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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to consider getting a puppy?

45 replies

StudentMumArghh · 03/11/2017 13:54

DP and I are considering getting a puppy. We're leaning towards a Labrador retriever at the moment. The only thing is we both work and not sure if we have the time for a dog. Here's what my week looks like:

Mon: Out 8am-4pm (Hire a dog walker)
Tue: Out 12:15pm - 3:45pm
Wed: Out 12:15pm - 3:45pm
Thu: Out 8am - 12:30pm
Fri: Out 12:15pm - 3:45pm
Sat: Home all day
Sun: Home all day

What do you think?

OP posts:
DoubleDinghyRapids · 03/11/2017 22:36

Its way too much time for a puppy to be left alone. My lab is six months old and I could get away with leaving her two/three hours as a one offin an emergency, she’s way to young to to be doing on a regular basis.

If I left her to roam, she’d chew everything, and putting in a crate for so long everyday is something that will distress her.

One of you will need to take time off work initially. It’ll need an adults around all the time for several weeks, probably months, toilet training cantakes time, and no accidents for two weeks doesn’t mean toilet training is complete, a lot if books I’ve read say puppy needs to be accident free for at least a month, once that’s nailed you need to build the time slowly. Starting with five mins, then ten, then twenty etc. It can’t nit be rushed as you’ll end up with a very anxious and miserable dog.

Your puppy is going to neeed doggy daycare or an adult to take her if you can’t take time off. When it’s much older a dog walker on a the Monday will be ok, but it’s nowhere near enough until older, it really needs a full time carer on that Monday for a long while yet.

Pps have recommended an older rescue dog, that sound better for your family but bear in mind even then, an adults is gonna need to take a good chunk of time off while you settle dog in and learn how anxious it is a time being left alone, you may find it can’t be left more than hour without getting anxious.

Wolfiefan · 03/11/2017 22:41

As just about everyone else has said. You can't leave a puppy that long. They won't be toilet trained for a start. They need pretty much constant companionship and redirection when they chew your house! Grin

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 03/11/2017 22:43

Def not a lab. If I’m honest though leaving a dog everyday for hours is a lot especially a puppy their training will be all over the shop.
A slightly older less energetic breed would be better but still not ideal.

DJBaggySmalls · 03/11/2017 22:50

You've listed when you're out, but its just as important to realise how much work you need to do when you are in. Its constant.
Think of a puppy the way you would a toddler, you cant leave them alone unsupervised for a second. They need constant activities while they are awake. If you leave them to it they'll amuse themselves and you probably wont like what they get up to.

Maisy313 · 03/11/2017 23:30

My upstairs neighbours have a flat and work long hours, I think he's crate trained but he literally runs around all evening when they get home (it's incredibly loud and annoying) he's so restless due to being cooped up all day. I really feel for her but think my neighbours are total idiots.

NoSquirrels · 03/11/2017 23:31

We've just rehomed a lovely Lab cross, probably about 2 years old. She's fine being left, very calm, a good family pet. I work from home around school runs etc.

Even for an easy adult dog like mine, don't underestimate the guilt & work - it is a big lifestyle change. They need attention, training, walks, enrichment. I knew we just couldn't possibly deal with a puppy, hence the older rescue. I'd urge you to reconsider a puppy at this point, unless you are sure you can commit to what that dog needs.

StudentMumArghh · 04/11/2017 10:39

Hi thanks for all your inputs! We have a young DD (1) so not keen on getting a rescue. We would if we didn't have DD.

Definitely food for thought, we may have to leave it for now.

We have two sections to our garden and thinking we can fence in section off and get a kennel. Maybe that would be an option in the future when we have more time too.

OP posts:
Medeci · 04/11/2017 12:40

Hi thanks for all your inputs! We have a young DD (1) so not keen on getting a rescue. We would if we didn't have DD.

A lab puppy and a toddler would be a nightmare combination Shock.
I vividly remember trying to escape from my very bitey pup, his tiny sharp teeth teeth firmly gripped around my ankle and I couldn't shake him off.
If you really want a puppy then you need to carefully research breeds and find out which are easiest as puppies.

Wolfiefan · 04/11/2017 12:42

Don't get a puppy with a 1 year old. Just don't! You can't take your eyes off the pup. Toilet training and chewing!
They also bite. Well it's mouthing but it bloody feels like being bitten.

Catsrus · 04/11/2017 12:51

If it’s your first child and first puppy then simply don’t. I had a retriever pup with an 18 month old - but it was dd3 and puppy no 4, we had older dogs for the puppy to play with and drain some energy. Just as having a child is life changing, getting a puppy is too.

Costacoffeeplease · 04/11/2017 17:30

Fence a section off and get a kennel? Why?

Wolfiefan · 04/11/2017 17:39

So you want to shut it in the garden? Why? Theft risk and it could well drive your neighbours bonkers. Not to mention a pet dog should be a part of the family.

dotdotdotmustdash · 04/11/2017 17:49

Do you realise that many rescue dogs come from family settings and are perfectly even-tempered and good at getting along with children?

All puppies will use their teeth and claws to play and your toddler will definitely not enjoy it.

