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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be dreading Christmas

33 replies

sophkins · 08/11/2017 16:36

I spend it on my own but this year thought it would be different. Anyone else?

OP posts:
cathyclown · 08/11/2017 18:39

I think it is the feeling that everyone else must be having a ball and you feel you are curled up in a ball alone that makes it difficult for some people.

Looking at some of the posts on here, I reckon most people would rather be ALONE at Christmas! That is not to reduce the pain of the OP at all, I am just saying that Christmas can mean great expectations, which rarely live up to the hype at all.

Yes it is nice to have family around, but after an hour or two they mostly snore on the couch, the kids go nuts, the ILs turn into Ogres, the presents were crap and all the rest of it, oh and the clean up will take up most of the next day. Exhausting, and never really lives up to the expectations of everyone either IMV. In truth everyone is glad when it is all over.

I don't give Christmas a second thought. I never watch the ads, I don't buy anything extra (except booze.) That's an essential anaesthetic! I visit family all the time, nothing different about Christmas IMV.

It is so over hyped. It is no wonder people get unwell and depressed, feel lonely at this time. But it is just a day. Commercialism has a lot to answer for.

OP I hope you will be OK. Buy yourself some lovely treats, close the blinds and sleep on the sofa whilst watching something on TV/Netflix/etc. Get drunk as a skunk who cares?

Next day go out to the sales, or for a walk or whatever. Believe me it is all over then.

sophkins · 08/11/2017 18:48

Obviously I understand that being with someone cruel or neglectful is worse but really that's not what I'm about here.

OP posts:
missymayhemsmum · 08/11/2017 18:51

If you are dreading Christmas alone, have you let your friends know you are open to invites and willing to referee between them and their relatives?

sophkins · 08/11/2017 18:53

No, because I'm not Smile

It's not as simple as not wanting to be alone. Being in the midst of someone else's family is worse.

OP posts:
whatkatydidnext1 · 08/11/2017 19:38

"It's hard to explain how bad I feel and it's not just Christmas obviously but it brings things into focus."

Totally agree with that. Christmas seems to magnify problems/worries/arguments ten fold. A few issues in my life get me down sometimes but nothing I can't cope with. Then along comes Christmas and opens up the wounds. I don't know what to suggest op that already hasn't been. I also do agree that a rosy picture is painted of lovely close families at Christmas and it's totally not always the case. Also just to add I spent many Christmas's with my exh who was awful to live with at the best of times but my god he was a grinch. Would t get up and wAtch the kids open pressies, or put them together he didn't buy them either. Would t eat with us at the table. One year kicked the tree over on Boxing Day. I wasn't alone but I'd have been better off being.

whatkatydidnext1 · 08/11/2017 19:41

It's not as simple as not wanting to be alone. Being in the midst of someone else's family is worse.
Sometimes you can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely I understand that.

Adarajames · 09/11/2017 18:38

Crisis at Christmas runs 23-30th and needs thousands of volunteers, it's mainly in London but are few centres in other areas too, info on their website

Adarajames · 09/11/2017 18:41

Taraloka- women's Buddhist retreat centre does a retreat, pay as you can afford last time I was there if you are into that sort of thing

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