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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...... to think it is profoundly anti feminist to use the word "cunt"...

395 replies

BertrandRussell · 03/11/2017 10:00

....to describe, for example, an abusive violent man? I find the idea that, when looking for a word to describe awful, awful behaviour, we use a word for women's genitals horribly misogynistic.

Or am I just stuck in the 70s?

OP posts:
HoofWankingSpangleCunt · 04/11/2017 19:14

@saucery GrinGrin

fascicle · 04/11/2017 20:37

noeffingidea
I consider it a hate slur when used against a woman.

What about when it's used by a woman to describe another woman?

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 04/11/2017 22:52

Why is 'cunt' such a verbal punch? As opposed to another four letter word for female genitalia, T W A T? It's the conitation placed by ourselves alone that makes it taboo. A suspicious combination of nomatophobia and onomatophobia culturally separates the two words. It's hard cee opening phonic is not wildly different from twat when spoken, so are we offended simply because we have been conditioned to be?

A rose is a rose is a rose

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 04/11/2017 22:55

Connotation! Doh!

fascicle · 05/11/2017 09:08

Sleep
It's hard cee opening phonic is not wildly different from twat when spoken

Actually, there is a big difference. The k sound is a feature of harder hitting expletives and it also makes a difference that it's the first, rather than last, sound. 'Tw' pales in comparison as an opening sound, with the 'w' after the 't' acting as a break. Twat has one syllable but the pronunciation of 'tw' has the effect of lengthening the delivery/almost creating an extra syllable.

fascicle · 05/11/2017 09:25

Homophone error (brake not break)

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 05/11/2017 09:28

Hardly a soft word though, twat? Even cunt is softened by it's u phonic. Sorry, but I don't find the two to be wildly different in terms of pronunciation.

The impact is the reverence given to cunt. Kite is equally harsh when spoken but no-one clutches their pearls as it is not hailed as the worst word in the English language, nor is it used as an insult or to describe female genitalia. Phonics play their part but not the leading role.

RedForFilth · 05/11/2017 09:56

Has it not been reclaimed though? Like the word queer? I use the word myself, I used to hate it but I like it now! I don't find it hateful towards women. And I think there are much bigger problems that need to be tackled when it comes to equality.

KalaLaka · 05/11/2017 10:00

There are bigger problems, but tackling the use of language and the reasons behind these choices is part of dealing with them.

I used to say 'twat,' etc. but now refuse to use part of a woman's anatomy as an insult. Also detest 'man up,' particularly when used towards children.

I challenge anyone who refers to someone as a 'pussy': yes, that thing that creates and delivers life. Pushes out newborn babies. Such an inappropriate choice of word for something weak, don't you think?

EdmundCleverClogs · 05/11/2017 10:45

Phonics play their part but not the leading role.

They can play a leading role though. As previously stated, 'hard words' like fuck and cunt are considered awful in whatever context they're used, feck and shite whilst also meaning the same as their 'hard' versions are considered soft, even comical. Sometimes words don't have to have any rude or derogatory meanings what so ever, they are still offensive to the ears:

'This cake is very moist. This is the moistest cake I've ever eaten. You could smear, splurt and squirt a dollop of juicy things on top. I hope it doesn't congeal though.'

I bet most people can't read that without wincing once, though there's nothing offensive written. Phonetics can play a huge part in how abrasive we find words.

derxa · 05/11/2017 11:20

Phonics play their part but not the leading role. They play no role.
Some words are onomatopoeic but this one isn't. A lot of swear words have one syllable so a short sharp shock.
Think of horse Pferd and cheval. They all mean horse but all sound completely different.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 05/11/2017 11:32

"Today 09:56 RedForFilth

Has it not been reclaimed though? Like the word queer? I use the word myself, I used to hate it but I like it now! I don't find it hateful towards women. And I think there are much bigger problems that need to be tackled when it comes to equality."

Has queer been reclaimed? I certainly would not use it as a straight woman. Would you?
Can I ask what changed your mind about the word cunt?
And I don't deny that there are bigger issues. Why is that a reason for not talking about the smaller ones? The way women are perceived in society is not a small issue, and that overall perception is built up from lots of small things.

