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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop meal planning and to stop cooking for a while to make a point ?

12 replies

Miefilante1980 · 05/11/2017 20:21

I'll try not to drip feed, I work from home 4 days out of 5, I'm married with 2 kids 11 and 14 years old. In order to try to save money, I meal plan (up until last week) and I cook pretty much every dinner as I'm the one who cooks from. Meal planning for my family is really hard and depressing because the kids don't like much. It's stressing me out, I hate cooking and I'm resentful.

Thursday I had to go out for a course so dh had to cook (for the 1rst time in 2 weeks). The day after I had a friend around and dh was working from home. With my friend we were having a moan about our respective kids, dh came down to say hello and came out with : I cooked a very nice bolognese last night....after I had commuted 1 h 30 ...it was said jokingly but he really grated on my tits. Would I be unreasonable to let him deal with meal planning and cooking for a while ? I'm so fed up doing it all and pissed off with the fact he wants a medal because he did a bolognese sauce.

OP posts:
iamghosted · 05/11/2017 21:44

Get everyone involved.

The kids are old enough to put a simple meal together and as your husband is so proud of his spag Bol effort, he might like the opportunity to improve and practise on a weekly basis.

Akire · 05/11/2017 21:49

Yes take in turns even if DH is out late he can still meal plan and cook at weekends and organise an online shop.
Kids should be able cook a basic meal from freezer or a jar.

Maelstrop · 05/11/2017 21:50

Do it, OP, why are you being lumbered with all the cooking when you work too?

Miefilante1980 · 05/11/2017 22:04

I'm lumbered with it because apparently it makes sense as I'm working from home. I'm not going to do anything all next week and then involve them all. The problem is that dh is never consistent

OP posts:
MyKingdomForBrie · 05/11/2017 22:07

One night each per week and one night of left overs/freezer food etc.

namechangedtoday15 · 05/11/2017 22:19

I feel your pain. YA definitely NBA. But it'll cost you more overall, it'll take him longer both in planning and in cooking and after a week, he'll come to the view that its not really a big deal, he might even enjoy it because it's a novelty. So actually, it probably won't make the point that you want it to.

It's when you've been doing it for years and the sheer drudgery of it / expectation / boredom sets in that it becomes an issue.

If you haven't guessed, same here. But my H pulls his weight overall, Just that I end up doing all this which, on bad days, feels like I got the crap deal!!

Miefilante1980 · 05/11/2017 22:30

Namechanged - I can't stand looking at mince beef anymore or chicken. I usually love cooking but I have had it. I'm shattered, all I do is work and cooking...I'm feeling guilty (no more) if I don't have a decent meal on the table for them...I reached the point that I can't be arsed peeling a potato or cut an onion. Pretty much all my spared time is spent on Pinterest looking for some new easy meal to do.

OP posts:
NewMinouMinou · 05/11/2017 22:35

If your DH makes a mean spog bog, then he could scale it up so you can freeze a couple of extra evening’s meals.

I can also recommend a slow cooker or an Instant Pot - do a stew and the kids can cook rice/potatoes/ pasta to go with it.

oldlaundbooth · 06/11/2017 00:53

I hear ya OP.

It's a thankless task, it really is.

DH rarely cooks, the other month he did mashed potato and kept twittering on that it was the best mash ever. Ever.

Give me a break.

oldlaundbooth · 06/11/2017 00:55

Get your kids cooking - they are definitely old enough.

I honestly think it was easier back in the day when it was sausage on a Monday, egg and chips on a Tuesday, stew on a Wednesday or whatever, the same seven meals.

No imagination necessary!

Miefilante1980 · 06/11/2017 07:01

Thank you for understanding me. You wil be pleased to hear that someone (dh) has been prepping food before they are going to work. I think he is going to use the slow cooker. I wonder what he is cooking, I think it's sausages but I could be wrong !

OP posts:
MumW · 06/11/2017 10:45

I'm with you. I hate having to decide what we are going to eat.

Yesterday I said "What do you fancy for dinner this week" answer "Don't mind". I suppose it makes a change from "Whatever's easiest".

Sometimes I feel like cooking a huge vat of Bolognese on Sunday and serving it every day for a week. Definitely qualifies for whatever is easiest. If I'm feeling generous, I might make it into Lasagne as an end of week Sunday treat. Wink

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