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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if the nit-picking pedants realise just how idiotic they sound?

84 replies

LoverOfCake · 31/10/2017 18:50

MN has always had an element of pedantry over e.g. Grammar for instance, but these days it's gone beyond ridiculous to picking at people's behaviours etc and singling them out for the smallest thing. It could look like this:

Poster posts "I'm really worried about us all as a family. My children have serious behavioural issues, my daughter has been through a series of bad relationships, my eight year old told me to fuck off the other day, my husband thinks the answer to us rowing is using his fists, and he's also shagging one of the school mums. I'm currently locked in the bathroom after the latest row between us, my face is bleeding and I have a black eye. I need to go to the shops to buy food for dinner but I'm scared what will happen to me if I come out. So at the moment the kids have eaten the last of the haribo in the cupboard. Please help me mn." but someone will then respond "I can't believe you let your children eat haribo. Do you know how unhealthy they are?"

That is an extreme but isn't in comparison to some of the pedantry seen on here of late. Do these people who feel the need to read an entire thread and pick at one minor detail really think it makes them look good and superior? Because it really doesn't, quite the opposite actually.

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 31/10/2017 20:59

"I hate how posters take the piss out of 'huns'... It's so tedious and snobbish!"

That's a MN shibboleth/long standing speech habit/community marker though.

PortiaCastis · 31/10/2017 21:05

If someone posts for advice and their post is picked apart just for a missed comma then the nit picker is an arse and probably not at all interested in helping because their superiority is more important to them.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 31/10/2017 21:07

ShakeShakeTheMuffin In reality most people use the definition you described, so it's probably not long until that becomes the 'correct' version! Evolution of language and all that.

I learned from MN that Sinn Fein is not a man Blush

MyKingdomForACaramel · 31/10/2017 21:13

*bananas that is amazing - who has the time (or the will) to google weather temperatures - properly made me chuckle Confused

Mominatrix · 31/10/2017 21:18

I hate to disagree about the vagina thing - it really is just basic anatomy. The approximate equivalent mistake is to call your face you trachea. Or the buttocks your rectum.

roundtable · 31/10/2017 21:25

I got my spelling corrected the other week.

Wrote an a instead of an i in a word.

Poster posted just with the corrected spelling and a wink face.

No engagement with what I'd said, just needed to let me know that I was wrong.

Bit sad really.

There are some very socially unaware or awkward posters on here though so I tend to roll my eyes and scroll past.

Takes all sorts I suppose.

Countduckulanose · 31/10/2017 21:26

It must be horrible to pour your heart out, then see there's a reply only for it to be a one-word spelling correction complete with asterisk.
Utter arseholery

Breadwithgarlicon · 31/10/2017 21:33

I can't stand when posters pick at someone who's already down. I don't care if their grammar's bad or they sound a bit un-PC - you don't have to read it! Some people on here can be very petty and hurtful.

PortiaCastis · 31/10/2017 21:35

Yes its patronising to be treated like we're still in primary school but hey nobody is perfect especially not those who think they are.

Goldfishshoals · 31/10/2017 21:42

Yep. There's certain replies that are so predictable - make a grammar or spelling mistake and someone will correct you/pretend they can't work out what you are saying. Mention any food and someone will comment on its healthiness/act like it's your whole diet/decide to tell you how 'minging' they personally find it. Use regional or class related words and people will insist whichever you used is 'wrong' (ie call it dinner you will be corrected to tea, call it tea you will be corrected to dinner etc).

Also use any slang word (even one in use for centuries) and people will pop up to insist you should use the proper word (i.e. Objecting to 'kids' instead of 'children').

KinkyAfro · 31/10/2017 21:47

Smacks of bullying, especially the one tonight about a hotel refund going on a friends card. We all know OP should speak to the friend but some responses have been spectacularly unpleasant

BillyDaveysDaughter · 31/10/2017 21:50

I've read heartfelt, agonised posts where the OP is feeling dreadful about something and struggling in mental anguish, and a load of utter nasty bastards pile in to tell them how much they've fucked up and how they deserve everything they get. Sometimes 2 or 3 times, in case the OP doesn't react angrily enough.

