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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it rude to correct a customer regarding your name/title.

24 replies

RainbowsAndCrystals · 08/11/2017 19:12

I had a customer respond to my email today and call me Mr Crystals. My name is a pretty obvious female name.

I started to respond back - to confirm my name is Mrs Crystals and not Mr.

But then felt this was rude so I just deleted it and ignored their error.

OP posts:
mustbemad17 · 08/11/2017 19:17

I get this a lot as my first name could be both. I don't mention it but i do sign my email off as Miss just to make a point 😂

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 08/11/2017 19:18

I wouldn’t bother unless I was going to have an ongoing relationship with them.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 08/11/2017 19:21

I rang a customer helpline

Very helpful young man Grin but i had obviously mishead his name

I do try to use names during the conversation (name badges if i can see one)

But he corrected me

I did think 'would it have killed you to pretend your name was chris?' Grin

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 08/11/2017 19:23

Was you going to send an email back solely for the purpose of putting
Mrs Crystals not Mr?

That IBU. If I made an honest mistake and received that email back in response I'd be a bit Hmm

If you sent an email back that contained other information and signed off Mrs Crystal that's fair play.

RainbowsAndCrystals · 08/11/2017 19:26

Oh no I did have further information to send them.

They did annoy me to be honest, threats and demands and trying to lay blame with the company when I can 100% say we are not to blame.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 08/11/2017 19:30

If you have an ongoing relationship with a person who believes you are a different gender or name and do not correct them at the start, later on, when they do realise their mistake, they are going to feel quite upset that you’ve allowed the misunderstanding to continue.

Simply sign off with your correct title/ name. If they continue to make the error, next time say, ‘oh, by the way, my name is Rainbows, not Robins, sorry if I didn’t make that clear.’ Then move swiftly on.

SandyDenny · 08/11/2017 19:32

Surely it's most likely to be a typo, I'd ignore it an sign off as you normally would

JamPasty · 08/11/2017 19:37

I do try to use names during the conversation - I'm just curious; why do people do this? It never sounds anything other than a fake attempt to be matey (I'm not saying that how people mean it, clearly!)

Pengggwn · 08/11/2017 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PiffleandWiffle · 08/11/2017 19:43

I'm just curious; why do people do this? It never sounds anything other than a fake attempt to be matey

If I'm speaking to customer services or similar I do it so they know I can quote who was dealing with me..... Wink

ninnynono · 08/11/2017 19:44

My name is quite well known in the U.K. but unheard of in the country where I live. So I often get called Mr. I get irrationally annoyed by it! It's quite satisfying at work though, when someone rings up to speak to Mr Nono and I say, 'it's Mrs Nono. And you're speaking with her'. But when it's just by email and I won't meet the person, I just ignore.

ComtesseDeSpair · 08/11/2017 19:44

Correct it now, I urge you. Else the moment will be gone and you will until kingdom come have to answer to a name which isn't yours. I've done this for a decade with a particular client.

TheCatsMother99 · 08/11/2017 19:46

I imagine it was a typo.... Mrs turned in to Mr by accident.

JamPasty · 08/11/2017 19:48

Good point PiffleandWiffle :)

KeepItAsItIs · 08/11/2017 19:53

I'd have to correct them in some way. My sirname gets misprounced a lot, it gives me the rage tbh as it's obvious really. I wouldn't have taken DH's name if I'd have known how much it would annoy me. I correct people every time, it's like a reflex and I've said it before I think. I'm not even sure if it's rude tbh, but if something is wrong, that is personal, I'll correct someone.

NetballHoop · 08/11/2017 19:55

I would correct them, it will avoid any problems down the line.

Changing the subject slightly, I used to work with a man who made a point of slightly changing people's names.

So a Sue would be called Susan and a Will would be called Bill. It was a power thing with him and we stamped it out by ignoring him until he used our preferred names.

It eventually came out that he'd been tought it in a sales training session as a way to make people see you as an alpha male and buy whatever he had tho sell.

user1497357411 · 08/11/2017 19:59

Hi Netball The thing with saying people's names wrong sounds like negging. What a twat.

Dominithecat · 08/11/2017 20:00

Oh dear my name in original country is usually male so anyone in the UK from France/Belgium/that area, adds an "a" to the end of my name
So instead of e.g zyon they call me zyona

HermionesRightHook · 08/11/2017 20:05

I do. I have a really obviously female name but only if you're dealing with people with English as a first language or who are familiar with European languages and I see it as a courtesy to my students who aren't to let them know. Many do, of course, but I just say at the end 'By the way, I use Ms as a title and I am a woman, but don't worry, please do call me Charlotte'.

It took me a while to get to that wording but I think it's a good balance of gentle but correcting.

Glumglowworm · 08/11/2017 20:06

I work in a call centre and regularly get called the wrong name, I never correct people unless they're asking for confirmation. I regularly get people ask for my colleagues by random incorrect names as well

ThisNameNow · 08/11/2017 20:22

I get this but It doesn't ever bother me. It would if someone was doing it on purpose to piss me off but otherwise I don't mind. I think it's ok to correct people though as long as you are polite.

RainbowsAndCrystals · 08/11/2017 20:50

Hopefully it won't be a repeat contact with this person. They contacted me on behalf of their client. Their client that we have gone above and beyond to help on numerous occasions m, and then refuses to help himself.

I told him exactly who he needs to speak to to resolve his issue, I've spoken to them as well and his response was no I don't want to. Hmm

Not relevant but I wanted to rant Grin

OP posts:
Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 08/11/2017 22:18

jampasty

Well its more

'Thank you for your help chris'

Rather than using it at any point

Sides...they keep calling me mrs rufus or rufus only seems fair Grin

Mammylamb · 08/11/2017 22:25

Oh dear, earlier today a colleague (who I had never spoken to before) on a conference call shortened my name (think Suzanne to Susie). I quickly corrected her. Then later thought I was maybe a bit rude, but really, I can't bear to be called Susie

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