To write to the COO about discrimination?

[Iamnotmydisability]

This is part rant, part question so please bear with...I have name changed as this is a specific and so outing post.

Sorry, it's long because I'm upset.
TLDR: I'm self employed and just got my contract terminated for having bipolar disorder, WIBU to write a professionally worded email to the company about it?

I'm a self-employed contractor working in financial services. I've been working with a company since Feb and have had glowing feedback about my work both to me and the recruitment agency that I work for them through. They recently (as in 3-4 weeks ago) extended my contract through to June 18.

I also have bipolar disorder. I don't wear a badge that says it but I'm open about it...in that if it's relevant to a conversation I'll mention it and if it isn't I won't. Some people at work knew, some didn't.

I've just come back from 7 working days off due to my bipolar disorder. I have had two previous leaves of absence unrelated to being ill which were unavoidable (father died = 2 days off, miscarriage = 5 days off, these were in April & early August).

I was open about the fact that I was off with bipolar disorder, that I had seen my psychiatrist who had adjusted my medication. I don't often take time off with my bipolar anymore as it is well managed via medication and changes to my lifestyle.

I get back today, am pulled aside and 'let go', told to take my notice period at home and leave this morning because "they can't be sure I'll be reliable". They made this decision and lined someone up to replace me while I was off. They didn't take the time to even have a conversation with me about my illness and whether other periods of absence were likely. I've had nothing but very positive feedback about my work and they were at pains to make it clear that the decision was in no way related to my work, only to this period of absence.

I calmly said I was disappointed as I didn't feel we would be having the same conversation if I'd had one instance of time off with a physical disease.

I'm not naive, I know I'm a contractor and so don't get the same protection but these are people I get on with very well and have worked with one before. I think it would have been more appropriate to have a conversation on my return about the likelihood of any further time off and make a decision from there.

God knows what they were thinking to pull someone aside on their first day back from a bipolar blip to sack them....I might not be an employee, but I'm still a person.

Anyway, I'm really quite shocked about the whole thing. In particular I think it gives a pretty awful and clear message to permanent staff with MH issues that 'we support you because we legally have to, otherwise you'd be out on your arse immediately'.

My permy colleagues are apparently having 'hissy fits' about how it's been handled back at the office.

The COO has previously disclosed to me that his DW had bipolar (and very sadly took her own life) when it came up in a private conversation a few months back because a permanent member of staff committed suicide.

WIBU to write an honest but professional email to him about what has happened?

I don't want money or my role back, such is the life of a contractor, but I consider myself a MH advocate about stigma and feel like I'm not helping by simply sloping off with my tail between my legs.

PS: There's nothing I can do about this in a legal sense. I'm a limited company so they are within their legal rights to discriminate against me on any basis they fancy.

Huge empathy bypass in this thread.

Absolutely do email the COO in the way you describe. Nothing will change unless mental health advocates fight for it.

Bloody hell, I had 10WDs off to have an ovarian cyst removed. I had to have two further days off before that when it first started as I was in so much pain. People can't help being genuinely ill!

Yes. And nor can we help having miscarriages or close relatives die. According to the unfeeling cunts on this thread, having two awful experiences within a year and then an (understandable) mental health issue makes you "unreliable" and the company absolutely in the right to fire the OP.

I hope none of them are employers. Or mothers.

No people can not help being ill. But people do get sacked for genuine illness.

In my company 14 days absence in 6 months would result in disciplinary action regardless of the reason.
I think it's this instead of your diagnosis that was the issue.

Still sucks though!

"WIBU to write an honest but professional email to him about what has happened?"

it depends why you are writing it. I am sorry if I have misinterpreted but it sounds like you want to write to the COO in particular because of his personal experience.

My feeling is that it's unprofessional to write to someone about a professional matter because you have knowledge of something that happened in their personal life.

in terms of organisations pretending to support staff with MH issues, yes, absolutely, they are pretending. But if you think that's happening here, it makes more sense to write to the COO in that context and not say anything about his personal situation.

I think it's a crazy business decision - good luck in finding an efficient robot who never needs time off.

And this is why people with chronic health problems can find it so difficult to hold down jobs. There seems to be an exception for some illnesses like cancer, but I know people who have been sacked for being genuinely ill and not having that many days off sick.

In my company 14 days absence in 6 months would result in disciplinary action regardless of the reason
Amaried if you were off with hyperemesis you think your employer would discipline you? They would have no right to.

berlioz "I think it's a crazy business decision - good luck in finding an efficient robot who never needs time off."

actually I have met many many of these in my working life. I'm glad for them they are so healthy/never have personal crises but it has made me feel really quite embarrassed about needing time off even with a doctor's cert. I also worked for a company whose CEO raised the issue of absence at an all staff meeting and said that staff should be taking better care of their health so they needed less time off. We didn't even have a high rate of sickness - it's just he was one of those who was never ill ever ever and his team of directors were the same.

