To not let him go?

[Takamine]

DS has been invited to a cinema party next week - to see a film that we have arranged with family to go and see in the Christmas holidays. He's 7. I don't want him to go as I feel it will take the shine off our Christmas treat ....

Would IBU to retract his party acceptance?

Let him go. It's a shame to make him miss put especially as treats are thin on the ground and you can't guarantee Paddington will still be on.

Let him go

It's your 'shine' you are worried about not his.

He should go to the party. you child shouldnt be punished because you are skint,

Let him go, it's mean to stop him attending a party because the activity is one you want to take credit for.

Given its early November the film is likely to have been and gone by Christmas as a number of new releases are scheduled for that period.

I would let him go. I think it would be extremely mean of you to make him miss out with his friends just because you are skint and it might take the "shine" off when you go.
Let the poor boy go and have fun with his friends. He will still have fun when you all go, kids love the cinema.
YABU

In some ways, you're suggesting he misses out on a treat now because he will be getting less 'treats' over Christmas....

I wouldn't worry about it op. Its a fair way off and films are always better second time round. Or go see something else. I'm sure you will all have a lovely day even if he has seen it before.

Things that take the shine off things for adults are rarely the same things that'll do it for kids. Hopefully if he enjoys it it will even add to excitement.

Well you're not going to make this Christmas special by not letting him go to a party with his friends for what are generally selfish reasons

YABU, sorry. I’m sure he’ll be fine watching it twice, or alternatively pick another film to watch as a family.

YABU, let him go

Can't you arrange to see a different film as a family?

Our cinema is an odeon, and Paddington is only showing this week, after that it is stopping for something else which launches next weekend. I imagine there will be some other viewings shoved in there somewhere but there is absolutely no way it will still be on by Christmas. Added to which it already only has a 3.5 rating so chances are that they'll push it aside fairly rapidly for the bigger films.

I agree let him go and then see something else with him as the treat.

Tbf I think you’re overthinking because you’re doing less this year - there is really no need.

Kids like repetition. How many times have you had to read the same bedtime story? Seeing something twice doesn't spoil a film for them. Adults like surprises, but kids often enjoy the anticipation of knowing what comes next more than the surprise. if he enjoys it the first time, it'll be even better second time round.

And it's really mean to make him miss a party.

Let him go to the party. It seems mean to stop him going so you can all see it for the first time together. He won’t mind seeing it twice at that age. Or you can go and see something else in December as your family treat. Do you realise how daft it is to stop him doing so thing fun with his friends which costs you nothing because you are skint and doing less than normal. If you don’t let him go, he will be doing even less than he could iykwim.

Let him go.
There will be other family movies released before Christmas.

Let him go I wouldn't deny my dd8 something like this, the classmates are going to be going on about it before and after. Don't purposefully make him feel left out and what will he say to his friends when they ask why he isn't allowed to go?

You don’t have to spend lots of money to make Christmas special for children. It’s the adult in us that thinks that. Despite all the material things around us, children can still be pleased with simple things, and you can do lots of free or relatively cheap things during the Christmas season to make it special for your child. The important thing is that you create a happy, relaxed, loving, fun atmosphere, rather than spending lots of money. So, pick any film to see in the cinema-but being with the extended family is what will make it special for your son (I think devising that as a festive treat was a great idea, by the way.) Curling up on the sofa as a family to watch a film or dvd together-minus phones/ipads etc, so that you are really watching it!- that can be special too. A long winter walk with a relatively inexpensive hot chocolate at the end can be a special treat, as can just walking through a busy town or city where the windows are nicely decorated and the atmosphere is “christmassey” or even something as simple as baking something “festive” (simple biscuits using Christmas cutters, fairy cakes iced and decorated with edible Christmas-themed sugar decorations) and eating them together afterwards,etc. There are lots of things you can do which your child will enjoy and remember. You don’t have to spend lots of money- just get into the spirit yourself and it’ll rub off on your child. Happy, loving, laughing family time spent together doing whatever is what will make your child happy, rather than the money spent on things. Oh, and please let him go to the film with his friends! It’s the experience of the company rather than the experience of the film which he’ll remember best in time to come.

I think you’d be very selfish to deny him the joy of a party with his pals in favour of your own entertainment aims.

Im going to assume that boy is not going to that party with the responses, and now lack of them

I hate seeing the same film twice. My kids otoh relish seeing them again.
The extra magic at Christmas will not compensate for missing a party.

And I agree that you can do lots of free/inexpensive magical things to make Christmas special. You just have to get creative. Perhaps start a new thread for ideas.

Let him go. It's an additional treat for him, and he will be fine seeing it again with the family. It will take the shine off for you - but it's something nice for him.

Yes you would be VU.

It’s only a film. He can see it twice.
Or pick another film.

Thank you for your replies - I need to get myself in check it seems!

This Christmas is becoming such a source of anxiety that I'm obviously over thinking everything.

Thank you for the suggestions of how to keep it special - I will save them all ready for December