OP posts:
Original poster
BertrandRussell · 05/11/2017 11:33

"Pferd" would be a good swear word...

OP posts:
noeffingidea · 05/11/2017 11:37

What about when it's used by a woman to describe another woman.
Still hate speech, IMO. I'm not sure why you felt the need to ask that question. It implies that you don't think that women are capable of misogyny when there's plenty of evidence to the contrary.

BlackBanana · 05/11/2017 12:05

It's not hate speech, ffs.

This trend towards censorship by calling things hate speech and the like is fucking Orwellian. It's disgusting and hateful in itself.

fascicle · 05/11/2017 12:08

SleepOhHowIMissYou
Hardly a soft word though, twat?

Didn't say it was. Just addressing your point that you don't see much difference between the two (when I don't think they're in the same league).

Even cunt is softened by it's u phonic

As opposed to what alternative phonic?

The impact is the reverence given to cunt. Kite is equally harsh when spoken but no-one clutches their pearls as it is not hailed as the worst word in the English language

Kite is nowhere near a phonetic equivalent. One of the characteristics of more powerful swear words is a short vowel sound.

noeffing
It implies that you don't think that women are capable of misogyny when there's plenty of evidence to the contrary.

Actually, no. I was interested in your viewing the word differently if it was used on a woman and wondered if you also factored in the person using it.

RedForFilth · 05/11/2017 12:09

BertrandRussell what do you think the Q stands for in LGBTQI? My friends and I use it but I'm not heterosexual or "straight" as you put it. I just don't understand difference between calling someone a don't or a dick tbh. Maybe I'm just stupid or something.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 05/11/2017 12:19

"BertrandRussell what do you think the Q stands for in LGBTQI? My friends and I use it but I'm not heterosexual or "straight" as you put it. I just don't understand difference between calling someone a don't or a dick tbh. Maybe I'm just stupid or something."
The Q stands for queer. Some homosexual people choose to use the word. I don't think that means it has been reclaimed- if it was then it would be perfectly acceptable in every day speech.

I didn't think I was the only person to use the word straight". Glad you understood me, though. Hmm

And if you don't see that there is a difference in our society between calling somebody a dick and calling them a cunt then you are obviously not very aware of social conventions. Or linguistic subtlety. Or even of film classifications!

OP posts:
DailyMailReadersAreThick · 05/11/2017 12:38

Are you not in the uk? I know of no adult female who does not know that their cunt is their genitalia. It has not evolved at all. It is still used in this context..

I can't work out if you're being deliberately obtuse or you really don't get it. One more try.... When you hear "oh, fuck," do you think of it as "oh, crap" or as "oh, slang-term-for-sex"? Can you understand that for most people, they just think of its usual usage in that context - oh, crap? And, if so, why can't you understand that the same is true of cunt? Most people hearing "you're a cunt" will understand it to mean "you're an awful person." They will not for a moment think "you're a vagina."

Can you understand that? Can you comprehend that not everybody thinks like you?

HornyTortoise · 05/11/2017 12:41

I don’t see why twat or cunt wouldn’t be the same in your opinion, I thought they both referred to female genitalia.

I was always told a twat was a pregnant goldfish Blush Never looked into it any deeper though, just accepted that was what it was and found the way its used as an insult kind of funny. Everytime I hear twat I think goldfish

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 05/11/2017 12:42

"Can you understand that? Can you comprehend that not everybody thinks like you?"

I understand that perfectly. I am still interested in the fact that as a society we have decided that the worst possible swear word just happens to be a word for women's genitals. Not dick or arsehole. Cunt,.

OP posts:
disahsterdahling · 05/11/2017 12:44

What about when it's used by a woman to describe another woman

Even worse. What hope have we of men showing women any respect when women don't show other women respect.

hollowtree · 05/11/2017 12:47

Don't think it's anti-feminist at all.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 05/11/2017 12:48

"What hope have we of men showing women any respect when women don't show other women respect."

Why is it up to women to take the lead?

OP posts:
Tessliketrees · 05/11/2017 12:52

RedForFilth

I was told the Q stands for Questioning both by a friend who runs a LGBTQ group for teens and on training.