To stop holding doors for people

[Areyoufree]

Can we just all agree that, unless they will actually hit them in the face, you don't have to hold doors open for other people? I'm getting sick of either glancing back at the person behind me, trying to calculate if they are in the 'polite zone', meaning that I have to hold the door for them, or running up a corridor to prevent the person who is patiently waiting with the door open for me from getting annoyed.

Let's just stop this now. It's getting silly.

I've thought the same recently. I had hold of my 2 year old, held door for people behind me, a teenage girl I assume her gran, neither looked up, smiled, said thank you or made an effort to hold the door for themselves!!!

It may be silly for OP but some of us have manners If you dont want to run up the corridor to get through a door being help open for you then dont,,

Nickophorus,,i do the same.

In a bit of a concrete thinker, if sonething doesnt make sense then dont do it, but it does make sense on a practical as well as social level, to xare about other peoples wellbeing. Even the ignorant tossers.

Do people really think about this sort of thing - distances and such? . Just don't let doors swing shut in people's faces. My DH holds the door for women and my sons do the same. I often hold the doors for people with pushchairs. Its a non issue, surely.

So, can I just reiterate again - I am not suggesting slamming doors in people's faces. I especially feel like I have to say this, as someone 'accidentally' let a door shut in my face just now. Eyes previous posters suspiciously

I work at the end of a long corridor with swing doors at one end. Sometimes, I can be half way down the corridor, when someone will hold the door open for me. As a previous poster said, it can be more annoying to have to hurry down the corridor than to open the door myself. At the same time, I can never work out what the polite distance is to hold a door open for someone. And yes, even though this was supposed to be a light-hearted post, it does stress me out. I don't understand why we do it.

I find this thread interesting though. I know that social rules are not my strong point, but can see that I really am way off the mark on this one. And for the people saying it isn't a big deal - it is to me. Most days it's just an annoyance, but some days it's more than I can handle.

No, please don't stop. I appreciate it even if other fuckers don't.

Its the little kindnesses that can make life more bearable when its all going to shit around you and someone just takes a moment to smile or hold a door.

We need more friendliness in life, not less and being kind is contagious!

Yes why don't we all just see to ourselves and stop being polite and caring for each other right now this second! There's nothing worse that other people getting on the way of your day.

Well, regarding distance; if someone was more than 3 to 4 metres behind I think I would probably let the door go unless they were obviously powering along at a pace! A quick over the shoulder glance is usually enough to tell if someone is there, or if you can hear their footsteps. Catching a swinging door is usually easier than heaving open a completely shut one so it isn't quite the same as a door closing in your face.

With longer distances you may feel awkward sometimes, (why though?) but maybe they just want to make a simple positive connect with another human or maybe make a friend?

Funny (or rather, sad) how lots of us react to this situation by either feeling pathetically grateful or harassed. It is usually simply a good thing - people are noticing and valuing you. Perhaps try to accept it as a simple action and not to read anything else into it.

Distance-wise, if the door will still be swinging when they reach it then you should hold it, otherwise you can let go. Equally if they look like they're happily dawdling along & haven't noticed you.

I think I get what you mean op. How far behind does the person have to be before it isn't rude not to hold the door?
Someone i went to university with was fanatical about opening doors. On one occasion I remember him actually pushing in front of me just so he could open the door. That's just weird in my book.
My brother holds the record for weird holding-the-door-open behaviour. We were leaving a bowling alley and he was well ahead of the rest of us. He just stood there with one foot propping the door open whilst the rest of the group slowly made their way across the bowling alley. He was stood there for several minutes, we weren't rushing and I kept slowing down to see if he'd carry on standing there like a lemon.
He did. I don't know why he just didn't carry on through and go to the car, nobody else was going through the door.