How close are you to your siblings and parents?

[Acrosstheuniverse123]

I wonder. I have a difficult relationship with my family which causes me a lot of grief. I long for loving, close relationships but instead have a distant and strained relationship with my siblings and my mother. Father is dead. I wish I had the sort of relationship where I could pick up the phone when I have a problem and chat. It really upsets me.

Really close to my mum, see her two or three times a week. Not as close to my dad but still have frequent contact, get on well with my brothers as long as don't see them too often

I was close to my Gran and one aunt and a couple of uncles, but since they died I am no contact with my family. They're nothing but trouble.
I dont miss them at all, life has got a lot easier now they aren't in it.
But I have good relationships with my kids and some other distant family members by marriage.

What's stopping you OP?

Trigger Warning:
I have a very tricky relationship with my family. My DSis and I are close and our children really love each other. But we both have a very difficult relationship with my DM. She’s very controlling and interferes in the way I bring up my DDs. We also have difficulty coming to terms with how she failed to protect us from being abused by our father. She says she didn’t know, which we have no reason not to believe, but she was too busy with work to notice us most of the time.

It’s also tricky with my DB. He has serious MH issues, probably because of our childhood. He was abused as well, but he also abused us. So I don’t want him in our house right now; there’s too much water under the bridge. It’s horrible and I feel awful about it, but I need to look after myself and my DDs right now.

parents dead
siblings estranged - one deliberately, one more due to location
it's a bit sad really, but I am lucky enough to have friends from school who provide some of the grounding and shared memories you get from family

we see PILs at least weekly. sometimes they do my nut a bit, as I'm not used to a close family relationship, but they are fundamentally good people who care a lot for DH, the DC and me.

Not at all close to my immediate family. I see my mum most days for practical reasons, but she is emotionally unavailable and holds me at arm's length. The rest are not part of my life - distant in every sense although they're more keen to keep up the sporadic contact than I am.

I'm closer to an aunt and a couple of my cousins than I am to parents and siblings.

V close to MOST of my sisters. So so close to my mum. My siblings would die for me, and I for them. Even though we might fight and argue (not with my mum - I adore her)'

But I realise I am so so lucky

Excellent relationship with both my parents and my sister. I'd trust all 3 of them to the ends of the earth.

I also have an excellent relationship with my DHs family, especially my MIL. They are all so good to me and I enjoy their company.

My parents are dead which means I no longer get abusive phone calls and guilt-laden demands for my time or access to my children. My brother has been warned not to contact me again or a restraining order will be put in place. My FIL has Aspergergers, but my SMIL is the one who remembers birthdays and sends cards, etc. (He's odd, but his heart is in the right place.) My MIL is living nearly 4000km away and that's great.

My family (Husband, three kids) is very close! We are also very close to some cousins, a couple of uncles and an aunty. So while we are not as closely related as immediate family, we all genuinely like and support each other.

Very. All live within ten minutes walk of one another. We are very lucky.

In contrast OH's parents and children live in different countries, however they keep in contact via Skype / message etc regularly.

Siblings - We get on great at parties but neither particularly like me. I always wanted to be close, like on tv, but we never were. They get on great though I think. For some reason I didn't even speak to my brother properly until I was about 16. He never seemed interested because I was more like my Dad (his stepdad) and my Sister was more like him and my Mum.

My brother is 18yrs older than me yet acts 18yrs younger - is almost 50 and only just now holding down his 2nd ever 'proper' job.

My sister is difficult, she has the worst traits of both our parents but is also lovely sometimes too, so it's a bit hit and miss. She bullied, belittled and generally made my life shit as a kid and worse as teenagers. She made me want to be adopted of for my parents to ship me off to boarding school. She lives 6hrs away now so we get on a lot better.

My Mother can be funny, giving but never really kind though, not to me. Everything is a backhanded compliment. She thinks the sun shines out of my brother's now probably wrinkly backside and he can do no wrong (as she had him at 17yrs old so doted on him her entire life). Until you pay attention you'd think she was perfect. I only realised recently she wasn't and has never said sorry for anything whenever she is wrong and can actually be quite cruel.

My Dad has now basically become a recluse obsessed with his daily schedule and meal planning. Retirement has made his temper worse than it ever was, and even now in my 30's I have blazing rows with him because he is so agressive, dismissive and always has to be right. He was a lovely Dad until I was about 7 when I started to answer back and realised he wasn't so lovely after all.

I still see my parents and my brother several times a week. Now I'm thinking maybe I need to scale that back quite considerably because I dont enjoy it or particularly like them now I come to think of it.

I'm crying now typing this, I really wish I had a close family. But I think we just all hate each other but stay in contact because my Mum would guilt us to death.

When she's gone I doubt we'll bother to see each other beyond the funeral. Though I think my brother is likely to die before her so who knows.

Not at all virtually n/c with my mum for the last few years as I basically gave up trying to have a relationship that she wasn't interested in having. She always favoured my sibling and kept me at arm's length. I speak to my dad on the phone maybe twice a year and we haven't seen each other in 6 years but he's a nice person and I'm always happy when we do speak. I have one sibling who does their own thing really and doesn't seem interested in the rest of the family. I do get upset about it especially at Christmas now I have children but it pushes me to make more effort with my children.

My father died long ago. I feel duty bound to support my aged mother and have empathy for the struggle she faced raising us as a widow.
I’m not close to my siblings but I live very different life to them. We meet up every few months but it’s forced. My husband is closer to his family and I probably am too. I get on really well with his twin, unsurprisingly.
We have a very close and supportive network of friends.

The same as yourself. My father has passed away too and he was lovely. Things have got worse since he died :(

I decided that my husband and children are what matters now and that is where my energy goes. No point at all in flogging a dead horse.

Very close to my dad and have contact almost every day even if just a text to check in with each other. I support and help him whenever and however I can,
My mum is in a care home and not compos mentis but previously we were very close and had lots of frequent contact. I still visit her regularly but she doesn’t know who I am any more. It’s very upsetting but I still love her and care very much about her welfare.
I have one sibling - we have had no contact for 10 years. I am not sad about this and have no regrets about being non-contact. We are very different personalities with polar opposite interests; values; lifestyles and beliefs.
My sibling has sporadic contact with my parents, i know my dad certainly doesn’t feel they are close.

What's stopping me... my sister doesn't like speaking on the phone. So texts and whats app suffice. My mother hurts and upsets me at every turn and has never been there for me. According to my sister, I upset her too, but all i do is try to help her and try to bite my tongue, but my sister has always been the favourite . It feels like they are ranged against me, looking for things to criticise, and back each other up in their poor opinion of me. Feels like i can't win. That sounds a bit paranoid, I know, but it's true.