To be fed up of being asked for money?

[RainbowsAndCrystals]

I'm not on the bread line but I'm definitely not comfortable and I have to watch my outgoings.

Been food shopping and got approached by a man asking me for money. I said no and he continued to beg until I got in my car. It was quite intimidating.

I was sat inside costa waiting for my train and someone came in and asked me for money. When I said no he looked so angry and offended.

I'm never rude, I always say no sorry I don't have any cash on me. Which is true, I pay for everything on card.

I just want to be left alone. I'm a good person and I give to charity every single month. Yet I'm made out to be a shit person because I won't give a stranger money. Aibu?

[LemonysSnicket]

Log and @alphajuliet123 in Leeds there is a v polite beggar by the entrance to Mill Hill, one with a dog by Sainsbury's on Boar Lane and generally one by the Hotel Chocolat store (also Boar Lane) ... off the top of my head.

[Auspiciouspanda]

There's loads in Leeds. Outside the Sainsbury's down Albion, outside the entrance to St. John's, next to the cash point outside of the post office on Albion street, outside both entrances of the big Sainsbury's on headrow, the recorder player outside Leeds train station that shouts at you when he doesn't get any money, next to the bin at the top of park row, opposite the church next to trinity and next to all the cash points down boar lane.

[user1497357411]

I buy their magazine sometimes. It is actually quite good. However, I never just give money and I will never give to child beggars. I read a report saying that if people do that children will be at risk for being taken out of school to beg instead and some children might even be at risk for being trafficed to beg.

[DayManChampionOfTheSun]

The absolute worst ones are the chuggers who look at you like shit if you can’t sign up to £5 a month.

I fucking hate being hasselled for money

[MinervaSaidThar]

Yet I'm made out to be a shit person because I won't give a stranger money.

Aren't you being dramatic? Of course YANBU to not give money but it's the person you're refusing getting offended, not the wider oublic.

[Oysterbabe]

I find walking through the town centre exhausting for this reason. I wear headphones and pretend not to see or hear the beggers and chuggers if I'm on my own.

[berliozwooler]

Sign of several years of a Conservative govenment kicking in.

[guiltynetter]

there is a lady that sits outside our local coop with her dog. all hours of the day. i always give her £1 she looks so sad. should i not do this? i don’t usually give to all beggars just this particular lady.

[60sname]

Honestly, you don't have to justify not giving money to any random who asks to yourself or anyone else. Obviously the person who wants it might think badly of you for not handing it over.

I do not give to beggars for some of the reasons listed above . If someone asks politely I will say no, sorry, nicely, but if they are aggressive, walk up to me or approach me at a cash machine/at night when I'm alone it's a straight 'no', no messing.

[rhiannonplas]

I'm getting really fed up of being harrassed like this in our city centre too. I donate a tidy sum monthly to four charities, including a homelessness one, so it doesn't prick my conscience to say a polite but firm 'no' to beggars and chuggers. It makes a trip to town exhausting though.

Do you think women get these approaches more than men?

[ChampagneSocialist1]

The times I've been asked for money by beggars because they were hungry I've bought food for them instead which they've then refused. Almost all the money given to beggars in U.K. Will be spent on drink, opiates or it'll be part of a gang begging operation. For these reasons I now don't respond to beggars asking for money but donate to the Sally Army and crisis instead

[genehuntshoops]

I hate this too. A few months ago a homeless guy came up behind me as I was paying for my breakfast in Greggs. He asked me to 'buy him a cup of tea' - I said 'ok' and asked them to add a cup of tea for him onto my bill. He then said no, he wanted the cash so he could buy a cuppa in Costa next door! Pissed me right off.

[Sprogletsmuvva]

We get this all the time in my bit of London. “Give me £3 so I can go to McDonalds/ buy a sandwich.” Usually while stood outside a big open supermarket.

Don’t engage. Whatever you’re already giving (taxes only, /half your worldly goods /other) is only up to you.

[DayManChampionOfTheSun]

Do you think women get these approaches more than men? not really, I would say it was an equal amount. With chuggers it’s is literally anyone who walks past.

[lottieandmia22]

I would never give money even if I could afford it because often you’ll be funding a drug addiction.

[apacketofcrisps]

My wife used to manage a betting shop and nearly every night just before closing the town "homeless" beggars would come and put all their change in the fruit machines, before going back to their flats. She used to hate it.

[Grapeeatingweirdo]

It's awful isn't it. Sign of the times indeed. Bournemouth is horrendous for it. A lot of the town centre shops are now abandoned and the doorways are full of excrement and bedding.

The problem is so bad that I now hate walking through town as it's so intimidating. I HATE being approached at night when I'm on my own, it feels like an act of aggression to me (grew up on a council estate and someone crossing over the road to come over to you usually meant trouble).

I give to two charities, one an international children's charity that allows you to sponsor a child and the other, a local homelessness charity - so I try not to feel too bad at walking past them, but it's horrendous.

I'd love to be able to solve these problems and give everyone who needs it somewhere warm and safe to sleep. If anyone has the answers, I will listen.

[MrsMarigold]

I just say no I'm on a tight budget and I have family members who need my help. It's true.

[factory999]

It is incredibly patronising to give someone food when they’ve asked for money- if you don’t want to give anything that’s fine, but don’t tell someone who has run out of all other options what they need, they are still a person.

As for being made to feel bad because you decline... just be grateful you’re not the one having to beg.

[Efferlunt]

It’s certainly got worse and more aggressive these past couple of years.

My mum used to respond flatly ‘I’m poor’ which was true. Usually worked

[FreddieFazzbear]

A sign of the times, it's only going to get worse.

[sparechange]

factory
Why is it patronising?

If someone tells me they are hungry and can I help by giving them some money, I’m only taking them on their word to offer to buy them some food.

I have no problem putting food in a hungry stomach but I don’t want my money used to prop up an addiction

There is a young lad who begs around the station near my house, and I often go to the chip shop with him to buy him some food and a drink, to keep him going until the shelter opens and he can go there.**
He knows I won’t give him cash but is always grateful for the offer of some food and somewhere warm to sit for a few hours

[Ilovetolurk]

alphajuliet try Boar Lane area unfortunately I usually see 3 or 4 homeless people sleeping rough every morning and I only walk around the corner

[ForalltheSaints]

When your local Tory candidate comes campaigning remind them of this. I do not want to support any alcohol or drug addiction so will not given to anyone begging.

[Nomoretears56]

factory999

Really? People like you are so full of your own self importance. Would you give someone cash when the suspicion is that they're going to buy drink or drugs or perhaps be part of a begging gang? Get a grip and don't be so patronising to others who are trying their best. sparechange was doing what she deemed to be right, who are you to say she's patronising? As I've said before, I give them nothing but would not criticise others for giving them food.