated with anxiety, lower educational achievement etc. I can’t understand why any family would allow unlimited access. As with all child rearing consistency if the key.

Anoneemouses, my ds has no limits, but he is actually doing quite well educationally. One of the comment I got from the teacher at parents eve was about his extensive vocabulary and skill to use them in his work. A lot of it actually came from playing games, but also from reading a lot.
Having no limits doesn't make a child glued to the screen.

I don’t think I’m too strict. No screens in the morning until fully washed, dressed, fed and ready to go. DD is a faffer and takes ages to get ready so she never has any spare time for screens before school anyway.

Evenings after school are fine for screens but only after homework has been done. We do have a few clubs during the week so she doesn’t get loads of time on screens then.

No screens allowed during meals as it’s a real bug bear of mine.

Friday & Saturday nights she is allowed a dvd at bedtime. She looks forward to this as it’s not allowed the rest of the week. She has a small tv/dvd combo in her room but she knows that if I catch her using it on a school night it will be removed for a week (only had to do this once and she’s never tried it again).

She has a Nintendo DS that she rarely plays, an iPad that she uses sometimes - mainly to watch YouTube videos. Her big thing at the moment is using DH’s laptop to play online games (Animal Jam, starstable and something called transfermice). So long as she still does other things in her spare time and isn’t on the computer all day, I don’t mind too much.

I have one DD age 11. We have 1 TV, 1PC, 1 tablet, 1 smart phone and 1 Nintendo DS.

DD has never been allowed screen time Monday to Friday mornings. In the evening DD watches TV or Netflix for 1 or 2 hours and plays on her phone or tablet for about 15 minutes. We usually go out most of the day on Saturday so we only watch TV or Netflix in the evening. On Sunday she's allowed as much screen time as she likes, so quite a few hours.

Mine don't go to school, but tend to have an hour in the morning while we all wake up and I have a coffee, maybe another half hour or so after lunch if we are at home, then some in the evening perhaps. That's cbeebies or skateboarding, horse riding or whatever on YouTube. Not games etc.

Same at the weekend, we tend to be out and about a lot so they don't binge.

They're 7 and 5.

Mine are 7,9 and 11.

we have 1 hour of screen time in the evening (if homework etc finished), whilst I'm cooking dinner. This is usually TV, computer, ipad or DS. Sometimes if there is something good on telly we might all watch that together later on, but that is rare, and additional to their 1 hour.

X box is normally kept for the weekends due to the issues about getting to a certain point in the game where you have to save it. Sometimes I might be convinced to let them go on it during the week on special occasions or promises that it WILL go off after 1 hour...usually on the week where they are going to their dad's at the weekend (no xbox at dads)

At weekends they have screens etc for a bit longer than a hour. Not hugely longer- normally no xbox/screens before 4.30/5 unless friends have come around in which case they always want to play fifa etc which is fine. Maybe 2 hours tops. Again, if something good is on TV e.g. strictly we'll all watch that together, again it's additional. Or maybe a DVD, again that's extra.

The ipad does get used a bit more than just at screen time. The eldest 2 listen to podcasts/radio on it but they know that if they are caught playing about on it they will lose that privilege so they tend to behave. They also sometimes use apps at the weekend eg to make their own stop motion animations. I don't class that as 'screen time' either.

I've become less stressed about screens as the kids are pretty good at sticking to the rules. The kids seem to be co-operative on games (most of the time!), or sometimes one child will be watching/'helping' another child play a game, and when we watch anything together there is loads of discussion.

We have 1 TV and a PS4 my oldest (14) has a smartphone. We have a couple of
Laptops but the kids only use those for homework occasionally when necessary. We also have 2 iPads, but no one has even charged them in months. No screen time in the mornings before school - never have so they don't ask. And all screens go off at 9pm every day (this includes the 14 year old's iPhone) - although we may allow longer at the weekend if the kids stay up to watch a film with us. I don't allow any screen time for my kids under age 3 and never have - the research suggests it has no benefits below that age. Apart from these basic rules, I put no restrictions on TV use apart from the fact all homework, music practice etc needs to be done and the TV is only on if someone is watching something specific, we don't have it on in the background all the time. The PS4 causes more trouble and I have to limit, which is on an ad hoc basis. I know I am more strict than some, but they still watch tons of fucking TV...

I have a 6 and 9 year old. We never have screens on weekday mornings but after school, they do like to watch a film usually on Tuesdays and Fridays. The other days they have after school activities. Weekend mornings they like to watch some telly, maybe an hour and we watch strictly as a family on Saturday nights. If it’s raining they like to play on the wii together. That’s just generally, sometimes it’s more, sometimes less depending on weather, seeing friends etc I am only militant about no screen in the mornings before school!

We have been a family who have none during the week. We have been a family where we then try and control it to an hour or two hours and I have to police it. We have tried saying ok: kids you manage your time: they were on it 24/7, homework going in late. It's all a nightmare. But be the parent. If you think something is wrong, too much, stick to it. My kids all say EVERYONE had way more on line time. My retort is "so what" and by the way, I know they don't as I have checked it out with other parents. Be the parent. Do you what you think is right.

@pengggwn here are a few studies. Not the best as I don’t have time to find the many I read that convinced me that it’s just not a lifestyle I want for my family. There is loads of research out there but some is quite flawed as it sets out to find problems with screen time. I wanted really objective evidence. There is some evidence that in older children certain types of screen time, limited, can be educationally beneficial, not least because understanding IT is intrinsic to career success for the younger generations. So a total ban seems unwise once they are older. In younger children there is virtually no benefit unless it stops,the parents going mad and that impacting on the kids’ social development!

screen time linked to speech delay

screen time linked to problems reading emotions

screen time linked to lack of achievement, bullying and lack of physical activity

Can't see the bit where it says having a tv on affects speech?? And it says it has no impact on other social interaction

I’ve put the Kidslox app on my 7yo’s iPad. It’s great because I can control his iPad from my phone (mwahahahaha!). You can set up a very detailed schedule for access, turning off WiFi at particular times or locking down apps or even the whole device.

It’s made a huge difference to us because we sat together with him and agreed the schedule so he was invested in the process. He knows that it’s fair and because the lock down/cut off time is automatic we don’t have to say “time is up” and have the angst of that conversation. He just accepts that screen time is done.

We don’t own a TV, we watch catch up on our computer, so rolling TV isn’t ever an issue for us.

We have a no tech rule on school mornings. They can go on after school but must be off an hour before bed. Between activities, baths, homework etc it's not that long most days. Weekends are more relaxed. My dd's are pretty good at self regulating and take or leave it. My ds is the only reason we have any limits but he has other stuff going on.

I have only one under 12 now, dd age 8 but I never placed any restrictions on screens with any of my 5. If homework is done and they are not doing anything else of import they are free to do whatever they want. If the youngest seems to be watching TV or on the tablet for a long time i will suggest she does something else for a while. No big deal.

No screens in the morning, like PP said never have so it wouldn't even occurr to them to ask. They normally watch tv when I'm cooking dinner during the week. Weekends they might watch a film. No phones (8&10) & occasionally tjey ask to borrow my ipad to look up pugs or craft ideas. They also sometimes do about 20 mins each of a maths game the school asks them to do as homework but as it's a game they love it! That's it really