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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To withdraw dd from or am I being a 'snowflake' ?

88 replies

Thebighit · 07/11/2017 15:33

NC
Prepared to be flamed.

Last year dd did boxing in PE. Her teacher teaches PE and a science subject if relevant.

During this lesson from what I can gather the PE teacher taught them boxing rather than a person brought in to teach it.

This teacher might be qualified to teach boxing I have no idea but in the class there was a lot of messing about and silliness with a room full of beginners and dd was hit hard in the face leaving her with a black eye and also a lump over her eye that stayed for weeks. I think I posted about it at the time.

Another teacher did come in at some point to teach but then it went back to the teacher. I am aware according to dd that the teacher has done a 'bit of' kick boxing but I have no idea as I said above if they are a boxing coach or qualified and don't think they have to be as it's school PE anyway.

Fast forward a year and they have split the class into two. Dd has spent a certain amount of weeks doing another sport and now we have been told it's boxing again. Dd is really unhappy about doing boxing again and asked if she could join the other group and repeat the other sport unbeknown to me. Teacher has of course said no.

I'm not that happy to be honest. I wouldn't be thrilled about her doing boxing anyway if I'm completely honest but if she wanted to do it I would find a club with a qualified and trained specific boxing coach who had experience of teaching and controlling classes of beginners.

I'm a martial arts black belt so not against self defence for girls at all but every martial arts!

Dd has additional needs including Dyspraxia so is not very keen on sports or school as it is so the idea of boxing until Christmas is going to put her off altogether and probably cause school morning battles again sigh...

OP posts:
Original poster
Thebighit · 07/11/2017 15:35

And the key word missing from the title would be PE
Blush

OP posts:
dorislessingscat · 07/11/2017 15:36

TBH I would have gone nuclear at the first incident.

I think you need to find out about the PE teacher’s qualifications. And ask for a copy of the risk assessment for the lesson.

What did the incident report say about your daughter’s black eye?

So no snowflake accusations from me!

Sidge · 07/11/2017 15:38

No way in hell would I let any child of mine do boxing.

Who on earth thought boxing in school PE was a good idea?

TeenTimesTwo · 07/11/2017 15:38

Age might help OP.
Unusual sport for any state school - is this private?

Floralnomad · 07/11/2017 15:39

Boxing should only ever be an optional sport , and I say that as someone who actually likes boxing and can see the benefits for some people .

TheSpottedZebra · 07/11/2017 15:39

Ooh, I am a karate black belt and have kick boxed too so also not against a bit of rufty tufty, but...
There needs to be adequate experienced supervision, and of course, discipline so that all are safe. And it doesn't sound like there is, at all.

I'd definitely be querying hard the supervision aspect, and withdrawing dd if I was not happy.

badabing36 · 07/11/2017 15:39

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Withdrawing your dd over a black eye is definitely not being a 'snowflake'.

elland · 07/11/2017 15:40

I don’t think you’re being a snowflake at all.

Personally I don’t think anyone unqualified should be teaching any kind of fighting sport, let alone to children and that’s before you throw in the previous black eye.

I would be doing as your DD did and ask for her to switch sports and if the answer is no withdrawing her from taking part anyway.

PenCreed · 07/11/2017 15:41

I’ve been kickboxing for 6 years and never had a black eye because we’re light contact and have a “not the face!” rule for low grades. With school kids that’s the approach I’d expect, from a trained instructor. There’s no way I’d let a child stay in that class, it’s dangerous. Seconding the suggestion to ask for the risk assessment.

Wolfiefan · 07/11/2017 15:41

I would have gone batshit at the first instance of her being given a black eye.
Pad work? Fine? Actual boxing? No way.

happygirly1 · 07/11/2017 15:43

I'm not normally against wrapping kids in cotton wool BUT compulsory boxing in schools where real and significant injuries are received?

No way; especially if my daughter had already expressed that she didn't quite fancy getting punched in the face in between Chemistry and Maths.

