To find it annoying my friend is always late?

[peachytacos]

My friend is late every time we meet or often changes the meeting time shortly before, either bringing it forward by 30 minutes or delaying it by 30/45 minutes or so and is still late!! It’s starting to drive me mad, especially when my 11 month old doesn’t sleep well at the moment and I’m having to try and stick to a good routine in the run up to our planned meet time.
I don’t think I am BU but maybe I am, I think along the lines of...
5/10 mins- nothing to even get annoyed about
15 mins- fine, traffic is unpredictable sometimes, happens to us all on bad days
30 mins- taking the fucking piss now!

She says sorry but doesn’t ever appear to rush, just brazenly walks over with “oh hi, guess who is refusing lunch again”.
I’m really bad with any confrontation so it’s very much a gritted teeth “it’s fine” when she says she’s sorry. But last time really got to me because it’s as if she thinks her DD is the only one with a routine. My DD is 11 months and hers 10. Last time I cut the walk short because I knew she was due a snack back at the car and she seemed a bit that I went so soon when she’d paid for a couple hours parking. I was very sleep deprived that particular day and beyond fucked off i’d stood in the cold for 35 minutes
I enjoy her company and don’t want to end the friendship but it’s starting to really piss me off that I never know where I stand.
Do I gently mention it? Or lessen the meet ups to stop me getting so annoyed! Thanks in advance

it’s very much a gritted teeth “it’s fine”

She doesn't notice the teeth and just thinks it's fine if you say it is.

Start adding time. Expect her to be late and make arrangements round that. As in tell her 10 and aim for 1030. Then if she's ever on time she can wait for you! Simple.

Actually, I think this:
last time I cut the walk short because I knew she was due a snack back at the car and she seemed a bit shock that I went so soon when she’d paid for a couple hours parking
is the perfect way to handle it - a consequence for her action. Esp if you say "well, I've HAD a couple of hours parking because I was here at the time we arranged to meet"

Thanks all for the replies. I think I’ll have to try something because it’s really starting to annoy me!

I might just do the text at ten minutes thing and say something along the lines of “I did wait, but very busy today I’m afraid” and leave.

She’s not a nasty person, but is very oblivious in general. Probably partly my fault because when I say “it’s fine” she probably thinks I’m genuinely ok with it.

I’m a late person and it’s not because I think my time is more important than anyone else’s it’s just my timing is always off, the bus is late or my children decide to throw up, explosive poo all over them selves and me etc. It’s not meant as a disrespect of anyone I’m just rubbish at time keeping,

A now ex mate kept turning up late or changing the time every time we arranged to meet with stupid pathetic excuses.Last week he left me settin g
in the pub for 45 minutes,I decided that it was the last time and walked out.He hasent even attempt to get in touch or apologise,but I see on his Facebook page he went on holiday the next day!Needless to say he's now a very ex mate!

She sees her time as more important than yours as she sees herself as being more important than you.

Repeat with her child and yours.

These are not the attitude and actions of a friend.

If I were you, I’d fade her out.

I have a friend like this. It puts me off seeing her tbh but my dc loves hers so I keep up the friendship for that reason really. I make sure we don't ever meet her anywhere where time is an issue such as cinema, booked meal etc - and we always get there half an hour late but she's nearly always still not there .

I guess you need to weigh up whether the friendship is worth the annoyance.