To ask what to get stbxh for his birthday

[TartWithTheCart35]

It's his 40th in a couple of weeks and I haven't a clue what to do?

We've only just started the divorce and still get on well but I don't know what to do for his birthday? Should I get anything or just something from the DC?

I know we need all the money for sol but at the same time it's a big birthday.

I’d just get something from the kids TBH.

With respect - you know him best so surely you have more of a clue than randoms on the Internet?

How old are your kids? Could you ask them what they want to get him?

I was just asking advise if I should buy him something or just from the DC? Not on what to get him!

Sorry yes that's what the title says. Long day.

For my birthday my stbx got me a present from the kids only - a bottle of prosecco and some chocolates - it was fine. It's his 40th too in a few weeks and I'm going to get him a bottle of whisky from them and a card. I wouldn't get him a present from me - I think it blurs the boundaries a bit.

I let 7yo DD choose a charity gift for ExDH. She chose a wormery!

Probably best just something from the kids then and a card from me. Awkward really.

I guess the same for Christmas as well.

I find gift buying awkward too. Can't get anything too personal or intimate. That leaves red wine and chocolate!

He doesn't really drink so it's not as if I could get him a bottle of something. And obviously don't want to get him anything intimate.

Maybe I could buy him a packet of condoms for all the shagging around I'm sure he will be doing soon 😁

Remember, you're teaching the kidsame the importance of thinking of others and celebrating their birthday enthusiastically. As an aside, I spotted my 7 ye old DS not singing happy birthday at a party this WE. He's not keen on other people having a birthday. He's a work in progress.

Last Xmas mine got a heavy bottomed frying pan and the kids wrote out pancake making instructions so he can make the sunday pancakes EOW.

Nothing from you.

How old are the DC?

Take them shopping with a budget and remind them that wrapping paper and card (if they are not making one) comes out of the budget. Let them choose.

I wouldn't do anything. Him/his family can sort out the dc it isn't your chore anymore

I let the children choose their dads, my exs presents. He got a milk jug last year! I do agree with a pp in the fact that his family/him should be sorting this out with the dc, my sisters certainly do for me, but it just wouldnt have occurred for my ex to do this and i only do it otherwise the dc would be very upset.

If you are getting on ok buy him something. It’s a special Birthday, why not?

Will be our first Christmas separated. I will get him a gift from the boys. I will not get OW a gift. Likewise he will now have to sort out his family too as l used to do it.

He has surprised me though as he asked what l wanted from the boys for Christmas. I didn't expect to be on his radar as he is so loved up currently.