To not want to socialise with my Uncle

[Sarahh2014]

I'm 37 U is early 60s we've had a few run ins over the years due to him being a selfish prick e.g my mum told him that she wanted to take my nan out for a special afternoon tea as a surprise for her 80th he said no don't do that i doubt she'd enjoy it..my nans 80th comes and we go visit my nan she all happy and excited because just got back from surprise afternoon tea with..yes you've guessed it my sly af U..my mum held it together but was v v upset in car on way home..its my grandad 90th in December and we all been invited to my U house for a get together to celebrate he hasn't asked me and dh and ds direct this is through my dm..i really don't want to attend but I'd upset others if I don't but I fucking hate the man should I just rise above it?

No dont go. What a horrible thing to.do to his sister!

You cant 'win' whatever choice you make. Do you hate him enough to miss your granddads 90th, or could you see him another day?

Fruitcorner she broke her heart in the car I despised him frim that moment my nan is now dead and because my grandad is on his own that's why wondered if ibu

Djbaggysmalls it's a tricky one I wouldn't be as bad if not at his house but somewhere neutral

I would put aside your differences and go to celebrate with your Grandad, as it's about him and not your uncle. After that then you can avoid him but for the sake of an afternoon for your Grandad I would go. Is your Mum going?

Hopeandjoy16 yes she is it's her who really wants me to go

Go celebrate for your Grandad’s sake.

I think you may be overreacting about the going for tea incident. Your gran would probably have loved to go with your mum another day (is going out for tea special only once in a lifetime) and your mum didn't have to change her plans to please her git of a brother anyway. But if you don't like him, just don't go. It doesn't have to be a big deal.

Barbarianmum he took her plans and made them out to be his idea v underhand imo there has been other things is isn't just about the tea but thanks for the reply

Yanbu. What a horrible man. But Think about sending your poor mother to see that awful man herself.
I know it is a shitty situation but maybe for your mum you could put your own feelings aside and go in support of her.

I'd go for your mum's sake and your grandad's, of course. I'd see the house as the venue rather than a visit to his home.

I'd go. Yes he sound like a git but it's only a few hours and it's for your other nicer relatives sake.

Think I'm gonna go

I’d go and put your feelings aside for the sake of your mum and grandad. But outside of looking after your grandad hopefully you won’t have to have much to do with your uncle. Stealing your mum’s idea was so mean.

I'm glad you've decided to go, for your Mums sake.

I know how it feels over the afternoon tea incident. My Sister has done similar things and they didn't massively get to me, until after my Mum had died.

It all the better that he hasn't gone out of his way to ask you. You can have your Mums back.

I didn't go to my nans funeral as was in middle if v difficult painful pregnancy didn't want to travel my lovely grandad was fine and understood he knew I adored her..my uncle been shagging me off for it instead of speaking to me oh and I didn't invite him to my wedding last year so there's that...🙈

Oops slagging not shagging