You are most certainly not being unreasonable to respect your daughters's wishes and remove her from this class.

GoingRogue · 07/11/2017 15:43

Hate boxing so wouldn't want a child of mine doing it, let alone if she'd already been injured doing it by an untrained teacher.

How old is she? Is this a private or state school?

OldWitch00 · 07/11/2017 15:43

The back eye was last year. Live and learn. Yes, she should participate this year.

MissConductUS · 07/11/2017 15:45

In the US some colleges have boxing teams but it's not taught in younger kids. The colleges require padded, protective headgear to be worn at all times so as to avoid back eyes and other injuries.

If DD is boxing without that type of headgear she is at serious risk for concussion injury. I'd pull her out of it immediately, especially since she doesn't want to do it in the first place.

Hoppinggreen · 07/11/2017 15:46

My DD does a martial art and has never been hurt, they wear protective gear and light head contact only
The club has highly qualified instructors and strict guidelines and insurance. There is no way I wouid let her do boxing under the circumstances you describe

Original poster
Thebighit · 07/11/2017 15:52

Sorry year ten girl state school.

They definitely were not wearing head guards but I was told on here that some places weren't using head guards anymore for some reason I think.

I'm not sure if they were doing pad work and her friend was being stupid or not I can't remember. Will ask her later.

There was no accident report. The eye bruising didn't come up properly immediately and PE was later in the day. She showed the teacher the next time she saw her in school that it was bruised and according to dd the teacher just laughed and made a comment that she was still beautiful anyway.

The lessons didn't take place for a while after that due to things going on in school then another teacher came in for a while after that from outside school but dd missed a couple of lessons as she was poorly and then they changed sport so it wasn't an issue after that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thebighit · 07/11/2017 15:54

Exactly hopping. Dd did karate and was on the squad for a while and when ever they sparred they had full body and head protection on.

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 07/11/2017 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/11/2017 16:01

YANBU

There's no way on this earth that any child of mine would have done boxing at school.

Phalenopsisgirl · 07/11/2017 16:02

I’d want to know more about the first incident, did this happen as part of the actual class or was it the result of exuberant horseplay because the kids are wearing boxing gloves? I’m sure everyone can imagine the type of scenario I’m thinking of. Generally these things are all about pad work or shadow boxing in a mirror to learn technique etc. Compulsory combat sounds very odd. However there may be more to the story.

scaevola · 07/11/2017 16:04

I think I would begin by asking for a written statement of the coaching qualifications of the teacher, and to see the safety policy of both the school and the sport governing body for the relevant age group.

I would be reiterating in writing that following your DD's injury the previous year, she is disinclined to take part in contact sports likely to include blows to the head and that - combined with the safety risks of repeated head contact - mean you expect a non-contact PE option, or for your DD to learn how to referee/coach boxing rather than participate herself.

Ghostontoast · 07/11/2017 16:04

Write a letter to the head and copy in the gouvenors.
State what happened and say that you are withdrawing DD from the class.

Tell them what the teacher's response to the injury was, and that your D's is too frightened to do the sport again.

Request that the school has the appropriate safety equipment and insurances in place for this sport and to confirm in writing that the teacher had the appropriate training qualification to teach this sport etc etc.

Clandestino · 07/11/2017 16:04

YANBU. I'd be furious and my DD has just started taekwon do and does ice-hockey too so we're not exactly the snowlakey types trying to protect her from any harm.

crazycatgal · 07/11/2017 16:07

They shouldn’t be doing contact sports as part of a P.E lesson, I would tell the teacher that DD doesn’t want to do it again after last time.

gateto · 07/11/2017 16:07

If it makes her uncomfortable or shes dreading doing it (especially if shes dyspraxic, as this just makes the whole thing even scarier for someone who is dyspraxic i imagine) I would say you are not being a snowflake.

If it was just a little taster class here or there I would say yes you are being precious, but it seems such an odd sport to have regularly.