To be upset with my dentist?

[copperpangate]

Sorry this is a bit boring but it’s a genuine dilemma.

I have terrible teeth. Have had multiple crowns, implants, removals and root canals since I was in my late teens. I have been told that my teeth are some of the worst ever seen of my age. 10 years ago I found a very talented dentist who basically saved my teeth (gave me a good fifteen years extra of my own teeth rather than falsies.) I’m currently 32. This was verified when I had a dental emergency on holiday and went to see a dentist who took X-rays and told me that my other dentist had done an amazing job.

My dentist is not nhs but private (nhs recommended falsies) and I’d say over the years I have paid him thousands, probably about 25 thousand over ten years, a good proportion of my salary going to dental work. And there is still stuff to do, but it is less urgent. None of this is cosmetic by the way, it’s all essential.

I have also recommended various people to him who are now his clients, including DH.

I visit him once every couple of months anyway to have some maintenance done or see the hygienist - we’re on first name terms.

Yet for some reason he is always pushing me to forge ahead with my treatment plan. I’m not sure if it’s him who does this or his secretary who has been given the double job of doing his marketing and is constantly emailing trying to get me to come in.

As someone who has such regular, expensive work done on her teeth, has not spent much time out of the dentist chair in the last 10 years, and endures all the pain and discomfort of it - plus a gazillion X-rays, even if I have a whole list of treatments still to do (there are two removals and about 6 fillings left that I am saving up for) if I am not in pain, surely I can choose when I next go in for them?

I accept that my teeth are terrible and that there will always be a shopping list of fillings and adjustments to be made, but surely he can have some sympathy for that and accept that I need to save the money to afford it, take my time and relish a month when I do not have to endure the discomfort of dental treatment?

I get weekly emails and phonecalls from the secretary which - bizarrely enough - sound almost reproachful that i have not yet booked in for my next filling.

I am really confused about why they don’t see things from my perspective. He has told me himself that my teeth are some of the worst he’s seen of a person my age. He has responded to emergencies of mine where I have been writhing around in pain and he’s had a to pull teeth out from an abscess. I’ve been a loyal customer, I have given him thousands, and I actually feel like I’ve been through a lot with him.

So when I get badgered about the next treatment it really upsets me. I realise that he has to make money (I certainly feel like i’ve given him plenty and brought him new clients) but surely dentists should have a similar ethos to doctors in that they understand the emotional response some patients will have to a lot of intervention?

AIBU to be upset and should I write him an email?

[MissConductUS]

Write him. Dentists here go to seminars on how to grow their practices and this is the kind of thing they teach them. Just tell him nicely that the upselling has become overwhelming and that if he feels you need to finish your treatment plan that quickly you'll simply find another practice that is okay with you taking your time with it.

I feel your pain by the way. My teeth have been a constant bother and I recently finished a two year prosthodontic restoration that cost me $60k and then I needed 3 implants.😾

[Spock25]

I know how this feels, I’m living in America at the moment and the dentists here love squeezing every possible dime out of you. It’s a really hard one! Because at the end of the day, cavities only get bigger etc and maybe they feel like they need to keep on top of you so that it doesn’t get worse. I’m sure he just wants the best possible outcome for you as you’ve endured a lot and he’s put a lot of work in. Maybe just kindly say to your dentist/the secretary that you are well aware of the treatment that needs to be carried out, you will do it in your own time and do not need to be reminded every 5 minutes about it. Say you’ll get in touch when you’re in a position to pay for the next round of treatment. It’s a shame they don’t have any payment plans? My dentist is currently breathing down my neck about getting my wisdom teeth taken out and it’s pissing me off. Sorry that I can’t just drop a few thousand dollars to get this done straight away 🙄🙄

[IceBearRocks]

Both me and my brother are petrified of dentists having been sexually assaulted as children
.... By our family dentists.....

[MissConductUS]

breathing down my neck about getting my wisdom teeth taken out and it’s pissing me off.

Have your dentist's office email you the radiographs that show your wisdom teeth, then ring around to a few other dentists and get their fees and offer them the RG's. I did this over the summer with DS (who had two very easy extractions and 2 that were somewhat more difficult) and the difference between the highest and lowest fees was $1,500. If your dentist won't match a lower fee have someone else do the extractions. We had them done by someone not his regular dentist and it was fine.

I mean really, if they're going to turn into salespeople we need to be smart shoppers.

[nikkylou]

Without having something booked in, they may be worried you'll stop going or forget (unlikely what with the constant reminders!!). Either say you have every intention of continuing, let them know the reminders are bugging you and you'll continue when you're ready. Or simply book your next work in for a few months time , so it's in the calendar and they don't need to pester you but you've got your time to relax and save