DS First Birthday and Naming Ceremony

[Ginglealltheway]

My DH keeps going on about having a joint first birthday/naming ceremony for our DS.
He wants this to be a big celebration with friends and family. I'm not sure about this at all. We are not religious, so just after DS was born, we had a very small gathering at home to 'wet the baby's head' and introduce him to our close family and close friends.

To then, a year later, have a naming ceremony, seems a bit over the top. To be honest, for his first birthday, I was just planning a small, family only, party at our house. A bit of cake and a few nibbles.

I was very lucky to have been surprised by my friends with a Baby Shower before DS was born and received some lovely gifts for baby (He is the first baby in the friendship group). Although it was made very clear 'no presents' for the 'wetting on the head' party, we have some very generous friends. I therefore do not want to have a large celebration on his birthday or have this naming ceremony as it just seems a bit fake (he's had his name for a while year) and grabby. But I know my DH just loves showing DS off (he is very much of the PFB brigade) and how we celebrate our DS's birthday is his choice too. I also know that he would be happy to do the organising.

Would I be unreasonable to talk him out of this party?

If he wants it and he’s going to organise it, what’s the harm?

We had a naming ceremony for DD’ssecond birthday. By that point she’d “grown into” her name and could take an active part. She had great fun.

We had around 60 people there - about a third of those were kids. It was a lovely day.

I understand how you feel that it's a bit OTT especially as you already had a 'wetting the babies head' thing and received presents for that too.

However, your friends would buy your DS a first birthday present anyway so it's not like your expecting a present for the naming ceremony AND a birthday present, it could be a joint one.

I had a naming ceremony for my DD and it really was a lovely affair, so I think you would enjoy it!

Tbh I think it’s over the top as well. A first birthday party is sufficient, it doesn’t need to be a naming ceremony. I don’t really see the value in it.

*you're

A naming ceremony?!

I'm with you OP, a small family party is perfect.

A naming ceremony?!

What’s the issue? Much more acceptable than a christening.

Cringe!! I'd give it a miss

The kid has had a name for a year. I really don't think ceremony is needed.

It’s aboit more than that. Are you always so closed minded?

I’d have a big party but the naming ceremony is not needed.
Rent a hall, have food and drink, cake, DH can make a speech, people can bring presents. (People like buying presents for babies, it’s fun.) You can stay out of the showy parts of the event, but still enjoy seeing all your friends and family. Everyone is happy.

A naming ceremony in the first couple of months? Yes. After a year? No. He’s read it online and likes the idea. A first birthday party is pretty special on its own, surely.

I was all ready to say go ahead and enjoy but you make your case well OP. I think that's enough.

Compromise with DH, throw a bbq in the summer or something just because. Get everyone together, he'll still get to show DS off just as much but removing the risk guests will feel obliged to attend and/or bring yet another generous gift. And why not make it about spending time with your friends rather than them admiring the baby.

What is a naming ceremony?
My question is totally not a goady, sarcastic one.
Because if it's low key, I don't see why you can't celebrate it alongside the first birthday.
I mean, it's not like a Bris or Baptism, meaning it wouldn't be as complicated a ceremony to plan.

It can be whatever you want it to be. We had a humanist celebrant who told a story about how DD came to be (how DH and I met and how it took him a long time to persuade me to have her) and then a ribbon ceremony where each of her aunts and uncles and grandparents and odd parents wrote a promise on a ribbon and handed it to her (she loved that). A poem and a toast and then a party.

Given the shit that’s said at christenings, I think it’s much nicer, personally.

Naming ceremony ott.
Try and compromise with a medium sized 1st birthday party and let him do the organising. We just had little tea parties at home but I know lots who had a massive bash, as pp said don’t worry too much about present aspect as not unreasonable for people to buy 1st birthday present.

I’m with you though.

*It’s aboit more than that. Are you always so closed minded? hm^

Perhaps you could educate us not in the know, Titty!

Actually a naming ceremony after a year is perfect! Like PP said you have a whole year of memories to go on and see your child's personality. We wrote letters for her to open on her 18th x

Cross post.

Perhaps you could educate us not in the know, Titty!

Is your google broken?

YANBU, I would think it a bit odd to be invited to a namng ceremony of a child aged 1+.

Actually, what was really nice was the celebrant talking about DD’s personality. Not sure you could really do that before 2.

I'm with you, OP. The naming ceremony sounds pretty odd and like something most people would just tolerate, plus the present issue as you say. I agree you should have a small cake thing for his birthday then host e.g. a barbecue or something in the summer, takes the pressure off.

Given the shit that’s said at christenings

What a lovely way to disrespect the beliefs of 3.5 billion Christians.

Of course they have a personality before 2!
We feel who they are the moment we first hold our children. They become more of who they are with time but how sad to write people off as having no personality before the age of 2.

If you're not feeling the naming ceremony alongside the 1st birthday party, OP, just wait. Your DH is probably a reasonable person and you can both plan it together. It'll be a wonderful occasion. And it's not any more OTT than a Baptism. None of it's OTT. It's a celebration of your most important person.