To call 101 about neighbour?

[wotabastard]

My downstairs neighbour went absolutely ballistic at my toddler having a tantrum this morning as I was getting my children out the door to school and nursery this morning and I was actually scared to come back in my flat on the way home.
We generally walk on eggshells already, creep about and don't use the room above her bedroom in the morning. She has shouted and screamed at us before and sent her very calm and pleasant boyfriend up to ask us to be quiet, however he sympathised with me and was clearly embarrassed to be at my door. We make usual family noise and I try and modify it to the best of my ability. We do not play loud music, tv, stay up late or get up early. We were only up and about from 7.45am this morning (school at end of street). The noise she complains about is footsteps even when it is barefoot tip toeing, I really don't know what to do. The floors are laminated and I am saving up for decent rugs to hopefully muffle some sound.
My toddler wakes at about 6am and I creep through and quietly bring her to my bed where she bf's til we get up to get ready. At approx 8.40am we were due to leave and she started having a tantrum. I had opened the front door as her wellies were out there but it was such a wrestle. Suddenly I heard downstairs neighbour screaming at her to shut up at the top of her voice and viciously slamming her door. My toddler was shocked and even more upset after! It was horrible. As I came down the stairs I saw her standing in her doorway holding her phone out as if recording us. Then she glared at me and flounced inside, again slamming the door so the whole frame rattled. I found her behaviour so aggressive and threatening. My 10 year old daughter was with me and she was clearly shocked too.
I really want some advice as this cannot continue. When we first moved in last December the smell of cannabis sometimes drifted up and filled our hallway and I never complained! I also hear music/tv etc from them. I appreciate people do their own thing in their homes and I try to manage my expectations for communal living. My flat was empty for a long period before we moved in so I gather she has become used to utter silence.
My daughter got off my bed one morning months ago and ran across the floor once at about 8am and in retaliation she went round the whole flat banging on every ceiling in a really threatening manner. My ex was home so I went down stairs and knocked on their door to try and calmly discuss but she refused to answer her door even though I could hear tv and smoothie blender going. That's just once instance. We haven't heard a peep from them in ages til this morning. I feel anxious and stressed in my own home when my children are just being children and I hate constantly telling them to be quiet, especially when they are not being noisy in the first place!
Is 101 an overreaction to maybe get someone to speak to her?

Ignore the idiots who think that despite living in flats/terraces there should be complete and utter silence. hmm

I don’t think anyone has suggested that.

I would phone the council to check if laminate flooring in upper flats is even allowed in your area.

It's not about being silent. The noise living under someone with laminate is like living under elephants. Even my neighbours dropping things on the floor startles me as it makes such a loud banging noise.

If she shouted at my toddler, I'd be getting 'fiery' right back absolutely no need for it. Contact your landlord and put in an official complaint about her aggressive behaviour.

I understand why you want to call 101, we had problems with our neighbours a few years ago (they were the reason we moved house in the end!) and even though I never called 101, there were many times I thought about it. Verbal and physical abuse should never be tolerated and just because they live nearby doesn't mean to say you can't report them. I wish I had done something about our neighbours rather than just upping and moving but it was affecting my mental health so much I just had too. I hope you get the issue sorted asap. Don't be ashamed or afraid to call 101 to get it sorted xx

No excuse to frighten children, at all. It’s not your fault r.e the laminate either. Approach your landlord and see if they would be willing to put carpets down. I can understand that living below someone with laminate floors cannot be nice but you can’t expect children to sit still and be quiet all day and night.

Landlord.
This is not a police matter unless your neighbour is harassing or threatening you.

Well IMO the tone of some of the posts was focusing way more on ops behaviour rather than the clearly unhinged and VU neighbour.

And I see it all the time on MN- people getting worked up because their neighbours have the temerity to live their daily lives at a normal volume.

It's not about being silent. The noise living under someone with laminate is like living under elephants. Even my neighbours dropping things on the floor startles me as it makes such a loud banging noise.

I get that....but some of the responses to op were in the realms of fantasy land.

LLs are not noted (round here anyway!) for their quick responses to this sort of thing, unless op is one of the lucky few with a decent LL- she could be waitng months or years for something to be done.

If she can't afford rugs or carpet, she can't afford to move - just a ridiculous suggestion.

In the meantime she has to put up with shit from an abusive git, and why should she?

Sadly I don't think there's a quick resolution to this unless the neighbour fucks off

I can understand that living below someone with laminate floors cannot be nice but you can’t expect children to sit still and be quiet all day and night

It’s nightmarish, call it what it is.

I do agree with you re children not being expected to sit still all day. The neighbour would be insane to expect that.

At the same time, I don’t think people should be surprised when they move into upper flats - esp with young children - that have laminate/original flooring, and their relationship with the downstairs neighbour deteriorates very badly.

The law should be changed to force landlords to kit out their properties with adequate flooring (carpet in the case of upper flats).

Then maybe the poor OP (and her neighbour) could both enjoy their properties.

She sounds like a nutter. I agree with previous posters, keep a diary and have a word with your landlord.
Fact of life is that other people exist and make noises. If she expects silence she needs to move to an uninhabited island, far, far away.

Hi you have my sympathy. It’s horrible having a moaning neighbours especially when you are trying to be as quiet as possible.
I’m currently tip toeing round my first floor flat for the first time in nearly 20 years because the new neighbours ( being there 3 months ) have a problem with us walking on our floors.
I don’t have a toddler or laminate flooring but I do have 2 teenager and cushion flooring.

