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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like a hypocrite if I take the money

69 replies

RuggerHug · 10/11/2017 00:59

I was dismissed/let go from my job earlier this year. I only started in the company last year and was on a 6 month probation. I was recommended for the job by a friend of mine. This company have a scheme where if you recommend someone and they pass the probation period you get a lump sum. My friend and I knew this because we made jokes about splitting the money and what we would do with it. At the end of 5 months he said to me outside work I had obviously passed as they paid him this 'bonus' amount. I then found out I was pregnant. I had previously thought based on my medical history that this wouldn't be possible. A surprise but a very happy one. I told my manager. Then my probation review kept getting pushed out. When it finally happened I was told there wasn't a job for me but 'it's nothing to do with you being pregnant, our maternity policy is crap anyway'. I was told to leave straight away but they would pay me for the month.

I filed a complaint with the commission here and our case is on Monday. The company is now offering me a 'not our fault,say nothing,drop it' severance amount. The amount they have offered is an insult but I really don't want to have to sit opposite my former manager and go through how much they have screwed me over. Tbh if they offered an apology for the stress and a decent reference for my work I would be ok but part of me is tempted to take the money to not have to face them.

Would it be awful of me to do it since they will have 'bought me off when it isn't about the money or has anyone been through this and known what the best thing to do is?

OP posts:
RB68 · 13/11/2017 11:13

Good Luck - they were def trying it on. Fingers crossed for a following wind and a nice little windfall. Most references aren't worth the paper they were written on anyway - ie worked her x to y, no of sick days and that's it.

Let us know how you got on.

Buscake · 13/11/2017 11:14

Good luck! Don’t let the bastards grind you down Flowers

Redpony1 · 13/11/2017 11:23

Good luck Flowers

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 13/11/2017 11:47

Good luck Flowers

jerrysbellyhangslikejelly · 13/11/2017 11:53

Good luck OP. Sounds like you might be in Ireland and the WRC take even a whiff of discrimination on grounds of pregnancy/family status very seriously. I hope you get a good outcome.

Allthebestnamesareused · 13/11/2017 12:24

There is no upper limit to a a payment when the claim is discrimination. I hope you have a decent award to help you through your maternity period and beyond.

You should not feel like a hypocrite at all. They should feel like the wankers they are!

mcdog · 13/11/2017 13:50

How did it go???

LoveProsecco · 13/11/2017 13:52

Hope it went well

DarkPeakScouter · 13/11/2017 13:56

Fingers crossed

strangeEvents · 13/11/2017 14:01

So you didn't pass probation but somehow feel hard done by?

What have I missed? That it's clearly sexism because you're a woman?

Tapandgo · 13/11/2017 14:44

Good luck - outrageous sex discrimination

RuggerHug · 13/11/2017 15:19

I honestly don't know how it went, they have to go off and make a decision. Company claimed it was a performance issue as I hadn't stuck to the objectives of them. I had mails from my review meeting showing I had, company claimed as policy is no personal emails I had breached as I sent my sister one about my hen (literally a 'I'm in work and you're not, can you ring and book this please'). I said I had but there was no mention of that and I hadn't had a leaving meeting to discuss any other issues they may have had. They said I never responded to emails in work about anything, which I had but obviously can't access that address now. They said the payment to my friends when I passed was due to him when I got the interview but they delayed it by 6 months by accident. Adjudicator said I should have been offered to have someone in review meeting with me, should have been told that was what they could do and saying that other people haven't been let go doesn't count as they were on permanent contracts. They said they had never had any complaints about me, I did all the training they asked, extra work. They allowed me have a phone on my desk on silent when I had a relative in palliative care so they believe they have been generous.

I honestly don't know how they will get on saying I never responded when I know I did to anything they asked but I can't prove it. Have to wait until it's looked at but I don't know. Commission know they offered me money to cancel the meeting so that may influence things.

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 14/11/2017 00:13

It's always hard to tell how these things have gone. The judge/mediator has to remain neutral so they listen and it's unnerving for you because you look for affirmation from them.

They have to prove you didn't reply to the email. If you said you did reply give timeframe and demand evidence that your sent items doesn't include a reply. If they do come back it will be to say you didn't answer timely which blows their argument out of the water. You replied. If it wasn't timely they should have bloody said something in your review.

LoveProsecco · 14/11/2017 01:00

Well done on getting through it. Have they advised of timescales?

Hissy · 14/11/2017 07:44

Bollocks do they pay a referral fee for interviews!!! That’s SO open for abuse! Nobody in their right mind would have that as a policy!

MimiDeLaSun · 14/11/2017 07:50

Good luck with the outcome x

hiddenmnetter · 14/11/2017 11:46

GET LEGAL ADVICE.

Pregnancy is a protected characteristic and you are eligible for an UNCAPPED payout.

I don't know the law well enough to give clear advice but if you can establish that your failing your probation period is on the basis of pregnancy you can get a lot more than 1 years pay. The fact that they had already paid your friend is a good indicator that they were going to pass you prior to your becoming pregnant. Do not rush into this.

Get legal advice ASAP.

GlitteryFluff · 11/12/2017 12:16

What was the outcome op? Hope you got what you were owed.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 11/12/2017 12:38

What have you got to lose? Go for it!

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