AIBU to not go to work tomorrow ~depression~

[stressedout2017]

Namechange because personal.
I'm stressed out to the max.
DP doesn't know how to handle this depression.
Comes and go's in waves. Right now I do not want to exist. Don't want to face anyone or anything. Yet sat at work holding back tears trying to get through the day again.

Recently self harmed again. I'm not proud.

I need to escape.
I don't think I can face work tomorrow.
Don't know how to get away with not going in.
Need to be signed off, that's the only legit way of not getting into shit with work.
How do I do this???!

No nasty comments please, I need some genuine advice from genuine people.
Also, I've been told time after time again that if I feel at all suicidal to ring someone. But who?! I surely can't go to A&E- what a waste of their time when I'm not hurt just wanting to hurt. So WHO on earth do I call?
Feeling so alone.

So ended up doing precisely nothing and as a result here I am back at work. I'm my own worst enemy I guess, but I need to stick it out today so I can take my lil one trick or treating tonight.
Will ring tomorrow.. if I don't chicken out.

You poor thing. Can you ring the gp at lunch time or book online?

In my area you can also self refer to counselling services. You can do it online, which is often easier than calling.

My mum is a Samaritan. They are actually awesome. I rang them myself once and they helped so much just with one phone call.
They are not trained counsellors so ethically they cannot assist you in that capacity which is actually better in my opinion. They really do listen and suggest avenues you can go down to sort yourself out.

I urge you to reach out. Whatever you do don't keep it all in and retreat into yourself. It won't make it better. Be around others who make you happy.

I really hope things get better for you.