Will a cleaner change my life?

[Needadvicetoleave]

Recently moved in to a large 4 bed house (not a stealth boast, it's old, decrepit and we'll never afford to do it up). It takes more than twice as long to clean as our old house, I don't mind cleaning, but because of the time it takes, it's never all clean all at once, unless I do it all Saturday afternoon.

I'm thinking of getting a cleaner in once a week for 3 hours, sweep, mop,hoover, dust, wipe surfaces and clean bathrooms (takes me less than that). So it's all done in n one go.

Financially it'll be a squeeze - my 'fun' money would be cut by half but I can tighten my belt I think. It'll be a present to me!

DH does his share, but it's usually one puts DS to bed, the other tidies, cleans and sorts dinner.

AIBU to think it'll be great? Are there cons?

Having one hasn't changed our life but it has meant that we don't have to waste time at the weekends doing cleaning. All we do is basic tidying, wiping down surfaces etc during the week, and the cleaner takes care of the rest. It's definitely worth the money for us, but life changing would probably be a bit of a stretch. If we could no longer afford it I'd go back to the old regime with a grumble rather than devastation.

If he does his share, why would you be the one doing all the cleaning on a Saturday afternoon?

Unless he works 7 days a week, surely you'd just half the cleaning?

And why would your fun money be cut in half, instead of both of your money?

I said this to dh and now he has helped a lot more (always was fairly good but didn't think about changing beds/toilets/floors)

I would keep the money for yourself and the two of you could do it at an hour each max of a weekend

worra one of looks after(takes out) DS, the other cleans. Its a losing battle if we both try to do it and leave DS to occupy himself (22months).

My money/ our money/ housemoney, it's all the same.

I love having a cleaner. We have three small children, I work part-time. DH full-time with very long hours. Yes, it's cut our spare money, but more than pays for itself in terms of getting time together to enjoy. Before one would be looking after kids at the weekend while the other cleaned. I can't get much done on my days off, and our view was that my days off in the week were to spend doing things with the kids rather than household stuff.

We have a lovely lady who comes in for two hours every 2 weeks.

She does a general clean of bathrooms, floors, dusting and then any other job I ask like washing the skirtings.

It hasn't changed our world but it keeps on top of the jobs I struggle to do and stops dust and dirt building up (and only i would see).

The money thing is only the same as long as it's not just your fun money being cut.

If you think a cleaner is best, then hire one but it should be a present to both of you, if you're dividing the work equally.

In my opinion having a cleaner only changes things if you can afford to have them a lot of hours per week
Ideally twice
I had one and she would do 3 hours, house would look great
Then 2 hours later looked exactly the same as it did before!
So really the effects only lasted a day
For me it was a waste of money as I couldn't afford more hours!

Worra it's only a present to me as DH just doesn't 'see' the dirt/ mess etc. He'd happily not do any cleaning but does his share because he knows it should be done, rather than wanting it done or feeling any benefit once it's done. He'll part pay, but it'll be me that benefits as I 'see' the dirt and it irritates me.

A really good cleaner will have a good impact on your quality of life. A poor one will leave you feeling fed up. So I’d get one but try to get a recommendation and be really clear as to what you hope to achieve.

Mine do loads in four hours ( 2 people for 2 hours). That includes changing beds. Sometimes I have an extra hour for internal windows or oven. It’s a big five bed house but it’s tidy.

If you are tidy as you go and have a cleaner to “clean” I will appreciate it more than if your house only stays it’s clean and tidy for a day then you wait a week for the cleanser again.

it's only a present to me as DH just doesn't 'see' the dirt/ mess etc

Oh not that old chestnut! Of course he sees what needs to be done! Why do women spout this sexist crap!

That's why I gave up, Bernard.

If my only responsibility towards cleaning was to spend Saturday afternoons playing with a 2yr old, I'd think all my Christmasses had come at once.

I understand what you mean OP, my OH doesn't “see” dirt and mess. Has nothing to do with him being male; my sister doesn’t see it in her house either. He just happens to be messier/ not as house-proud as me. I love our cleaner and yes she changed my life. My OH doesn’t care if she comes or not.

A cleaner might change your life, but a partner who isn't a lazy sexist arsehole would absolutely transform it.

I reckon you need more than 3 hours, and you also need to be the type of people who wipe up as you go rather than leaving grossness in the sink all week.

It's not always sexism. My DP is a woman and absolutely lovely, but she doesn't see it and it doesn't really bother her when she does.

So we have a cleaner who comes twice a week and while I wouldn't say it's changed by life, it's made a huge difference to its quality and to our stress levels.

DH does what he needs to do - he does stuff he doesn't 'see' needs doing but 'knows' needs doing.

We take it in turn to clean/ look after DS. I prefer to clean.

My old housemate didn't see mess, still doesn't, her house is fucking disgusting. Her DH despairs of her, when I mention it I get "it's not that bad".

It's not sexist.

DH grew up in a grubby household.

Ecclesiates I already have one of those thanks. It's brilliant.

For me no it hasnt. I have kids that trash the place so i need to constantly clean

rain I'll take a big change to quality and stress levels!

I just hate thinking "this needs doing" but then can't actually be bothered to do it. DH has a set routine he tends to follow, which makes sense but there are nights when neither of us can be bothered, and noisy stuff can't be done with DS in bed. There's only an hour between getting home and doing bedtime routine so not much time to do it then either.

One of us does bed time, one the cleaning/ tidying/ dinner. If I get to choose I choose the latter, I hate the bed time routine (to be honest I hate large swathes of parenting and avoid it if I can).

DH would choose to spend the fun money on going out, I'd rather we spent it on a cleaner! Mess just doesn't bother him, but it really bothers me, more than most people I think.

To be honest, I am with your DH.

I wouldn't be impressed with my dh announcing we would have to tighten our belts because he couldn't be arsed to clean.

Ink normally I'd agree with you, but please see my other thread about DSs sleep.

Normally I enjoy housework.