I'm a first time poster, please be gentle with me if you feel this warrants a response - I'm really low right now. I"m trying to work out if I have made a series of life mistakes that I cannot fix. I married my husband (a kind man) young, and he is now completely uninterested in me. We"ve had sex once since my two year old was born - hardly anything after the slightly older child was born too. He doesn"t like to socialise and I"ve done all the work trying to set up some kind of community and friendship for me and the kids - initially for him too, but he is just too stressed at work to care. This has been the case for several years now. I agreed to move to a foreign country with him, where we"ve now lived for several years. Before we moved, I had a decent job with career prospects in the UK. In the country we live in, everything is dependent on his visa, including mine and my two young childrens information, documentation and bank information and access. Life here has not been easy since the children were born and he does not share information about the budgeting and financial planning with me - I"ve tried many times to have this conversation but we are very limited with time and have two very young children who are very active and demanding of our time. I also now think he genuinely doesn"t know how to budget and plan - although here he takes on that role much more since I don"t have access to anything. There have recently been a series of financial mistakes that he didnt consult me on - setting up a crappy retirement fund with a dodgy company which we"ve recently exited and lost money over. Over the last few years of the children I"ve been depressed and struggling, but I have been working part time around nursery in an unpredictable role. I do it to try and maintain some sense of self, something on the CV for the future, and of course for the income, although the work is not regular. Times are tough, layoffs all over the place for him although he has managed to hang on to his job. We want to move home or elsewhere but it is all dependent on him finding a job. Before we moved here, I was the kind of person who would have said, I"ll find a job elsewhere, I can move us home. I did this at the beginning of our marriage and supported us until he found his feet. Realistically now, I don"t think Id be hired - could try to start work again in the UK in my old field or retrain somewhere new but Ive been freelance and part time with scanty work here for so long I dont think Im in the position to move us anywhere. I think if I felt the relationship was good I would be in a better place, but I am desperately lonely and shocked to find us in this position. Am I being unreasonable to think that I have made a series of poor choices that I can't fix alone?