To email this teacher?

[LadyWire]

My DD is 18 and at 6th form college. To avoid dripfeeding she has ASD, depression and anxiety. She is extremely emotionally underdeveloped compared to her peers.

Her a-level English teacher told a tale today about seeing a cat being hit by a car and hitting it with a tennis racquet to "put it out of its misery" before throwing it to the side of the road. He then kept referring back to it throughout the lesson.

DD has come out of college inconsolable. I've emailed the teacher telling him that a) what he did was appalling and b) it's not an appropriate subject to speak to a class about. AIBU to be angry enough to contact him or should I have ignored it? Tbh I'm tempted to report him to college and to the RSPCA.

Yes, 'beating' is an emotive word isn't it? The teacher had the kindness to stop and put a suffering and dying animal out of its misery - odd how this has been rebranded as an act of cruelty. Also odd (and I find very depressing) how so many people get more upset about the death or suffering of animals than humans!

Sometimes things come up in lessons that you talk about or have to deal with that are not on the syllabus - today I had to explain the law and consequences of homosexuality in the 1930s. It emerged from the text we were studying but it progressed from this. As a teacher it is my job to educate beyond the narrow limits of the national curriculum or syllabus and I am privileged to teach a subject which not only enables but compels me to do this. In fact, I had a discussion this week with my sixth formers about the death of a pet (I won't tell you sensitive flowers what happened) that emerged from dealing with the euphemism 'passed away' as opposed to died.
Without being in the lesson we can't know exactly how and why the subject was handled. If this was a pattern of the teacher wandering off topic and not covering what needs to be covered or dealing with material in an appropriate way, complain away. If this is a 2 minute conversation that is a one off, really, get it into perspective.

OP. I am sorry that she can't speak to the teacher herself. That is very debilitating.

I can see why your daughter was so distressed and I don’t think you are being unreasonable to want to complain. That said, in your shoes, I don’t think I would make a complaint.

In typical MN style, some teachers will defend their fellow professional regardless. I think this teacher was crass. I have no issue in recognising when my fellow professional is wrong or unprofessional and indeed, have said so on MN.

I would be going in to see the college principle. What an idiot. Hope your poor daughter is alright xx

To be fair I wouldn't expect English to be a subject one would have to avoid to side step graphic descriptions of animal cruelty.

Pengggwn
I agree.

If someone is overly sensitive then the way forward is for them to get support so they can cope with sensitive situations and topics, not police the worls around them and monitor what people say 'just in case soandso gets upset'.

Unfortunately upsetting things happen in life. Fact. People discuss upsetting things. Upsetting things will be on the news and in books and in TV shows and films.

I'm not overly sensitive.

This description has upset me.

I'll get over it

but I don't expect to hear graphic descriptions of animal cruelty in daily life.

'To be fair I wouldn't expect English to be a subject one would have to avoid to side step graphic descriptions of animal cruelty.'

Erm, perhaps avoid Of Mice and Men and Animal Farm then! I've just done Of Mice and Men with my year 9s. In case you aren't aware one of the main characters kills mice, a puppy and then a woman. It was right and proper that some of them were a bit sad at the end of the novel (it's meant to be sad!). Somehow they have survived and are doing some brilliant work on it.

You definitely need to avoid the whole history syllabus all the way through school and PSHE if you find suffering in real life distressing. Or is it just with animals?

Then what is it? If I found an injured animal I'd go to a vet. I think most people would.

In typical MN style, some teachers will defend their fellow professional regardless. I think this teacher was crass.
Ooh there we have it.

We're just one step away from the following:

1. You can tell who thr teachers are on the thread
2. I'm so lucky insert a poster of your choice isn't teaching my child
3. Don't worry OP. You complain. You need to be aware you can never say anything bad about teachers on MN

Would i choose that anecdote? No.
Has he been unprofessional? No.

Personal judgement vs professionalism are 2 different things.

I'm quite strict with my students and don't tend to have lots of "banter". Some of ky colleagues do. They are not uunprofessional for having a different line to me as long as they are doing their job.

Plus, by the OP's admission her DD is easily upsrt by things. So what goes home as being this appalling and distressing tale may be a throw away anedcote that other studenys cake back to later.

Bit different nostaples as that is obviously fiction.

There's a world of difference between the death of a fictitious dog and a description of the demise of a real cat at the hands of someone deemed to be trustworthy.

I've spent the day discussing Armistice day, World War 1 and reading an extract from Testament of Youth. The details are immensely distressing. Some young people were in tears. In one lesson I was in tears. I taught that lesson 3 times this week.

Should I apologise to any 'sensitive' students?

He killed it with a tennis racquet and chucked it into the road

Yes pengwyn I think that's cruel.

If you don't I think you're deranged.

nostaples
Of Mice and Men sprang to my mind too.
It makes for some great debates about personal responsibility in terms of whether Lennie can/should be held responsible.

English deals with all kinds of tough topics. The idea that they shouldn't be discussed in case someone gets upset worries me.

If at 18 one of my parents emailed my tutor I'd have hit the roof. Is she aware you've done this?

Do people really not see the difference in the discussion of difficult, yet relevant, topics, and descriptions of casual animal cruelty ?

Teachers are suppised to have some idea about the kids they teach surely he should have thought about this before telling a class of barely 16yr olds

They are lower six. Hardly barely 16 year olds. Some will be 17 and many very nearly.

I can’t imagine why he would go into his class and telll them he battered a cat with a tennis racquet without it being relevant to the lesson at all.

I like animals. If I saw a dying cat by the side of the road I would do what he did. If it was messy I wouldn’t want to use my hands and if a tennis racquet was all I had to hand then so be it. Is it the method of his dispatch that your more angry with?

A level classes are a lot more informal than secondary schooling, in preparation for uni and work. It’s a bit of a grim anecdote but she’ll certainly hear a lot worse in the ‘real world’.

I hope she feels better soon. Does she know you’ve emailed the teacher? I have asd and spent my school years trying my hardest to assimilate - I’d have been mortified if my dm had contacted school about an issue like this!