To wonder why my sister in law allows her kids to swear?

[Freddiesfling]

Bit of background... my sister in law and I are very close, our children are similar ages and go to the same schools.
Our oldest boys are 11 and have just started secondary school, our daughters are 8 and 7 and our youngest children are 4 and 3.
She is a devoted mother and seem to bring her children up with good values and morals for the most part , however she swears a lot in front of her children and they in turn swear back including the 4 year old. These words are often on the extreme side of swearing also.

My children spend a lot of time with her children and they know I won't condone swearing of any sort... not that they or I are perfect but I don't think it's acceptable.
However the children's swearing have started being noted by others and when comments are made my sis in law will tell the children off halfheartedly and then say later they are just words so what's the issue.
I told her that I don't approve and things may get worse as the children get older but it doesn't seem to phase her and I have started avoiding her a little bit which is hard as she's my husbands sister!
My main issue is I don't want my children to be tarred with the same brush as both my oldest children and hers are very close!
Is there anything I can say/do or should I keep out of it?

If you’ve tried telling her and she doesn’t listen - I wouldn’t be spending as much time with her - maybe you can speak to DH and see if he can get through to her?

It's a 'class' thing. The lower and upper classes swear like navvies, only the pseudo middle class has issues with it.

Some might remember The F Fulfords

I'm surprised people let their kids say fuck and bugger. Surely the meaning of those words alone would mean you wouldn't want your child saying it.............flipping heck etc I understand

The meaning of flipping heck and fucking hell is identical.

Don’t shield them completely or they risk not knowing how to use expletives at all and who wants Ned Flanders from The Simpson’s style of “swearing”

That is such a weird point point of view! Slowly introduce swearing so they don't look stupid one day? No thanks!

It's a 'class' thing. The lower and upper classes swear like navvies, only the pseudo middle class has issues with it.

What a load of rubbish!

@PricillaQueenOfTheDesert coppernob means ginger haired. Copper knob has another meaning entirely and would probably require a visit to a healthcare professional!!!! Lol!

I agree that commonly they are used to express the same feeling but fuck does not have the same meaning as flip

It's a 'class' thing. The lower and upper classes swear like navvies, only the pseudo middle class has issues with it.

I don't think so. I am from a working class background and I was brought up not to swear.

My DF was a builder and certainly had a robust vocabulary when working but rarely swore at home. Also I think genuinely shocked when he heard anybody use an F- or a C-word.

My Mum hardly more than the occasional bloody or bugger.

We DC were absolutely not allowed to swear at all.

I was surprised when I got to Uni that some of my new friends (who were definitely MC) peppered their conversation with frequent F's.

I don't think I know any upper class people so I can't comment on that!!!

Not sure it's class issue I was brought up very working class and my parents never allowed me to swear and still tell me off now at the age of 35 if I slip up!

MyBrilliantDinguise I think I explained why I do it quite clearly and explained how my DD understands the nuances of when to use such language. The purported disadvantage is entirely cultural. I come from a culture where swearing is entirely normal and the same word can be a term of endearment or a mortal insult depending on the intention of the speaker and the context. Creative swearing (my mother language is a very creative language) is an art form to be admired. I also live in a culture where swearing is much more socially acceptable than in Britain.

I think all you can do is tell your own kids that whatever their cousins do, swearing is NOT okay and if you catch them at it you will come down on them like a ton of bricks.
I'm quite sure this would have worked on me as a child. Parents did not swear on front of us, we did not swear in front of them. Rarely even swear in front of them now, even though we are very close.

Just press on your children that swearing children sounds very ugly indeed and not to take any notice of what other people do.