To ask have you ever done something for someone who could never pay you back?

[Midge1978]

This quote was on twitter today: “you haven’t lived until you’ve done something for someone who can never pay you back”

I work with children so I guess I kind of do that everyday. Teach them, encourage them, empower them and none of them will ever remember! Does anyone else feel that they’ve done this in their lives?

I often give to people where I can. Last week I bought a house for a family in Africa after theirs burnt to the ground and the widow and 4 children were left home less

I’m an early years teacher so no they don’t remember! But I know it made a difference.

Lovely examples here. They don’t have to be grand gestures to be beautifully selfless!

Last week I cleaned my friend's house with her- she has MH conditions and is a hoarder (I think) and a compulsive shopper too. I have been offering for years and she finally agreed/asked me to help. She won't pay me back as such because there's nothing to repay. She needs it and I don't. But it's not an entirely selfless act because 1) I love cleaning and 2) I love helping people, so I got something from it too.

Doing something like that carries it's own reward though, doesn't it? And that is not a bad thing.

It's important to be able to think of yourself as a basically decent human being.

My friend did. She gave up weeks of her life with her DH and DC to come half way round the world with me for a treatment that has saved my life.
She is truly amazing.

There was a homeless guy outside Sainsburys a few weeks ago with his dog. They were cuddled up together under a blanket, sound asleep. I popped into Sainsburys and got the guy some food and some dog treats for the dog. I put them next to them for when the woke up (with the reciept just in case anyone said he had stolen them or something).

I once shared the last of my weed with a skint mate. A friend in need is a friend indeed, a friend with weed is better.

If It's your job it doesn't count. I target giving where I remain anonymous as I Don't want the thanks.

'If It's your job it doesn't count.'

Says who? I doubt the medics who work in A&E are doing it because they expect thanks from everyone they treat.

TBH I don't really think if it in those terms. If I can do a favour for someone I do it. Whether they can 'pay me back' or not is a not irrelevant and not worth the effort of making mental calculations.

I’ve posted money through friends doors anonymously before, several times actually.

I paid a young boy's library book fine yesterday, as he had lost a book and clearly wasn't going to afford to replace it, and wouldn't be able use his card until it was paid off. He was delighted and so was the librarian. Better to help someone than hinder them in life.

Maybe not the same but after dp lost his job due to a breakdown my parents bought him a load of driving lessons. He passed his test and went on to get a better job. They point blank refused anything other than a drive to visit them after.

I like to think we're a pretty kind family raising kind DCs.

It's wrong to advertise or brag about it, though. The act of being kind is it's own reward and if you need to photograph yourself giving a homeless person food and post it on social media, you're making a bit more about you than about the person you're being kind to. It's not about paying back but paying forward; I had times when DS1 was very small and his Dad and I split up when it was a choice between a paying a bill or buying food and people helped us out. Paying it forward means making sure now I'm in a better position that I do the same for others. Those acts of kindness can stay with a person for a long time.

So glad to see that people can be so kind.

I was walking earlier and passed three people, two elderly and one a bit younger just standing there by a row of cottages. I got a spidey feeling that something was wrong but was on the other side of the road. I took a deep breath, as you never know what's going on! And asked in a raised voice if they needed any help.

The younger person, in her 50's I'd reckon said yes please. So I went over and the Dad was having some kind of attack. Anyway their house was two cottages down the street. I took the shopping bags and deposited them at their door, and asked if they needed assistance. Elderly mum was OK, so me and daughter helped Dad down to the house. They had help after that.

I know it wasn't much, but it made me feel good and didn't cost me a penny either, not that I would have minded that.

Charity is not all about giving money to beggars or conglomerates is it?

I hope you don't think I am polishing my halo or anything, just something that happened today.

I paid a young boy's library book fine yesterday, as he had lost a book and clearly wasn't going to afford to replace it, and wouldn't be able use his card until it was paid off. He was delighted and so was the librarian. Better to help someone than hinder them in life.

I love this!

Yes, but personally if I tell anyone about it then I feel I'm not doing it without getting anything back

35 years ago my kitten was dying and I had to get her to the vet for (yet) another appointment while they tried to keep her going. I was able to leave work fractionally early so I could get the early bus and get home, pick up the kitten and then get to the vet. I worked near Oxford Street and got on the bus at a very crowded stop. I only had a £20 note which the driver refused to take. I refused to get off. After a few minutes an old man made his way to the front and paid my fare. I tried to get his address, to give him the £20 note, he refused all of it. So every time I caught the bus home, if someone hadn't got the right change and the driver was going to kick them off, I paid their fare. I have never forgotten that old man, even though I know he was doing it because he just wanted the bloody bus to move, he paid my fare at a time I really needed it, so I was happy to keep doing it for others.

I don't think those are my only acts of random kindness. I'm sure most of us do those sort of things all the time; we just don't pay attention to it. The people we help, they notice. That's enough; no need to go trumpeting it around.

@Hoppinggreen

But you are only telling us and nobody knows who you are here! Go on.... spill.

I doubt the medics who work in A&E are doing it because they expect thanks from everyone they treat. they get a pay cheque.

Ok
Sent 2 Mog cats to a Mners autistic ex
Bought Brownie uniform for a skint Mner
Food for homeless people lots of times ( and food for their dogs)
Bags of toiletries and Xmas pressies to homeless shelter each year
Anonymous £100 through the door of a skint mate
Paid for a headstone for a local baby that died in tragic circumstances
Food in the food bank every time I go shopping
Dc both have December birthdays and they get too much stuff so we take a bag full to the Sally Army for kids who don't get presents
Donated a few hundred quid to help fund a child from dc schoo, who needed specialist treatment abroad for cancer
All this in the last 12 months - I'm a fecking saint!!! ( not really, just very lucky so want to spread the luck)

You did ask cathy

Yes - couple of Christmasses ago I was travelling into town with my kids on the train and sat opposite a lady of about the same age as me who was very chatty and said she was going to her husband's works night out. When the ticket collector came round she tried to pay with her debit card, it wouldn't work beacause of a poor mobile signal, the ticket collector was being really mean and saying he was going to make her leave the train and fine her some ridiculous amount, so I gave her the cash. It was only about a tenner but it really saved her a lot of hassle and missing her party.

No chance I'd ever be repaid as I have no idea of her name or where she lives.

Ooops - thought this was a Random Acts of Kindness Thread. If you are already being paid to do something, eg: teaching, nurisng, social, etc then you have already been "paid back". Job satisfaction from doing a job well is always great. Too many confuse the paid employment of 'caring professions' with people that 'care' about people. One doesn't necessarily mean the other.

Just being kind and helpful with no thought of "payment" is even greater and the 'glue' that binds humanity and the 'oil' that greases society. And yes, in answer to your OP, more times over years than I
could list. Did a bit of RoK last Saturday, being the most recent, almost forgot as it's a Way of Life.