To not know what to say to DD

[ThunderAndFrightening]

DD’s friend had a Halloween party this evening and invited all the girls in the class and some of the boys - except for DD. She told DD she forgot to invite her, but then has still not given her an invite and DD seems very clear she was not invited. All the class spent the day discussing their costumes and I expect tomorrow will be stories of how much fun they had. They are 7.

I don’t think they have fallen out, in fact last week we were out with friend and her parents, the party was even mentioned in passing and they seemed to be getting on fine.

I have tried to be upbeat, whilst acknowledging she feels sad about being excluded and we took her out trick or treating with some other friends - but not sure how to make her feel better or how to help her deal with the party stories tomorrow.

Seeing other mums posting on FB ‘best party ever’ and similar is not helping, as I would quite like to call the parents out on it. I would never let mine exclude one person even if they didn’t like them that much. It just seems mean when they’re so little.

It's such a horrible position your in. Reading it made me feel for your daughter. My suggestion would give her lots of love.
I wouldn't call the parents out on it but if it is brought up in a conversation then you can tell them you are glad it was a lovely party but it's a shame your child was the only one excluded.

Are you sure the "mentioned in passing" wasn't your invite? It seems really strange to have missed her out like this on purpose.

Id probably just be honest and say I didn’t think it was very nice she wasn’t invited and that is why it is important to not make people feel excluded. Have similar at DS school. All the non working mums arrange things kids of working mums are excluded.

I wondered that Barbarianmum but DD was really clear that friend has said to her that she keeps forgetting to invite her or something similar and that she isn’t invited her. And, also didn’t give her start times etc. It does seem odd, parents are nice people. I wouldn’t call them out unless it’s mentioned.

Right. Get on arrange a Christmas party and invite all the class but not that kid.
That will learn her.
I am joking but it bloody hurts.

She will probably ask why dd didn’t turn up and make out like it was never intentional not to invite her. Parents may not know. Have to admit I’d have texted the mum.

You don't need to say anything to DD. You need to get off FB and ignore whatever the parents are saying there. The party's happened, there's nothing you can do and the best way of helping is not to make a huge deal about it. If it was a misunderstanding, the friend will say so tomorrow. If not, DD just needs to get over it. Maybe that friend isn't so close any more, but that happens. She can make other friends.