This is probably why 40% of women with endometriosis give up work. Fortunately I've only had one issue with the cyst but it could easily come back.

And the government are having people assessed as "fit for work" with terrible chronic conditions and disabilities, yet this is not matched with employers being able to fire people for having a few days off sick.

"you are unhappy with the way they let you go - i.e. without any warning that they were unhappy with the amount of absence. They didn't give you any chance to improve, or any chance to reassure them that this was an unusual occurrence. I think they were unprofessional."

I think this sums up how I feel really. They were unnecessarily harsh and I feel like it would have been professional (and dare I say human^) to say 'We realise you've had a tough year but we need our contractors to provide a reliable service, if you were to have another absence for whatever reason, we would need to consider giving you notice".

I would completely accept this as fair and professional.

As an aside...it's not relevant to me as I'm not an employee but...for those saying this many days off for these reasons would result in disciplinary action for employees. That would be illegal.

Time off for the miscarriage would be excluded as maternity related. Time off for bipolar disorder wouldn't be discounted per se but would be covered by the Equality Act as a disability so couldn't immediately be cause for disciplinary action. I think it's just worth stating this for clarity for anyone who is an employee who reads this thread.

Employers can sack you for being off sick for a disability, but they have to be much more careful they have made all reasonable adjustments.

Sorry NC fail, I am the OP.

I'm sort of going off the idea of sending an email TBH. I want to be a brave advocate of mental health but...I'm also wary of burning bridges in an industry where you can very often end up working with some of the same people again and where I'm reliant on a finite number of companies for work.

So sadly, as much as I don't want to slope off with my tail between my legs. I think in reality that's what I'll do. Which annoys me because everything is always so stacked against the individual.

I feel like I'm not ill enough for benefits (and I'm definitely not, it's only 1-2 weeks a year at most) but I'm not seen as employable because of those couple of weeks. So not sure what I'm supposed to do other than curl in a corner and starve

Yes @brasty that's what I meant by the fact my time off for bipolar couldn't be immediately be used as a cause for disciplinary action.

Any employee in that kind of situation should read up on their rights under the Equality Act and contact CAB/ACAS/their union for advice.

well no matter how i feel about it (i am empathetic) it doesn't surprise me

the employees in most orgs i've worked in are treated fairly poorly in terms of e.g. needing time off for emergency childcare (not to do it, to take 1-2 days off to arrange it, as is a legal right).

i've also been with an employer that put someone through attendance management processes despite the fact that the reason she kept having time off was because a close family member had died, and she felt forced back to work, but kept breaking down and bursting into tears, clearly totally unfit to be at work - toxic office (I'm talking 2 days off at funeral, coming back for a week, off again for a day, back for 4 days, off again - HR decided that there was no way around escalating it and the poor woman was dragged into all sorts of meetings - great, eh).

anyway, what i'm saying is: OP, employees are fairly poorly treated on occasion. i've generally seen contractors and freelancers treated even worse.

that doesn't excuse it, but i'm not surprised.

where i currently work, the attitude is that they just need the work done, and if anyone provided a human excuse as to why they were unavailable (like, for your reasons) the management would treat it as "not my problem, get someone else in".

short sighted in terms of business (cutting loose a quality worker) but everyone is so behind and over commited, human feeling is the first thing to go

I know...it's so sad that people feel they can't be human. Just decent human beings that treat other people like decent human beings.

I'm probably way too much of an idealist for the City

I made a conscious decision to be open about my MH issues from the point of my diagnosis. I really thought that the quality of my work and my general confidence/not caring what people thought would see me through and I could help break some of the stigma.

Sadly this, plus a couple of other experiences with a previous employer have proved me wrong.

I've worked with a couple of brilliant managers who've really 'got it' and have supported me without treating me like I might break. But I won't be open about it at work again. It's too much of a personal risk.

OP "But I won't be open about it at work again. It's too much of a personal risk."

Indeed. I had anxiety and depression and at one place, I considered telling them only because I was worried about the medical form. But I decided not to, in spite of all the crap you hear about HR like to know so they can support you. Besides, it has nothing to do with my work.

in the same job, someone who had disclosed it, but worked there for a couple of years with no issues, suddenly had a bad attack and took two days sick saying it was anxiety related and anticipating no problems at all because they hired her with full knowledge.

she was treated really badly when she came back and quizzed by our manager and HR about what had triggered it, how likely it was to happen again etc etc. I should probably add this is the place where the CEO complained about sickness generally.

It cemented my view that I will never disclose it. Poor woman said to me afterwards - for two days, it would have been so easy to just say she had noro or something!

I would say YANBU because you are not complaining about the fact that they discriminate you as a contractor vs employee (as it is one of the main reasons why they pay a contractor more than an employee) but about the shocking attitude they have humanely speaking, ie rushed decision not even in the interest of the company as it sounds!!