Thanks God for the small number of empathetic and compassionate MNers who speak up.

If any posts these days are even real, of course, standard caveat. Maybe that's why the goady fuckers are free to goad and snipe, as it's all just elaborate fakery anyway...

PortiaCastis · 31/10/2017 21:54

Ah the keyboard warriors who wouldn't spout their bullying shite face to face for fear of retaliation are rather laughable, rounding up on a poster is mob mentality which smacks of nastiness and is pathetic.

5foot5 · 31/10/2017 21:56

I think it is generally very bad form to comment on spelling or grammar on an internet forum.

However, I must admit if I open a post which is a solid mass with no paragraphs then I tend not to read it. I don't comment, certainly no "Please rewrite with paragraphs" from me. But I leave it alone.

Babababababybel23 · 31/10/2017 21:59

I have just had someone nit picking on a thread I posted not long ago about advice given by my doctor. Used the wrong grammar in the title. Apparently I ruined our beautiful language Hmm
I decided to acknowledge it and he just kept going on and on. Jesus christ. What kind of thrill do they get out of it?
I think they award themselves a medal when they spot spelling/grammar mistakes

BuzzKillington · 31/10/2017 22:01

It's one of the things I love about MN - the pedantry, I mean. It makes me laugh.

I hate the nasty, aggressiveness you get on AIBU. Or the complete loons you get on P&C parking.

ProfessorCat · 31/10/2017 22:02

I love correcting grammar when someone is being a dick Smile

PortiaCastis · 31/10/2017 22:02

I remember seeing a bullying troll type person on the news because she'd been traced and prosecuted, ah dear the poor soul was crying yet she'd made others cry and thought nothing of it. I thought yep karmas struck yer bastard serves you right!

Neoflex · 31/10/2017 22:16

For me it's always how quick everyone is to shout LTB or go NC. I'm sure mumsnet has helped loads of posters who were generally in danger and being abused but it is getting hard to take advice seriously. My dh left the milk out of the fridge . LTB he obviously doing this to control you.
My MIL called to ask my dress size. Go NC she obviously doesn't think you are good enough for her son.

willyougotobed · 01/11/2017 01:28

Which thread is the pie thread?

I think it's the one called something like - should I make a roast dinner for a fussy guest in AIBU.

Tartyflette · 01/11/2017 01:52

Bananas I think I know him! (It was a him, wasn't it? )

Alas, , not really unless he also questioned your grasp of foreign railway gauges (guages?) or the rules of contract bridge

LineysRun · 01/11/2017 01:54

Yes, I think it's the chicken pie and roast potatoes and vegetables and gravy thread, and apparently it's not a proper roast dinner, so sod the advice the OP was actually looking for about feeding a small child guest, let's fixate on what to call the fucking dinner.

Oh and the carbs, my dears Or was that the other one?

Tartyflette · 01/11/2017 02:01

Yes, same thread - chicken pie is not a roast dinner and far too many carbs on the menu as well. I didn't mind the 'not a roast dinner' comments, some were lighthearted, but the carb nazis got right on my tits.

tccat · 01/11/2017 02:14

I think one of the comments was" please stop calling it a roast dinner" That gave me The Stabby Rage , who the fuck cares, it had nothing to do with the post at all
I think if we try and collectively stand up for posters when this happens it may help
I also hate the "nice first post" bollocks, everyone had a first post at some point, and we know it's thinly veiled troll hunting
And if you can't read a post with no paragraphs then that says more about your own level of intelligence than the posters, your eyes don't hurt reading it, you're just a bully with delusions of adequacy

PepperSteaks · 01/11/2017 02:58

I cannot abide when people put some silly comment and then such a waste of time and never funny.