to give up?

[BasicallyBiscuit]

I constantly attract the wrong people into my life - both my LTR have been abusive and with narcissists. Still madly in love with ex, but he's taking advantage of this for his own benefit.

After that relationship deteriorated i lost the only support i had - whilst it wasnt the best, it was so much more comforting to sleep next to someone and have someone to hold you during night terrors.

I have dropped out of my postgraduate course, lost a relationship, lost my home.

I'm trying babysteps to move forward but I just can't do this anymore. I've applied for jobs but they're all minimum wage (nothing wrong with that) in retail (nothing wrong again), but i've always been academic and thought i would sail through PhD. I have started counselling but it just makes me sad to speak about stuff. I have friends, but i dont see them that much because theyre so busy - which makes me feel more of a failure

im 23 and i just dont see the point in this much struggle

AIBU to just go back to bed and cry

Go back to bed, have a bloody good think and a cry, then look deep inside yourself and find a flicker of strength and courage to get up and call your GP, have an honest discussion to see if a mild anti depressant might get you through this rough patch? What sort of counselling are you having? I’d recommend CBT.

You are 23 and have many years ahead and opportunities. You haven’t failed anything.

Rather than focus on poor relationships (you sound a little needy, are there self esteem issues etc?) and busy friends have you thought about joining a Meetup group? You can go to social event and have a good time with a group of people so there’s no pressure on specific people.

Keep applying for jobs and taking those baby steps. Try and see light at the end of tunnel.

Baby steps are that and you are taking them. You have recognised that you have attracted a couple of idiots, at 23 that is quote self aware. You have said you are madly in live wit your ex but you realise he is not right for you which is why he is an ex. Don't be too hard on yourself.

The job thing is a lottery these days, but keep applying something will come up. Maybe look into building some of those bridges. You are 23 give yourself a year then reapply for another course, 24, 25, 26, 27 is still young to do a PHD.

Good luck OP