Also, please don't consider locking your dog outside in a kennel for your convenience. If dogs live in houses for the majority of the time they are very used to home comforts and don't grow coats which will keep them comfortable in variable weather. I also imagine it's a miserable existence being stuck in a cage for hours on end, either indoors or outdoors.

If you can find a family friendly adult dog who is non-destructive, they're likely to be happy to snooze on your couch for the hours you're out of the house and be happy to hang out with you and baby when you're home. It's a no-brainer really.

ShovellerDuck · 04/11/2017 18:52

It takes several months of near constant attention to housetrain a puppy and most of a year to teach it everything else it needs to learn.
If you want a pet that only gets attention a few hours daily get a hamster. A puppy is the same commitment as a baby.

DoubleDinghyRapids · 04/11/2017 19:04

Reading your last post I dint think you should get any dog for a long while yet and absolutely not a puppy.

I know many people think rescue dogs are aggressive and will bite their child, both digs will need same level of supervision with a baby, and a puppy will almost certainly mouth and chew baby. Many come from loving homes with families and need rehoming through no fault of their own, owners have died, moving abroad etc etc.

Puppies mouth A LOT, to an adult or older child they know it’s mouthing and can stop and train to redirect chewing a toy instead of their arse, a baby can’t. Babies and toddlers can also hurt the puppy through natural curiosity.

Putting in a kennel isn’t an appropriate solution to being left alone regularly for long periods of time, for a puppy, know lots of working dogs who happily live outdoors, and even they are not put out to live until they are older and start the working training, and ince outdoors permanatley they a not left alone for anywhere near that length of time and have appropriate sized clean and dry living space. Your dog won’t grow the approximate coat to live outdoors if it’s indoor half the time. so in winter it’ll be freezing. All the working dogs I have known don’t live outside from so young either. Have you factored in when it’s wet a raining and dog gets muddy and dirty, the kennel and bedding need cleaning for next day and the dog may well need cleaning before.

I used to have a frien with a similar set up but for a year old dog no small dc, and only for two afternoons a week, dog hated it, it didn’t help that her husband locked it out when he couldn’t be arsed with nirmalmdog behaviour, if it weed in house because he was playing games it would be locked out, if it sat under table while they were eating, he locked it out, stupid cunt had never trained it not to jibber round food. A neighbour took the dog in the end.

Have you looked at breed traits and learnt how much they cost to raise, life expectancy, common health probs and associated costs and exorcise they need, the times I know my dog will be being left she gets a big walk and exorcising straight before, so she is tired and emptied. Can youprovide that exorcise with a baby before going to work each day?

I know I probably sound harsh but I mean well, I really do, puppies and children are similar in that they both unpredictable, need constant supervision and not left home alone until well behaved teens (for a lab I think is 18mnth to 2 years). If you are providing the bulk of care and are First time mum and first time puppy owner , it’s going to be a lot of physical as well as emotional and financial stuff to learn for you.

If it were me, I’d wait until dd starts school so she’s old enough to handle the biting and appropriate behaviour around the dog etc. Until then research breeds and their temperaments,housing needs, exorcise needs etc also what to look for in a seller, get recommendations of good breeders who do health checks. Read training books specific to the breed you want, research doggy day care costs, etc etc. There’s no rush and you’ll be well prepared.

You could also research shelters, you may find they will put your mind at ease about being around a child, good shelters work with dogs for a while and state if one isn’t suitable for busy families.

DoubleDinghyRapids · 04/11/2017 19:07

@shoveller is correct, a whole different pet suitable to being left alone for so long sounds like a better option.

Maelstrop · 04/11/2017 19:10

See if you can download Ten puppies and watch the one where the toddler persistently annoyed the puppy who bit her. I was raging!

I think being out of the house so much would be bad for the pup. Who is going to toilet train it and teach it to walk on the lead/socialise it?

StudentMumArghh · 04/11/2017 20:55

Thanks all. I've grown up with dogs my whole life and don't remember them ever being such hard work and certainly not as much hard work as a baby 😅

We'll deffo leave it until I finish work/uni for the year next summer!

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 04/11/2017 21:58

Being in sole charge of a puppy is NOTHING like being a child or teen with one in the house. They need pretty much constant attention. I wouldn't take one on with a child below school age (ideally). Certainly not with a toddler.
And don't get a dog and shut it in the garden. Really. Don't.

Catsrus · 05/11/2017 16:49

My dds would have said the same as you. Their memories of our puppies were cuddles and giggles before and after school, the occasional chewed toy or shoe, a companion on the sofa watching TV. they are now all in their 20’s.

They couldn’t wait for me to get the new one. Having been left in sole charge a few times they now “get it”. SOMEONE has to be on alert whenever the puppy is awake. That was always me when they were children - I protected their shoes, moved them out of range, picked up the dolls, closed the doors, picked up the poo, noticed when the pup was ready to do a wee and rushed to the door with it. I was lucky - I was based at home, or my exH was, for all the previous pups. I have to say that the last pup, where exH was at home, was the least well socialised and was a dog with issues. Even though he’d “wanted” her, like the husband mentioned up thread, the reality was he couldn’t be arsed and saw her as an annoyance. They need company, positive reinforcement, consistency.

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