To ask you how you deal with rude people

[IllegalBlonde]

Just that. I work in a male-dominated profession and often come across people being downright rude to me. I don't want to engage in conflict, but I just hate feeling humiliated when encountering nasty customers. Over the last few years it seems to be getting worse, (or maybe I am being worn down) I am always cheerful and professionaI to them and try not to take it personally but it still hurts to be treated in this way. Male colleagues only very occasionally have the same problem, so I believe it is happening because I am female. Please be kind, feeling fragile after another grumpy person. Any tips would be grateful.

I’m looking forward to being able to use this phrase.

‘It’s a good job I’m at work and I have to be nice to you because otherwise I’d be telling you to fuck off right now’

I think in customer service you mainly have to ignore rudeness, although if they cross the line to be aggressive then you can refuse to serve them.

It does depend on the level of shittyness.

Out and out sexism/racism, or aggressiveness.
I would just tell them to get out.

But those arsey fuckers, who are not an ism just irritable/snobby gits, they are great prey for those with the ability to keep their cool.
It could be a sport!

Do you think me having a vagina allows you to speak to me like that?

FFS....don't say that to a customer!
You should never try to point score or attack back at a customer.
You can be assertive and calm and pleasant despite someone being rude.
I always remained pleasant to rude customers and found they almost always changed their attitude. If they see you are nervous or upset or aggressive they just get worse.
I never took rudeness personally. They didn't know me...they were just rude or frustrated people.
I don't know why employers don't train staff to deal with these issues properly.

I worked with someone who for an unknown reason was always rude to me. His tone was always impatient and he would talk over me, he would raise his voice when talking to me and even began to make personal digs at me.
I found it frustrating and also very upsetting to be subjected to but because he was a manager I felt there was little I could do. I found being more friendly made him worse.

At the end of my tether a friend of mine advised me to disconnect from him, by only responding with set phrases and minimal conversation. I could answer “yes”, “no”, “thanks” and “right”. I had to do it all politely, but avoid embellishing unless the situation required it.
I still struggle to understand why but within a week this man had reverted to being professional and polite in response to this, I think maybe by making our interactions entirely unemotional I highlighted his own behaviour more?? I have since done this whenever confronted by someone rude or aggressive and so far it always helps

I can't really give specifics as my role is unusual and could be outing.

I am loving the suggestions, I will try Lana's and see how that goes. The man who upset me earlier today acted like a prize git and this was confirmed by my male colleague who suggested that he would have probably not spoken to him in the same way. I think perhaps because I am cheerful and happy customers may mistake that for being a walkover and that's why some of them treat me like shit. Thankfully most people are polite and amicable and it is always easier/better all round to be respectful and kind, just a shame that there are some utter pratts out there!

Does your manager have your back OP? I used to have to deal with shitty customers (public sector) and my manager was 100% supportive. Red lines were very clear and so if people were rude I could always say:

"I don't like the way you are speaking to me, if you cannot be civil I will put the phone down"

"I will speak to you when you can be civil. In the meantime I will contact you in writing"

"I am here to do my job which is to help you, I would like to keep this conversation polite / there is no need to lose your temper / your attitude is making it difficult"

HTH OP however I think that burn out is unavoidable!

I also adopt kill em with politeness. The ruder they are the more polite and we'll spoken I become. Confuses the heck out of them

I hear you OP, I work in a customer facing role and encounter rude people frequently, I let the rude person finish their rant/comment etc...and then give a 'pause' along with a blank expression before I respond (always calmly and politely), and I've been told by colleagues that 'the pause' as they call it, speaks louder than any remark I could come back with, I think it really punctuates the end of their rudeness and gives a few beats of just their usually irrationally irate voice ringing in their ears.
If a colleague is being rude/ self centred I like to hum the tune of 'its all about you'!

Same as yerbut, I look them in the eye and pause. Then still looking them straight in the eye, I smile at them and deal with whatever they wanted.