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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask your honest opinion?

45 replies

NannyPlum40 · 08/11/2017 17:30

Ok,

Came out of a LTM a year ago, but it had been dead for a couple of years. A month or two after, I joined a dating sight basically looking for NSA fun.

Met a guy who was in a relationship at the time. We texted loads to the point where he told me he loved me.

After a couple of months of constant texting, we met. No sex, just kissing and talking really. Met up a further couple of times.

He split with his gf and we eventually had sex. This was 6 months ago and I haven't seen him since.

We do text, but he is very up and down with me and fallen out several times, Even before we had sex.

We fell out recently and didn't speak for 3 weeks but then text me again out of the blue. He said he just wants to be friends with me for a bit first before arranging to meet again. Because he said that when we get close we fall out. But then he talks about us having sex.

I'm so confused over this guy, but I really like him. We haven't seen each other for months, whenever we arrange to meet he goes hot and cold with me but then keeps telling me how much he wants to keep having sex with me?

Am I being played?

OP posts:
outofmydepth45 · 08/11/2017 19:46

Your an arse he's an arse sorted.

Work on your respect for self and others, did you for one nano second consider the gf

iamyourequal · 08/11/2017 19:47

You are being played. Why don't you just enjoy bejng single for a while. People's romantic judgement can really like vthem down when they are on the rebound. Take your time. Flowers

Shouldnotwouldnot · 08/11/2017 19:57

I think he’s being fairly honest. He wants to have sex with you but doesn’t really like you - is that not it?

Either way this all sounds very 6th form!

questionbasket · 08/11/2017 22:17

Oh god, who has time for this nonsense?!
He's not that bothered, probably didn't split with his gf (or if he did has got back with her), gets a bit bored so messages you to keep his options open but even then does a half-arsed job of it, and you need to have a bit of time to sort your head after your previous relationship, decide what you actually want, and stop playing games.

IamSerena · 09/11/2017 02:55

He's just not that into you.

Cavender · 09/11/2017 02:57

This isn’t a relationship. This is you massaging his ego.

Dump and block.

HashtagTired · 09/11/2017 03:16

Walk away.

TheDowagerCuntess · 09/11/2017 04:33

FFS.

You said you were looking for no strings attached sex.

That's what this guy is giving you. In spades.

He just wants sex. No strings.

If that's not what you want - which it clearly isn't - then bin him off to do his own thing. He's playing you like a bull fiddle.

TheDowagerCuntess · 09/11/2017 04:35

And the only reason he might be possessive of you, is because he can see his on tap sex supply being shut off.

LilQueenie · 09/11/2017 04:52

as bad as each other. you were kissing him while he was still in a relationship!

justilou1 · 09/11/2017 05:21

Totally played. Find another one.

YeahILoveSummer · 09/11/2017 05:41

Run. If you are struggling to see he is using you read your own post Confused

fullofhope03 · 09/11/2017 05:50

He sounds pathetic, so seriously get rid.
Also feel you would benefit from time without men in your life.
Just embrace being single for a while! Get together/reconnect with your friends, get out there, there's so much fun and freedom to be had.
Once you're happy doing this, then you will be ready for a relationship with a decent man not a twatty child. And if in future, you can avoid men who are currrently in a relationship so much the better. Good luck.

fullofhope03 · 09/11/2017 05:52

Just to add - Avoid them like the plague. Really.

bimbobaggins · 09/11/2017 05:54

You even need to ask?
The fact that you haven’t seen him for 6 months should be enough. Was going to say get rid but there’s nothing to get rid of. Just stop replying to his texts

fullofhope03 · 09/11/2017 06:04

You've got a point there bimbobaggins Smile

pictish · 09/11/2017 06:13

Maybe it's time for you to take your head out of your backside when it comes to relationships...not to put the point too finely.
So much wrong with this. Seeking and jumping straight into an NSA relationship mere weeks after the end of your marriage. Getting involved with someone who is already in a relationship. Giving him a second of your time after you don't hear from him for six months (he didn't finish with his gf btw - although perhaps now she has finished with him). Pretending there is someone else on the scene to make him jealous.
I mean...it's a childish mess isn't it?

My honest advice to you? Yes you're being played. Grow up and raise your standards to match. Sorry to be harsh but ffs...this is ridiculous.
Have some self respect and date with decency. x

NotAgainYoda · 09/11/2017 06:22

What pictish said

CamperVamp · 09/11/2017 06:24

Haha at NSA sex, he is stringing you along and there’s no sex!

You had sex once, months ago, and haven’t met up since, he doesn’t want a relationship, so what’s left?

I too believe he is probably in a relationship and texting you gives a little frisson to his ego.

bimbobaggins · 09/11/2017 06:26

Thanks full

pictish great post and every word true

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