to buy my son some facewash or at least make him wash!

[catweasel44]

DS1 is 11. He never washes. If I'm lucky I can force him to have a shower once or twice a week. I have made the odd comment that his hair smells

He hasn't started to smell too bad just yet but I'm sure it won't be long. However his face is starting to become spotty across his nose and cheeks. More blackheads than spots. However I'm pretty sure it's due to the muck rather than proper acne.

How is one supposed to approach these things. Leave it until he's conscious of it? Wait until the wallpaper starts to peel of of its own accord due to the smell.

Will I just give him a complex?

DS2 has a half hour shower on a daily basis so I think this is child specific.

He's 11 so just tell him to wash his face. Don't say anything about looks/spots etc, just say it's important to wash and make him (ask for a big kiss every time he comes out of shower/bathroom to "check" indirectly?) and if he hasn't, insist that he goes back to wash.

If you're lucky?
Washing isn't optional.
He needs to shower or wash every day. No discussion.

Really? I certainly don’t think children NEED to shower or have a bath every day.

But he could be cleaner.

I just tell my DS's that they stink and to go take a shower! DS1 (11yo)'s hair smells like a wet dog if he doesn't do a proper job so it's easy to tell if he hasn't done a proper job.

DS2 just smells worse than DS1 despite being a few years away from puberty, but he's young enough to do as he's told without as much protest as his bigger brother :D

I have a 13yr old who is similar. He does sports training 3 mornings and has a shower. I've bought him deodorant, shower gel and face wash. I encourage him to use these all at home and have a bath the nights he isn't getting a shower. He's also recently got a brace so I make sure he brushes his teeth properly. I think they won't wash if they can get away with it but if you get him some grown up toiletries then he might be more willing. In a few yrs we'll probably be nagging them to get out the bathroom lol xxx

Every day is a bit overkill until they reach puberty IMO, mine go every other day.

He will soon be a stinky teen.
Young children and babies absolutely don't need to bathe each day.
Teenagers and adults do.
Once a week for an 11 year old is pretty grim. How often does he exercise?

Not necessary to shower everyday, especially in winter but washing face/hands is a must imo. It's just good habit too, when they're teenagers it's hard to make them, so need to teach them earlier.

YANBU.

He'll soon be reaching the point where daily bathing is entirely necessary, if he hasn't already. He isn't 4.

You need to teach him some basic personal hygiene. It's not fair on the other kids at school.

My DS is also 11, he does sports training 4 times a week plus a match and came to me a few weeks back after training and said “Mum, I smell like meat & potato pie”, I had a good sniff and he did stink.

We went out and bought his own face wash, shower gel, deodorant etc and now he doesn’t even need telling to go for a shower, he does it twice a day without prompting. He’s very proud of his collection of toiletries on the side of the bath.

I have two teenagers, a boy and a girl, and neither ever had a problem with daily showers. We have always made it part of their after dinner routine.

I think you really need to put your foot down on this. Kids that age can be really mean and if he smells bad or is visibly dirty he's going to get teased about it without mercy. It will also reflect poorly on you as parents in the eyes of the school.

Mulberry brought up a good point - get him his own shower products, even let him pick out the ones he wants. That will give him some sense of ownership of the process.

DS1 is 12 and has reached this point; he does a lot of sports, too, so showers daily. I'm sure it'd be too much for others but for him it's necessary.

Dove soap bars reduce the amount he sweats (thank you S&B Board on MN for that life lesson) and Liz Earle's hot cloth cleanser does a men's version - I took DS1 to John Lewis where a stunningly lovely woman gave him a little facial and taught him how to use it. If I'd done it myself he'd have ignored me forever but because someone else taught him he uses it daily and takes pride in his appearance more than I thought he would.

OMG this is us! DS1 has a couple of pimples no blackheads nothing much really but lord his hair can smell and his ears get so wavy! I have to carefully monitor the number of boxer shorts that make the to the dirty washing basket. Its a battle to persuade him to shower although he does seem more amenable straight after a match - when the Adrenalin is high. This is way harder than when he was little. Trying hard not to make an issue out of it but Keen he doesn’t become me the smelly kid at school too!

Could you buy some facial wipes. They're quick and easy.

You're the Mum, just tell him he should shower! If not every day then set days in the week.

Kids need direction, boundaries and help with personal hygiene.

Showers don't take long at all. Or it shouldn't. I wouldn't let a child shower for half an hour either, in my mind, that's too wasteful.

The only cure for spots, well there are two (a) sunshine holiday and sea water (b) swimming and chlorine.

(b) is the cheaper option

It has the added advantage of giving them a good old disinfect at the same time.

Option (c) is when hygiene and personal grooming arrives and option (c) is ... The Girlfriend

I wish you well OP, I remember those days. mingers

DS has ASD and it is hard hard work to get him to wash. We found a product that will work partially despite not being used daily!! That the best I can hope for!! He was rather blackheady but looks lots better. NOt perfect. He only uses it when ordered back to the bathroom reminded.
Its nip and fab face scrub the glycolic fix that he uses in the shower and the pads at night. I would rather he wash it but he won't.

Some kids are easier than others @caffelatte100 !

Facial wipes don't really get the skin clean though they would be better than nothing I guess.

Facial wash, in the shower, at the end of the day, takes 30 seconds or less.

Once he gets a girlfriend you'll be begging for relief from the overpowering smells of Lynx shower gel & body spray wafting through the house.

I would try facial wipes. I don't like washing my face, I just don't like how it feels. So I use a soft washcloth which does feel okay.

It's true DON"T!

But just say that showers are now compulsory and not optional. Build into the daily routine.

What about smelly feet, that will start soon as well right?! (My son's 13, not smelly at the moment) but I'm sure he will be soon.

Speaking as someone who had bad personal hygiene as a kid/teen due to depression and parents who didn't bother making me - it is so hard to get back into good habits once you've got into bad ones. And the other kids will bully him mercilessly if this gets too bad.

I'd make him shower every other day till the teen years then everyday. As others have said, taking him out to choose his own stuff might be an encouragement. You don't need to make a big deal of it or say he stinks, just say as we get older we sweat more, our faces get oilier and we need to wash more often. Just state the facts, no need to be personal.

Oh dear God the feet.

Sooooo not envy!
Seriously start the routine of regular washing/showering now. Otherwise in a couple of years when he's done PE on a hot day and wearing polyester then you will REALLY regret it!

Really? I certainly don’t think children NEED to shower or have a bath every day.

You’ll feel differently in a few years

Showers aren’t optional in this house. It’s part of earning screen time.