DD is 8, in Yr 4 at school. She has been friends with mostly the same group, boys and girls since nursery.
Sometimes they socialise outside school, sometimes not but they are pretty close.
Over half term, I had 3 separate messages asking if either I could pick up another child to go to a party for one of the group, or did I want DD to go with them etc.
DD wasn't invited, so I said "she's not invited but thanks."
Her not being invited genuinely was fine, we only have a few friends for pizza or whatever on her birthday, so I thought nothing of it.
This morning, getting ready for school, she's told me who was invited -it was every girl in the class (14) bar three, a Jehovah's witness who isn't allowed to go to parties, an Indian girl who has never attended anything she's been invited to, and DD. Both girls have friends at school but no longer get invited because they have said they won't be able to go.
She told she's glad she wasn't asked because the birthday girl said "I didn't ask you because it was too girly for you."
DD isn't girly, she hates pink and princesses, she prefers skate punk type clothes, but she's not particularly anti it, just doesn't choose it for herself.
She likes "proper LEGO" instead of Friends prefers science kits to makeup kits, and is pretty cool, tbh.
This morning she announced "I think I might be a bit more girly so I don't lose all my friends."
I was so shocked she is thinking that, and said "let's discuss it after school when there's more time" but my view is that I will tell her that she shouldn't change a thing but OH is worried she might end up being isolated.
Her best friend is very similar but she went to and apparently loved the girly party.
AIBU to say sod the lot of them, and just make your own way. She has plenty of boy friends to play with but is worried she's somehow "different" to the girls.
I don't think I am, to be honest, because I think different rocks but it's good to get a opinion.