To be in tears?

[Sienna333]

I think I already know I am being U but do you ever look around and it seems
like everyone is so happy and loved? I think today has just been overload o happy people. My lovely colleague texting me a photo of her gorgeous baby boy and she is just brimming over with happiness and then going to my friends house and hearing the way her DH talks to her (Really loving and he is always buying her flowers on a weekly basis and does his half of the chores and childcare, not to mention they are stinking rich, have great friends, a good social life and fantastic, high paying flexible jobs.) I am glad they are so blessed and happy but it hurts today comparing myself and the fact I am single, in a low paying job, lots of family strife and recently getting over a 3 week horrible illness. It just hurts at times and I really do think some peoples lives are very fortunate and lucky as in blessed. I know I am better off than a lot of people but today I am just feeling crap and wishing I could have their lives.

I am too embarrassed to say my age as I probably sound really immature but you did just make me giggle to myself with the smacking bum comment so thank you xx

Nah you're not immature.

And I am pleased if I brought a wee smile to your face for a bit.

People's life's are often not what they seem. People often make comments at how lucky I for various reasons but I feel as if my only really blessing are my gorgeous children

You are all so lovely. I know this is on me and it isn't my friends fault/colleagues fault that they are all so happy and content. I am at my friends house a lot and never see any sign of anything being less than perfect. I hate myself for these immature feelings but you have all helped a lot xx

Sienna - you're getting over illness and we're getting some grey and dreary days. Even the glorious golden autumn days disappear in darkness and chill at teatime. You've reasons to feel low, whatever your age.
Try to treat yourself to something you love weekly. It doesn't have to cost much.
One morning I started smiling at people, saying 'Good morning' and maybe commenting on the weather. Yes I got ignored, suspicious looks too, far more people responded tentatively but positively.
I'm not particularly a dog lover and sometimes nervous after being bitten. I've taken to admiring dogs, some owners positively glow!
Babies are more difficult to admire as many people are so mistrustful now. However a struggling mum, who probably thinks everyone is judging her, sometimes lightens up a bit if, in passing, I say something pleasant like 'You've got your hands full!' Or 'What a lively little one you've got!'
I probably sound an absolute pain. All I'm trying to say is, please don't cry, many of us have felt as you do. You deserve better treatment - start by giving some to yourself! 💐

I'm jealous because you have friends where you can go and hang around their house. I'd love that

What a lovely thread. I’m copy/pasting for future reference. Hang in there, it’s all only a phase...

I only have 1 friend if that helps!

I agree, this thread is so supportive, I feel less alone now x

@snugglyboots

What a lovely thread. I’m copy/pasting for future reference. ..

Yeah this thread is making me feel a bit like

Have a cry. It does you good. I think we all feel down at times. I had a very long relationship which ended nearly 2 years ago and have spent time getting over it & missing the love & care that comes from a DP. I sometimes have a good cry, even now. It's hard to think that I might never have someone to love and be loved by ever again. I don't want to get bogged down by negative feelings, as there's no where left to go after that. I've adopted a c'est la vie attitude, so I'll see how that goes? Hope you start to feel better about things soon

It is helpful to know I am not alone in feeling like this. I just keep wondering, when is it my turn to be happy and loved? I give out so much care and love but never seem to receive it. I am so glad I wrote this thread now, I had my doubts but I am really glad I did. X

Who do you give your love and care to? Why don’t you receive it back? Maybe it’s something to look into and reassess the people that are worth it.
It might be just this thread,but you seem to have quite low self esteem. Do you ever do everything for yourself?
If you don’t like,love,treat and care for yourself odds are others won’t either.
Find your worth..

My family, my friend, my colleagues and our clients (I work at a homeless shelter). I know I need to love myself but it's hard. I worry people look at me and think "Poor Sienna. She must look at us and feel so sad she doesn't have what we do."
I do things for myself like nice baths, shopping trips and netflix marathons but sometimes feel guilty for that which is stupid I know.

* Poor Sienna. She must look at us and feel so sad she doesn't have what we do.*

No one thinks like that. They’re either too busy dealing with their own shit or envying others.

Why do you feel guilty doing nice things for yourself?
Why do you think your friend love and care for you back?

Some people are at their nicest when they an audience, try not to take everything at face value.
Look at your own circle and concentrate on that .

I am not too sure. I am in many ways the ultimate loser and although I know I am a decent and good person, I am under no illusions that anyone would want to look like me or have my life. I am not sure my friend cares for me as much as she does other friends but I guess she appreciates my kindness?
I just wonder what it would be like to be beautiful, successful and to have people idolise you. Oh, I am sorry. I sound pathetic. I know I can be a bit hard on myself. Maybe my goal should be to treat how you lot have treated me tonight, with kindness.

I know I can be a bit hard on myself.

Wrong. You are your harshest critic. I know I sound a bit mean and aggressive with all the questions and stuff, but honestly this is the stuff you need to focus and work on.

What you think you should believe rationally: i know I’m nice,kind etc

What you truly believe: I don’t deserve this,i am not good enough.

That’s what needs to change.

Yeah you are right. That's why I say I know it is all on me.
I don't think your questions are harsh or aggressive

OP, I knew your username looked familiar and now I remember - you were the user who was having a very tough time being ill due to your high level of anxiety. I am saying this very kindly, because I’ve had the feelings you’re having now, that between that and this, it sounds like you may have depression, as well as your anxiety. It might be a good idea to see your GP and get a referral for counseling and other support. Right now, it sounds like you can only see the negatives about yourself and your life, and that’s what depression does. It lies to you and tells you that you’re awful and everything is awful and it will never stop being awful. But just like your anxiety, it’s lying to you.

I was exactly where you are once; now I appear to have some great things in my life, and I do. BUT I also have other struggles (two autoimmune conditions that may eventually kill me and chronic pain). People who see the great things cannot see the chronic pain, in the same way you cannot see the negative bits in your friends’ lives. And if you have depression, it can stop you from seeing the positive bits in your own life.

It takes great strength, and it’s not weakness or loserly, to ask for the help and support you need for things like depression and anxiety. I do hope it gets better for you, OP.

Where do these feelings come from? Have you always felt like this?

Dude! It’s not all real! It’s hard work making a relationship work and everyone gets pissed off, hurt, tired, ill. Things change, they will for you. Things won’t be like this forever.

I do know it can be hard work but I think some just have it easier as some people just really click together and are truly soulmates and so it comes naturally. To have someones huge support and love 24/7 must be an unbelievable feeling.
I am getting help with anxiety, yes. I have felt particularly depressed lately too though especially after the illness so should get that seen to as well.

God, I am a right mess.

Definitely ask for help. Depression will make everything seem bleaker and in turn you get even more depressed and so on. It’s a vicious circle.

Sienna I have a friend (at a different stage in life to me - much younger) whose life seemed pretty perfect. She worked part time, they had a lovely house which her parents helped them to buy, her husband was self-employed and successful ,had a car which got changed every 6 months as it was sponsored by a local dealer and two lovely, healthy children. Totally out of the blue, she said they were getting divorced as thing had got to breaking point between them - he was a workaholic and it later transpired he had been having an affair as well. So you never really know what goes on behind closed doors.