First you have to live your life. The kids have to go to school and believe it are not your toddler is aloud to make noise a tantrum even and she has no right what so ever to be intimating you and your kids.

I’ve just this week spent £400 on area rugs. So I have a layer of underlay, hardboard, cushion flooring and 4 very thick shaggy rugs over the structural wooden floor boards. ( mine is still moaning I hear her ) however it proves to LL or EH that I’m doing every thing in my power not to be anti social. So if I were you I’d consider getting rugs/carpets as a priority. You can get them off eBay at pretty reasonable prices. I would imagine the laminate is making everything louder. It’s probably driving her crazy

The second thing is I’m keeping a log. This helps because I not only keep a log of her activity but mine as well. ( my neighbours lied to my face saying my tv was on when it wasn’t). I write down everything I and my family do when we leave for work,school days out. When my washer is on, tv on and it’s volume. I write when I hear them just to prove I can hear them too BUT I’m not kicking off about it. It has also made me feel in control of the situation. I don’t want a falling out or a war with my neighbours but I’m ready should they start one.

I honestly believe some people can’t live in flats. I’ve lived here for nearly 20 years with 3 different set of downstairs neighbours and not once have I ever had issues with any of them regarding noise.

Also when I spoke to EH regarding my worries they did tell me that child noise is something they won’t investigate as children just don’t understand. So if she moaned about them she’d be told that too.
If I were you I’d definitely talk to your LL asap they might just change the flooring for a easy life.

2014
Bashing on the ceiling, screaming at toddlers and recording people outside their property. Pretty intimidating stuff and could be considered threatening p. I don’t see an issue with contacting 101. Op sounds scared.

Sadly I don't think there's a quick resolution to this unless the neighbour fucks off

That could potentially be even worse.

Right now, OP has to contend with a shrieky, slathering neighbour possibly at the end of her tether.

Seriously unpleasant, but unlikely to result in actual harm coming to either party.

What happens if downstairs neighbour moves out and OP gets a 6 ft, 20 stone bloke with the world’s shortest fuse move in instead?

I would never shout to my neighbour over the noise but I don't talk to them and have never complained so she is unreasonable for that. No some people aren't cut out for living in flats but my council doesn't let you bid on houses unless you live in one. And nor can I afford to move/rent private.

OP google 'carpet soundproofing' there's is a special carpet you put under the carpet to sound proof the floor. Ask your LL to get it asap and tell him you and your kids are the victim of agreession
Do not speak to her speak to your LL

In case it helps you could go to a carpet shop and buy remnants to put down instead of rugs - might be cheaper and if you can afford it you can get the raw edges bound.

I thought it was illegal to have floorboards/laminate flooring in upstairs flats? (for the very reason your neighbour is hacked off).

No I don't think it's illegal (would be great if it was)

gromance I rent from the council and we are allowed laminate flooring as long as the underlay meets specific requirements - basically good quality decent thick stuff.

I understand there's also different type of flooring/underlay.
The one we have is meant to bounce noise to us, but reduce noise going below. You can also get the opposite, and some types do both.

I thought it was illegal to have floorboards/laminate flooring in upstairs flats? (for the very reason your neighbour is hacked off).

Sadly not (yet). There was a case a few years ago where a couple tried to sue their upstairs neighbours for this reason. They lost.

Where I live (Scotland), Edinburgh and Dundee city councils have banned laminate/wooden flooring in upper rental properties.

It might even be written into the property deeds in some cases.

I’m rather sceptical about how strictly councils would enforce compliance in any case, given how widespread the problem is.

She's prob 'unhinged' as she's fed up of all the noise.
Not the op's fault, not the neighbours fault either though.
I thought you couldnt have laminate flooring in flats?

ButchyRestingFace that's sad. It's ridiculous having it inflats!

Just to add it’s not illegal to have laminated flooring in upstairs flats. I can be if it says so in the lease/freehold but that’s a civil matter.
Under new building regs how flats are built is different and obviously because of problems laminate flooring is not allowed in those new buildings.
But there is not a law ( unless you live in certain areas of Scotland) that says you are breaking a law by having wooden flooring.

Lots of HA are putting clauses in new let’s regarding flooring in flats as well now though.
But even if this is the issue here with the lease it’s not OP that has to fix it it’s the LL

DS bought a beautiful new build flat. On the floor above (top floor) is where the social housing was and the developers put laminate floors down.
The owner occupiers got carpet.
You could hear everything, and I mean EVERYTHING the people upstairs did or said. It was horrendous, DS even offered to buy the couple upstairs carpet to save his sanity.
OP until you have lived in a flat beneath a laminate floor you have no idea how noisy even everyday sounds become, whats more they tend to echo.

As others have said try and talk to her, neither of you are happy, and say you are saving for carpets /rugs.
Could you contact your landlord and suggest that you perhaps jointly contribute towards some carpets.

Can't get through to LA just now but I have written this note and would like to post it to her just to acknowledge what happened today. Should I?

"Whilst I appreciate and sympathise with the fact that you were disturbed by noise from my flat this morning, it is completely unacceptable to scream at children and behave in the threatening manner as you did today and have done before in the past. If you behave like this again I will have no option but to report you to our local community officer.

I am in the process of discussing this issue with my landlord to find a solution to hopefully minimise further noise.
I rent from "letting agent" and if you have any further complaints please refer to them as I refuse to be harrassed by you over this.

Kind regards, wotabastard."

The property is a privately rented old Scottish tenement building for those asking about laws/policy.