to be dreading work tomorrow & unable to sleep after this email - WIBU?

[theduchessstill]

I appear to have offended, angered and upset a colleague from a different department who has to roll out a new initiative over the coming weeks. The changes will have quite an impact on my department and his latest directive was sent out on Friday and had several members of my team in uproar. They told me they were going to email their concerns and I didn't tell them not to because I felt they had valid points.

Late on Friday I also sent him an email in which I challenged, politely I feel, some of his ideas and explained why they would be difficult for us to implement. I also pointed out a fairly minor error he had made which was directly related to the project in question. I could have ignored it and perhaps should have.

Anyway, he has sent an icy reply today claiming he has been besieged by emails from my department and that we have misrepresented his views, which I don't think we have. He has also CC'd in two senior managers, which I feel is a little OTT, but on the other hand I am quite glad as it should mean I get a chance to air my views.

But I am now dreading seeing him tomorrow and don't know how I should approach him. We don't work together but I see him most days. He is not senior to me but I don't know him very well. I can't sleep for playing out possible approaches. How shall I play it??

Ignore the competitive maturity on display here

??? What, you mean advice from other people (most likely experienced managers in their own right)?

Whatever you do, appear to be the amiable and reasonable one today.

Good luck.

With hindsight it may have been better for you to both have a face to face discussion at the beginning.
It’s not too late.
Perhaps suggest that you sit down together and air your views. You may surprise each other. After listening to you it might make him aware of how the changes may not be effective and maybe you will discover that some may be of benefit.
Hopefully you will resolve this without too much bad feeling.
Once you have hopefully reached a point of agreement, you or both of you could sit with your team.
Good luck OP.

He’s trying to make this about the manner these issues have been raised, rather than addressing the flaws in his project. Organise a meeting to address the reason his initiative has had him “besieged”

You shouldnt have sat back and let your team email him. Its not their place to quesion whatever he's rolling out directly. You should have reassured them you would talk to him about it and i think he's got reason to be pissed off at you if your whole team have seen fit to email him with their issues rather than doing the professional thing and you dealing with it on behalf of the whole team. I think you owe him an apology for that.

It would have been better to collate the issues your staff have, but that's done now. I'd send a single email in reply, ccd to the managers saying something professional but light, essentially that it would be useful to chat about it, I'm sure it can be easily resolved, I'll call you to arrange a suitable time. That way management know it's being dealt with without having to be actively involved. (I'd be pissed off if one of my staff emailed me without trying to sort something as minor as this out for themselves)

I think it would have been more standard practice for you to collate your teams concerns, decide what was valid, and then have a meeting with him to discuss those concerns and how to address them.

However it’s done now. I get the feeling you are not supportive of the initiative he has been asked to roll out.

Personally I would take this off email now. I would suggest a face to face meeting with him to discuss the concerns raised. Be seen to take control back. From a senior management perspective it will now look like you are not in control of your team and not supportive of the initiative, an initiative which I’m assuming senior management is. Do not now play tit for tat.

Simply respond with you understand his concerns, let’s take it off email and set up a meeting and walk through the teams concerns and how to address and move forward.

The issue here is change by command rather than consultation - he clearly hasn't properly discussed these changed with the people actually doing the work and is trying to command alignment to the new way.

It needs a step back and get agreement you both want to achieve the same outcome (facilitating a new way of working) but you need to sort out with the people doing the job how that is going to work rather than just a command from on high - and not even anyone with authority in their dept

Sounds like he should have discussed this with you before sending an email your the whole department. He can't expect there not to be complaints if this is just being sprung on everyone without proper discussion.

He sound pissed off because the faults have been called out in this new initiative. I really don't see how you could have stopped your team emailing him pointing this out. In fact, doesn't it show that there are gaps in the research and isn't it better to getting these things sorted now?

As for this thing about not copying in senior management, isn't that what they should be there for? This culture in management of 'bring me positives, never negatives, I only want solutions never problems' is why management are generally seen to have sloping shoulders and makes lower level workers feel frustrated.

He got exactly what he invited, the responses of the people he emailed. As a rule, whoever you message is who you can anticipate a possible response from. Had he messaged you and you forwarded it to your team, I would have expect you to collate, summarise and respond accordingly. He sent a scatter gun email, so he got flying buckshot in response.

Set a meeting for a face to face, invite him to present to your department...just don't stoop to his level.

Did I say that? No. I mean the comments detailing how the OP and her colleague are really petty and wasting the time of more senior people etc

As a poster who implied a fight over email between the OP and her colleague was petty I'll hold my hands up and say it wasn't my intention to patronise (and OP I'm sorry if you felt it was) but to illustrate a managers perspective on being copied into this sort of nonsense.

The comment was made to reiterate why the OP should absolutely not get involved in a tit for tat.

OP fwiw I once did similar when I was a newly appointed head of function. My colleague ripped me apart (unfairly to an extent) but she was right I absolutely shouldn't have emailed my concerns or allowed my team to criticise so openly.

I learnt a hard lesson and moved on but I do still cringe when I think about it.