AIBU to ask "is flirting cheating"

[geekone]

Now don't really post on here but recently had some text chat with an acquaintance of the opposite sex that I need to correspond with weekly. During part of our chat he got a little flirty (but in such a way that it could be laughed off if need be) it was not offensive and very complimentary. I am happily married and made sure that any chat from me after that was light, friendly and to the point, happy to stay friendly and flattered also by the attention but not stupid.
My question is though i can see how easy it would be to fall into the flirt trap, I have been with my DH for 20 years and the attention of another man could have easily turned my head even just to flirt back. I don't think flirting in general is cheating but I know that all roads lead to somewhere and things can spiral flattery is a beast and I would not be comfortable with DH overtly flirting with another woman but I wouldn't leave him for cheating either if he did.
BTW DH aware of received slightly flirty text and finds it amusing (maybe not if I had replied though I don't know )

Anyway cheating or not that is the question 😊

If you wouldn't want DH doing it, don't do it.

Yes I would be interested to know what people define as cheating aswell as my ex called someone sexy once on fb and told me it wasn't flirting?

Define as flirting* not cheating

I think it depends on the intent. If it's done as a laugh then it's not cheating, if it's done in the hope of something happening it is.

Everyone's definitions of cheating and flirting vary, so what's cheating to one might be a harmless smile to another.

Anything you need to hide, cover up, delete or deny crosses the threshold in my mind.

I think a lot of people muddle up flirting with being friendly. They don't seem to know the difference.

I have to say I find the 'Im such a flirt' crew of the same ilk as the 'Im just a bit mad, me' crowd.

I think it is cheating if you would take it further given the opportunity. That's my line in the sand.
It enters disrespectful territory if it is very explicit/involves criticism of your dp or you are saying things that you wouldn't want them to be saying to someone else or you know would really hurt them if they overheard your conversation.

If you wouldn't want DH doing it, don't do it.
This is the best way to sum it up really I think, within the realms of reasonable behaviour and expectation. Equally, anything you wouldn't want DH/DP/DW seeing, that's unacceptable too imo.

Uokbing, fair point but rest assured I've never worn cartoon socks or statement glasses in my life :)

What are posters who feel they 'flirt with everyone' actually doing?

Very approachable, chatty, smiley, good at small talk and quick to make a joke and put everyone at ease? In my book that's called 'friendly'.

Prolonged eye contact, playing with hair, questioning relationship status, paying personal compliments and maybe getting physically close is how i would describe flirting. Are people really doing this to everyone from their doctor to the staff in Costa?

By your description Laiste , just friendly then

Im a huge flirt, husband is a huge flirt, its really NBD to us at all.

Each to their own though.

Flirting isn't cheating, but it isn't being loyal either.

That was my question to @laiste I don't realise I'm doing It, I'm just comfortable around the opposite sex and friendly. Is it really flirting if there is no motive there?

Just to be clear I was flirted at rather than I flirted to. It just made me think as getting flirted at almost made me feel guilty (it wasn't even that bad just complimentary) and it made me wonder what others opinions were on flirting in general. Thanks for your replies

I think there's a problem if you'd hide the messages etc from your DP/DH, or wouldn't want him to hear a conversation. That's where I'd draw the line

Exactly this.