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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give this Christmas Gift

25 replies

guessmyusername · 11/11/2017 23:00

to my DB & SIL. To put into context I don't really like them as my DB is a taker (always has been!). For so many years now I have given them reasonable gifts and what I have got back is just so cheap. One year we got a packet of pot purri (when dd was little and I couldn't put it out or she would eat it!). The year before last we got a bag of jelly babies. Last year we got a box of biscuits that I saw in the supermarket for £3. My sister & other brother both got the same! My mum always said to us that it was always the thought that counted and you don't give to get back. But I have had enough.

My brother is not poor. My sister and I had a discussion last christmas that we were going to regift the box of biscuits back to them this year. But we realised they would be out of date and therefore a bit petty.

I have been trying to think outside the box about a suitable gift for them this year and had the inspiration that I could do one of those charity gifts, like a goat or a couple of chickens, or a water well and put it in their name, with a card explaining the gift to be opened on christmas morning. My dd thinks I have lost the plot!

What do you think?

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 11/11/2017 23:02

I think I would find the same biscuits and buy those, or a packet of jelly babies. Totally reflect what they give. Easy. Don't spend over £3.

RJnomore1 · 11/11/2017 23:04

I'd go bottle of lambrini personally.

Betsy86 · 11/11/2017 23:06

Just buy a £3 box of biscuits. I need to do the same for some people but always get guilt pangs and buy more then feel irritated at myself after for doing so ha x

Betsy86 · 11/11/2017 23:06

Lambrini?? Pfffft shloer more like lol

WishingOnABar · 11/11/2017 23:08

A bottle? No no no. A boxed wine will be much better Grin
In all seriousness they obviously don’t want to make much effort so I would just respond in kind with a box of biscuits / chocs from a pound shop. Now you have one less person to worry about buying for

ShatnersBassoon · 11/11/2017 23:08

They obviously prefer to give a small token gift, so follow their lead and do the same.

RJnomore1 · 11/11/2017 23:09

Acht

Shloer is £1.10 in Asda
Lambrini original is £1.78

I'd be the bigger person 😂

Imalloutofoptions · 11/11/2017 23:11

Wrap up a single Celebration chocolate a la Nessa from Gavin & Stacey?

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 11/11/2017 23:20

My mum always said to us that it was always the thought that counted and you don't give to get back

I agree with your Mum I’m afraid!
However...it is the thought that counts and with presents such as these the only thought is “I’ll get this because it’s cheap”, regardless of wether the receiver likes it or not.

Go with the goat gift, it’s charitable and thoughtful Grin

LovingLola · 11/11/2017 23:25

I would give nothing. And make no excuses.

R2G · 11/11/2017 23:29

I don't understand why people get wound up like this. Just give them a similar gift and don't think any more about it. You and your other sister can carry on spoiling each other.

justilou1 · 11/11/2017 23:34

Just return the thought - Shitty cheap candles are great for that. Especially if they have small kids.

PinkHeart5914 · 11/11/2017 23:36

I do absolutely agree it is the thought that counts but where is the thought in a £3 box of biscuits? I could understand it if they were your all time favourite biscuits but I’m assuming there not.

I’d buy him a £3 box of jelly Babies this year, I’d wrap them in really lovely paper/bow/gift tag so he thought something great was inside and I’d enjoy seeing his face

Autumnskiesarelovely · 11/11/2017 23:36

I don’t understand why you’ve continued to give reasonable gifts? I haven’t been able to give nice gifts to some relations, and I hate it when they keep giving me better ones. I honestly just only get big gifts for a small number of people, then have about 30 more who expect a gift too! Biscuits it usually is...

Gifts are meant to help relationships. Do you get on with them?

Ilovelampandchair · 11/11/2017 23:38

Just send a fresh box of biscuits. That's clearly the level of gift they are comfortable with.

MumW · 11/11/2017 23:42

Pair of socks - so cliché but oh so I couldn't be bothered.

expatinscotland · 11/11/2017 23:45

I'd go with those Maryland biscuits that are about 70p a roll. You could really push the boat out and buy one for each!

guessmyusername · 11/11/2017 23:56

Oh Dear! So many boxes of biscuits. And I really wanted to get a goat or a pair of chickens.

OP posts:
GothAndTired · 12/11/2017 00:03

Get the goat!

Chottie · 12/11/2017 00:15

Please buy a 'support a charity' present on their behalf. There are loads of suggestions from Oxfam.

www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped/grow-vegetables/pile-of-poo-ou1007ml?intcmp=ou-home-product-pile-of-poo

WishingOnABar · 12/11/2017 00:17

Oh Chottie thank you so much. You have just helped me tick off at least three people on my gift list

MrsMoastyToasty · 12/11/2017 00:29

Or do what my MIL used to do and give us the items she'd won in the weekly raffle at her local community hall bingo session. Complete with the raffle ticket on top.

Lostinspaceoutatsea · 12/11/2017 02:00

Get them a freddo each.

guessmyusername · 12/11/2017 21:57

Chottie I was very tempted with the pile of poo but thought that was a bit too obvious! I thought the chickens or goat was a bit more subtle or thoughtful.

OP posts:
Mxyzptlk · 12/11/2017 22:02

With a card saying "Dear Brother, you get my goat."? Grin

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